"I've been putting smiles on facesnote whether they wanted any or not! since 1940!"
"The Joker is the kind of guy who will come up with a plan to kidnap a scientist and have them create a super-pheromone that will attract little old ladies to a warehouse so Joker can feed them into a woodchipper and use the resulting paste to make counterfeit money so he can buy fuel for his ice rocket that will freeze the entire city which will cause everyone to flock to his beverage vendors who will sell them hot chocolate laced with a mutagen designed to drive everyone insane."
— Shamus Young, Stolen Pixels (who put it quite well, if I do say so myself...)
Well! Finally got my own page, did I? 'bout time! I was created in The Forties, for Pete's sake! I've been around way longer than Superham'scousin! Why'd SHE get her own page first?! Weelll, it's not too bad, I guess... at least I can still gloat to Lexy about getting my own page first... As for that guy with the yellow ring...? He only wishes he was half as scary as me!
Oh, you were looking for information on moi? I'm flattered, really, but, uh... SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM ALREADY?! All right, all right, fine. Here'sMy Card (from the bottom of the deck of course) and the lowdown...
I am theMonster Clownhiding under your bed!
Of course, a true fan would want all the gory details fleshed out, yes? So then. There's me, and there's the Bat, two peas in a pod. I'm the better-looking pea, of course, but that's beside the point. Billy Finger and Bobby Kane, inspired by both the playing card and Conrad Veidt's deliciously chilling title character in the 1920s film The Man Who Laughs, conjured me up in good ol' 1940, back when heroes were allowed to kill, everyone Asian spoke with their R's and L's mixed up, and the art was worse than something drawn by a six-year old with crayons ('course, Jerry Robinson said he had a hand too, but that's not my department)... I gave that flying rodent a good runaround in Batman #1 (I was modest enough to give him the title...), and soon enough, I began carving out my own little niche.
But, as it turned out, that wasn't enough! No, they planned to whack me in my second appearance! Can you believe that?! But, someone (in this case, Whitney Ellsworth) came through for me, and I lived through a self-inflicted stabbing after all. So, instead of dying painfully, I only had to endure six months of agonizing hospital time! Those were the glory days... I'd show up, make a bit of trouble, kill a couple of people, get foiled by Fatman, and escape at the last minute. Gambling rackets, sniping FBI agents, I've seen (and done) it all. I was even executed once, y'know. 'course, The Grim Reapercouldn't hold me, and I came back... just in time to witness the rising of The Comics Code. (Hoo... and some people thought I was evil and insane... heh heh heh...)
Maybe I should've stayed buried a bit longer, cuz, you all know what happened next. The Dork Knight and that brat Robin were joined by Batwoman, Bat-Girl, Bat-Hound, Bat-Mite (yeesh, what's next? Bat-butler?), and no one was allowed to kill ever again. And we all lived happily ever after... NOT! Then again, I can't say that it was ever boring. I was allowed to play with bigger toys — everything from my own utility belt to giant record players (where the heck does Gotham get all that stuff, anyhow?). I even managed to get all of Gotham City to marvel at my enormous BONER!
But nothing lasts forever, does it? (Save the memory of Tom And Jerry.)
Come The Bronze Age of Comic Books, I was finally allowed to roam free again, and what a joy it was! Blowing off people's heads with exploding cigars and feeding them to sharks! It seems that finally, the heads at DC Comics got brains - it was here that I got my own series! And it lasted all of... nine issues... And I had to lose every time.
*COUGH*
Ah, well, who cares about all that? The Seventies might have returned me to life, but it was The Eighties that were really my heyday. You might recall an obscure little book called The Killing Joke written by some nobody called Alan Moore. If you haven't... GET OVER THERE AND READ IT, AND DON'T CALL YOURSELF A FAN OF MINE UNTIL YOU'VE MEMORIZED EVERY WORD!
Done? Good. Less than a year afterward, DC made the historical decision of killing off Robin — 'bout time, too. But just a little heads-up, it was Jason Todd, not Dick Grayson. Who was Jason Todd? Who cares? All you need to know is that every reader hated his guts, enough that they voted to have him die. But with an outfit like that, can you really blame them? Heck, at least thirteen of those votes came from yours truly!
Anyhoo, the poll was set up, the calls were made, and I gave poor li'l Jason a spanking he'll never forget. Rest in pieces. Then I got shot. And got trapped on an exploding helicopter. And vanished for all of a few months. And I still made it back in time for the holidays! From there on, my life's been just one giant rollercoaster ride (occasionally of the Hawaiian variety) 'specially since I killed Jimmy Gordon's wife during that earthquake.
Hold on, where're you going? D'ya think we're done with my life? Not even close! I've poisoned all the fish on the eastern and western seaboard and tried to patent them! I've become God and brought the whole universe to its knees! I've killed Siskel And Ebert, fer Pete's sake!
And NOW, I've got a shiny new show opening for Bratgirl, the Dead Hood and all Batsy's little sidekicks! Those little brats who make my Batsy fat, slow, and weak. Tsk TSK. They found my lack of face...disturbing.
But no, you don't care about any of that, do you? I bet you came to this page because you were so impressed by that pencil trick, or my apocryphal shenanigans afterwards. No? The dreadlocked barefoot monkey-man with that sexy, sexy laugh, courtesy of Kevin Michael Richardson, then? Perhaps you remember the days when I faced off withAdam West? The pointy-chinned me voiced by Mark Hamill? The meaty ol' me played by Jack Nicholson? The Silver Age-esque me voiced by Jeff Bennett? Or was it the version of me that turned into a twenty-foot tall muscleman? (Although that one didn't end too well. Object lesson on steroid use, kids!) OOH! Or when I got Birdbrain tobite my shiny metalcrowbar?Or the one with all those kid superheroes, where I was voiced by Data? The one based on a classic story where I'm voiced by BenLinus, going up against RoboCop? Or how about those timeswhere Iwas a woman?
'Course, any version of me is good as long as you don't think I'm that other psychotic, fourth-wall breaking clownnote I resemble that remark! who works for those Marvel guys. I'm not really fond of Mr. Wilson, but I do love friending him on that Facebook thingy and asking him to "do that pencil trick". It just gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. (Oh, and if you value your life, please don't confuse me for those teenage biker punks who swiped my look. Nor that weeaboo clown Kefka, who has the gall to steal my infectious laughter!note That talentless hack would be nothing without Ted Woolsey writing his cue cards!Nothing! Unless, of course, you don't value it, then by all means!)
And, if after all that I've still managed to leave folks some moral wriggle-room, you can check out my spiffy YMMV page here!
Well, that conversation was certainly uplifting, wouldn't you say? Look at how widely you're grinning. Ooh, and check it out! Your complexion is clearing right up. And that hair...! So rich a shade of green that only your undertaker'll know for sure. And that laugh! Isn't it beautiful? Not too shabby a rhythm for a white guy!
Ohhhh, don't give me that look. You were the one who took that card from me!Sheesh, how dumb can ya get? Straighten up. It's not the end of the world. Only yours. Annnd... there you go, now you see the joke. The very biggest and bestest smile of them all.
Let's see all the places I've popped up in the media...
Academy Award: You're looking at the only super villain (and only comic book character in general) ever to snag that little golden fella, thanks to good ol' Heathy. Too bad I couldn't appear in the sequel...
Acquired Poison Immunity: Seems I've developed an immunity to the stuff due to all my... recreational use.
Actually Clayface: The Joker you see for the majority of Batman Arkham City, believe it or not, isn't me. The titan I took at the end of Arkham Asylum poisoned me and left me too weak to run my gang, so I had Clayface disguised as me to keep anybody from noticing I was sick, and he was happy to take on "the role of a lifetime". And boy, did he work like a charm!; nobody could tell he was fake till he turned back to his normal form.
An Asskicking Christmas: If it's Christmastime and I'm around you can be sure there'll be asskicking aplenty!
Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better: Remember that epic speech Bane made in The Dark Knight Rises where he revealed Harvey Dent for what he really was to Gotham (which, I might remind you was due to my handiwork)? Well, somebody who did a fantastic impression of me made a Joker version of it. Wanna see it?
Arch-Enemy: Batsy and me provide the page picture for a reason, ya know!
Ascended Fanboy: Wouldja believe I am one? Weeper is such a hoot! Especially when trying to kill me!
Asexuality: Anyone who thinks sex is so great should try murder!
Then again, Harl and I might be expecting soon... well, posthumously in my case. But still! Imagine, a generational Joker to tickle Batsy's funnybone into his old age. Priceless!
Attention Whore: Oy, why should I be working myself to death with no one to appreciate it?
Badass in Distress: Would you believe I once rescued the old bat? But hey, what fun would the world be without him around?
Badass in a Nice Suit: As that doll Harley will tell you, it's not a killer smile unless you've got a suit to match, even if you're a charmer like me!!
Badass Normal: Though some would argue that I'm anything but normal. Still, the fact that folk who go toe-to-toe with ol' Supes are scared of me? That's gotta be worth something.
Hell, I've got one of the highest bodycounts in the entire DCU, far outdoing almost any superpowered freaks out there, and generally only outdone by those with the power to destroy entire worlds.
Bad Boss: Good help is sooo hard to find these days...
Bad Guys Do The Dirty Work: In one episode of The Batman, I actually saved Batsy's secret identity by taking care of Wrath and Scorn before they could spill the beans. What can I say? I didn't want anyone else being the Bat's end.
Batman Gambit: Ugh, couldn't they give this one a different name? Still, I've been known to pull off some tricks that put even ol' Batsy himself to shame.
Big Bad: Usually in those adaptations, but not so much in the comics. After all, why let others have all the fun?
Big Badass Rig: If you want to make an impression on the streets of Gotham, size really does matter. It also has plenty of trailer space in case you need to bring along your bazooka. You may call it overkill, I call it defensive driving.
Big Stupid Doodoo Head: Okay, so some of my insults can be a bit juvenile, but that's only because it's funny to call Bat-Brain a big 'ol guano-head.
Body Snatcher: Yes. I've even managed to pull this off in my comeback appearance in Batman Beyond. I lost my old body thanks to Tim Drake turning against me. Ungrateful kids; you teach them everything you know and then they turn around and stab you in the back! Or in my case the chest. Fortunately, I had ensured my immortality long before this inconvenience thanks to a little genetics micro chip I had planted on Little J during his time in my care. Unfortunately, my comeback was thwarted thanks to that Bat-Fake old Brucey was grooming.
Bored With Insanity: Every once in a while I feel like playing the straight man, especially when [Franchise/[Batman 'ol Batsy]] isn't around to fill the role.
Remember that one bit in The Dark Knight? With Harvey Dent and that saucy little nurse's uniform? That was a good one. I turned Gotham's White Knight into a murdering pyschopath.
And no, of course I wasn't afraid he'd pull the trigger. I'm crazy, remember?
Break the Badass: My actions have done this to toughest of heroes. And of course, if the chips are down low enough and even I stop laughing... It's a signwe're allin trouble...
Break the Cutie: Averted. As rough as I can be on Harley girl, I just brought out her pre-existing crazy! When I torture her it's just to get a few good laughs at her expense.
Bright Is Not Good: What can I say, I'm one of the most colorful characters in all of comics. But I'll kill you and your whole family for fun without a second thought.
Captive Audience: What's the point of killing Batman or one of his sidekicks if nobody's there to see it?
Cardboard Prison: Arkham's a great place to kick back and relax for a while, and it's never too hard to get out and about when I feel like a stroll through the guts of Gotham's gentry. Then again, that time I took over the place, that was glorious.
Car Fu: Once ran over a woman while reporting it to the police with a tied up Robin in the car. Did I mention this was Christmas time!
Characterization Marches On: In my first appearances, the only real quirk I had was an association with a certain playing card — I was just a straight-forward, humorless murderer and thief who merely grinned alot, rather than the comedy-obsessed and always laughing maniac you all know and love today! And I gotta say, boy howdy have I come a long way!
Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: I was last seen busted by a SWAT team after my little "social experiment" failed at the end of The Dark Knight, and didn't even get mentioned in The Dark Knight Rises simply because that damn Heath Ledger punk bit the dust before TDK was even released! Maybe that also has something to do with the Dollmaker ripping my face off (see Put on a Bus for some more on that little incident, my pretties).
Civilian Villain: Every once in a blue moon, usually when the Bat manages to get himself killed, something inside me snaps and I won't be my usual, cheerful self. I might even pass off as being, gasp, almost sane! How lucky for me that Batsy never stays down for very long.
Combat Pragmatist: A few notable examples include beating unarmed enemies with a crowbar, setting hungry dogs on them, spraying various unhealthy substances in their faces, trying to kick the Dork Knight in the ribs with a knife that came out of my shoe — and who could forget the time when I hopped myself up on Titan?
Though I tried to get Batboy a chance there, but he refused.
The Corrupter: Because madness is like gravity, and as you know, all it takes is a little push.
Crazy-Prepared: You think old Bats always has a contingency plan for each and every occasion? Trust me, I got him beat in that little competition.
Create Your Own Villain: In a few incarnations, old Batsy had a hand in my origin. Makes it more delicious wouldn't you say? Sometimes I subvert the trope myself by being the one that made poor little Bruce an orphan, such as in my first movie appearance. Heck, I even lampshaded it!
I suppose I was also responsible for the birth of the Phantasm and the deaths of my old mob gang.
Cry For The Devil: Hey, I never asked for sympathy, and I don't expect it! Still... It's amazing what one bad day can do to a person...
Cut Lex Luthor a Check: Are you kidding? Merely selling that flying saucer to NASA would have been so boring! And I wouldn't have sold it to the Soviets, in case you were thinking that. As I told that Red Skull fellow, I'm an American criminal lunatic.
Dartboard of Hate: That poster of Bats was really too good for me — the animated me — to resist! And I was pretty upset in that series...
Deadline News: How ol'Jacky Boy's version of me likes to advertise mouthwash that'll give you "hair color so natural, only your undertaker will know for sure!!"
Death Dealer: I'm always a card, but sometimes I like using them as throwing weapons too! What better way to show off some style than by slicing a man with razor-sharp metal playing cards? You can always be sure I have an extra one or two up my sleeves, too...
Death Is Cheap: So cheap that I'm fairly sure it's on sale whenever I come around.
Depending on the Artist: Some artists, like Neal Adams and Jim Aparo, give me a long pointed chin, while others, such as Marshall Rogers, gave me a square one. I'm sometimes lean and mean, while other times I'm of average build. Some depict my lovely smile as being stuck on my face, while others have me capable of showing... other emotions. Gotta admit, having the grin cut into my mouth so I can make two expressions at once, that worked out decently enough.
Depending on the Writer: So tell me. Am I a harmless prankster, a homicidal maniac, a hostage to momentary whims, or a chessmaster capable of constructing elaborate plans? All these and more, at various times. (The current official theory is that I'm so mentally unstable my brain turns right over every now and again, and I become insane in a whole new way. That Grant Morrison, what a kidder.)
Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: I don't know how Lex has such a hard time with Superman when he has so much more money and kryptonite than me. But you don't need much of the latter to put Supes in his place, right, Batsy?
Disproportionate Retribution: People keep saying I go into this, but I don't know why. A henchman who refuses to fork over the money he owes me when he loses a twenty-dollar bet on the World Series should be clubbed to death with a bunch of bananas (Note to self: takes too long. Use plantains instead). Anyone who would dare deny me first prize in a comedy competition just because I never actually entered it deserve to be mind controlled into becoming D-List criminals. And all those people who claimed that I couldn't legally trademark the fish that I arranged to grin like me seriously had it coming. Honestly, what's so disproportionate about all that?
Does Not Like Shoes: My costume in The Batman? A straitjacket and bare feet. It was a legitimate fashion choice! Well, I did adopt a variation on my trademark purple suit in later appearances, but I still went barefoot. Hey, it was the turn of the millennium. We're all entitled to try new things with our image once in awhile.
Do Not Taunt Cthulhu: Imagine how boring a battle with Superman would be if I didn't let him know I kidnapped that Lois woman.
The Dreaded: Like good old Batboy, I even scare the pants off of those who are far more powerful than myself. Some at the beginning believe me to be beneath their notice, but they soon learn.
Edible Bludgeon: I tell you, death by bananas is an absolute riot! Unfortunately, beating someone to death with a bunch of bananas can also take all night. Plantains make a much better weapon. I also taught lil' Andie a thing or two about killer bologna!
Enemy Mine: I'm as shocked as you are! When my newest animated incarnation made his first appearance, he actually joined forces with Batsy in order to take down Owlman, mainly because he just wasn't as much fun. In the end, he made a smart move and joined forces with the alternate double, but not before telling Bats that he tried to be good. That better not be signs of me decaying, otherwise I might need to have a little chitchat with those writers...
Oh, I should have trusted the writers more. I got to kill the Bat nine times! On a show for children!
Even Evil Has Loved Ones: I just don't get it!! I shout at her, I even give her a shining and a love tap or ten, but that dame Harley just keeps coming back for more.... (sulks off to corner) I do love ya babe!! I just can't change who I am... (Wipes tear) Please forgive me..... Hahahahahaha!! I just don't get dames.
Even Evil Has Standards: I may be a criminal lunatic, but I'm an AMERICAN criminal lunatic! When I found out that Red Skull fellow was a Nazi, I turned on him, right then and there. And don't talk about that selling-nukes-to-Arabs thing. Fanon Discontinuity, plain and simple, got it?!
Funny thing — to other villains, I'm below their standards (perhaps that would make me the Spear Counterpart to ol' Jimmy, if I'm to believe that Dick Flass). Well, phooey! I didn't want their help, anyway...
Oh yes, and there was that one time I met that Warren White guy in the showers, pointing out that while I kill people, I don't steal their kids' college funds.
Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Averted! I can damn well understand the good guys if I please. Even been one just a couple of times. It's just that it's out-of-your-skull boring.
Though, for the life of me, I can't understand why Batsy doesn't get the joke...
Eviler than Thou: Carnage? Puh-leeze! The guy is an uninventive, style-less dunderhead! Like I told him that one time we met, "Any idiot, nothing personal of course, can go out and slaughter a few thousand people, but where's the laughter and tears? The handstands and histronics? In short, my dense and sanguine pal... where's the theater?"
Evil Plan: I dabble in everything from the classic robbery to pay the bills to Mind Rapefor kicks. Though they usually involve Batsy somehow.
Evil Twin: Word is there're some worlds out there where my counterparts are on the good guys' side. Is that messed-up or what?!
Evil Versus Evil: I tussle with the competiton all the time! The penultimate issue of my own magazine pit yours truly against ol' Jonathan Crane, for example. The bet, entitled "The Scarecrow's Fearsome Face-Off", is which of our fearsome weapons is the best, and my laughing gas won out. Ha, that'll teach him.
Fourth Wall Observer: Don't mind if I whistle my owntheme tune. Or glance at the camera in all too many stories. Or chat about the editors. Or write my own article right here, right now.
Freak Lab Accident: Classic Origin, of course. You'd be surprised how taking a bath in a vat of chemicals can really bring out the worst in you!
Funny Animal: My Earth C-Minus counterpart, the Porker, has constantly fought Batsy's counterpart Batmouse.
Fun With Palindromes: I once suggested going through Gotham's phone book and killing everyone whose name was a palindrome. It's as good a reason as any!
Gender Flip: Thrillkiller made me one Bianca Steeplechase, while Flashpoint turned me into ol' Batsy's mother! That one could throw a wrench into our lovely chemistry...
Genre Savvy: I've been known to be this from time to time. Sometimes it even gets a little dangerous.
Glasgow Grin: Sometimes I opt to carve my trademark cheerful smile right into my face! Assuming, that is, it wasn't done for me; I can't quite remember anymore. If I don't have any of my happy gas on hand, maybe I'll give one to my victims as well!
Go Out with a Smile: Hey, if ya gotta go, you might as well be happy! Here, have a whiff of my flower, you'll know what I'm talking about!
Matter of fact, ol' Jacko's version of me practically said so at the parade!
Groin Attack: It may not be as fatal as a stab or gunshot, but it works, doesn't it? Even Aquaman knows I can deliver a good kick to the valuables when given the chance.◊
Hannibal Lecture: They named this gag after Hannibal?! I appreciate a good bit of wordplay as much as the next homicidal maniac, but the old purple people eater has nothing on me! I don't recall Clarice Starling ever dressing up like a clown and busting him out of jail (which would make him the lucky one...).
Hollywood Acid: Have a little whiff of my posy. Flowery pun, I know, but...
Hollywood Psych: According to the good doctors in Arkham, I'm not Insane, oh nonono. I am Super Sane! It's like Tourette's but mass murdery! Another one of dear Harley's bright ideas — fortunately, I managed to get to her just in time, because lunacy like that needs a wider audience.
Humiliation Conga: Less-Than-A-Pennyworth once outfenced me and trapped me on a pole-elevator of some sort, zipping up and down, up and down, for five minutes. Never did quite see what the pole was for...
The Hyena: It's always a laugh-a-minute around me, especially when the punchline involves a bomb and a busload of orphans. So many happy memories. I do remember some sort of amalgamated version of me with that name, but who can keep track?
Improbable Aiming Skills: My aim should be this good after all these years of using Gotham's people as practice. Need an example? Fine! Remember that one animated movie that's criminally underrated? In it, I unload an entire magazine from a Tommy Gun at those singing robots, all of them being headshots which blast off the heads of all 4 robots. The camera reveals me to be the shooter and my left hand was in my pocket the whole time.
And then there was the time I smacked Andie Beaumont with a salami. Insert your own joke here, this one's too easy for me.
Oh, and that other time where I took on Batsy and his lightsaber with a rubber chicken. You can call it stupid, I call it comedy.
Of course, nothing beats a good old-fashioned crowbar.
Improvised Weapon: You may want to be on your guard if I ask you to pass the remote.
Incredibly Lame Pun: "The Joker's Wild?"Nah, that one wasn't funny. Still, if you think that one was corny, you should see the one at the end of the movie with Jack where I died by falling off a building due to a statue pulling my leg!
In Love with Your Carnage: But he's sooo magnificent when he loses it... Especially when he loses it on me. Ahh, but dear Bats is in deep denial.
Insanity Has Advantages: Let's face it, by all rights I should have gotten the death penalty a long time ago. Although I wonder which would be the best way to go... the electric chair would be an absolutely heavenly sensation, while dying by lethal injection would allow me to leave a beautiful corpse (and I do love the irony)...
Crane hates this. Can you believe the buffoon actually tried using his fear gas on me? HAHAHAHA!
Of course, little Acey-poo showed me that no matter how wacky you are, there's still new depths to plumb. What a trip that that was...
Insanity Immunity: Put it this way, I once wore The Mask without any ill effects. Can't lose what ya don't got!
Instrument of Murder: I can do things with a violin bow you would not believe...
Insult Backfire: People say that I'm a sick, depraved, twisted, evil psychopath. I say "Thank You."
For example, in Arkham Asylum:
Batsy: Filthy degenerate! Me: Flattery will get you nowhere.
And as noted in "Insanity Immunity", I once put on The Mask! Didn't see hide nor hair of ol' Jimbo, but hey, he'd been riding my coattails all through the Nineties, so...
Kill Sat: In my comeback attempt, I tried to use one of these wonderful toys to mark New Gotham as Joker territory. Unfortunately, Bat Fake had to ruin the fun.
Kryptonite Ring: Sometimes I bump into Superman and have to remind him what dirt tastes like. Honestly, the only thing to be defeated by a rock more than Supes is those unfortunate pair of scissors. Maybe Supes should try carrying around paper.
Latex Perfection: Every once in a while I've felt the need to cover up my ol' rubber face of comedy with a literal rubber face. And I'm good at it, too. I've even fooled Batbrain with this one once or twice.
Laughably Evil: Again, duh. I don't supply the trope image just because I'm so handsome, you know.
Love Makes You Evil: Maybe. Maybe I did all this because I lost my beloved wife as part of my One Bad Day. Maybe I didn't. Hey, wanna know how I got these scars? Then again, I've lied so much about my past. The way Batman tells it in Confidential, I never had a wife and it was the allure of Bats himself that drove me over the edge.
Luxury Prison Suite: Once upon a time, I used to maintain a minature version of my hide-out beneath my cell in Arkham. Ah, good times.
Mad Hatter: Can't blame me for wearing my little neuroses on my sleeve! I do it better than ol' Jervy!
Mad Love: Me and Harl' have this kind of relationship... that's completely one-sided. Took the girl well into Batman #663 to get that through her head.
Man of Wealth and Taste: Though sometimes I skip the wealth part. The good things in life? Bombs, guns, all that? They're cheap. Though I do love my threads, I'll give you that much.
Masochism Tango: I like taking it as much (or more) than I like giving it — but only if it's Bats. He enjoys our little dances too, he just won't admit it.
Mind Rape: I do these so often you could almost say they're my specialty! (Well, aside from jokes, of course.) Made 'em the happy souls they are today...
Muggles Do It Better: I don't need to shoot magical lasers out of my ears to put Superman down faster than Darkseid usually does. Everyone gives poor Croc grief for his grand plan of "I threw a rock at him!" but it works so well against our favorite Kryptonian.
No Fourth Wall: And lovin' it! I'll happily chat directly with readers, and I've been doing it for years before that Anonymous — in the "chan"sense of the phrase — over at Marvel made it "cool"! I do it so well, even you can't be sure if I am or not sometimes!
No Sense of Humor: No, really! In my very first first appearance, I was a smiling psychotic gangster with no sense of humor whatsoever — and during my fight with Bats, he's the one making puns while I'm just screaming "I am going to kill you!"...
Not So Different: Batsy and I are two peas in a pod, and I keep trying to show him that. His response is predictable.
Not So Harmless Villain: You'd think a villain with a clown theme would be the most pathetic and lowest rogue in the gallery, right? Boy, you gotta love the imagination of those writers!
Flyboy donned a radiation proof suit and thought that'd be enough to defeat me. Also, he believed the marbles I dropped were just to trip him. He had an exploding surprise.
Omnidisciplinary Scientist: Biology, Physics, Mathematics, Anatomy, and of course good old Engineering, Psychology and Chemistry; all the stuff at boring old school that actually makes life fun for a prankster like me. The only subjects a genius like me has trouble with is that boring old inter-whatchyouaycallit-net, too much logic. Oh no, I wasn't a teacher's pet, it's quite the other way round actually. As a matter of fact Ms Crabtree over there has been licking water from her dish since I put her "facing your childhood fears" lecture to practice.... on a roller coaster showing the "movies" her daddy made with her back in sweet-16..... I wonder if it will work on Sheriff Gordy.....
And Jacky Boy likes to imply that I'm also a fella who is gifted in poetry, theatre, literature, and all that lovey dovey, boring pansy stuff..... Tell anyone I read that Shakespeare sonnet to my Dear Harley and I'll tear you lungs out, buddy boy!!
Pet the Dog: Alright, alright! There have been occasions (very infrequent occasions) where I might throw ol' Batsy a bone (shut up) and played nice. But keep your fat mouthSHUTabout it!I have a reputation to maintain!
The novelization of The Dark Knight has a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment where I slipped an old lady a hundred-dollar bill. Of course, that may have been me practicing for my big confrontation with Bats down the line, to try to imitate his every move so as to confuse him, which would help to drive an ordinary person mad... wait a second, Bats is no ordinary person! That, or I got tired of waiting around for my henchmen to pick me up and had nothing better to do to pass the time.
Pie in the Face: Batman's favorite present had to be the pie I gave him in the Christmas episode of the animated series.
Pirate: The actual pirate, not those illegal downloading kinds. And in my expert opinion, I looked damn good.◊
Put on a Bus: I appeared in the very first issue of Detective Comics published in our brave DCNuworld, only to let the Dollmaker cut off my face and hang it on a wall. Suppose I should get around to having that sucker stapled back on one of these days...
Shut Up, Hannibal!: I've been on the receiving end. Most often from the Crazy Chiroptera, the Turd Migratorius, and the Cute Chiroptera; but more than once from a criminal! I just don't get it. How can anyone honestly believe good and evil exist when I've proven beyond reasonable doubt that they don't?
Shut Up, Kirk!: Did you really believe I would go straight?
Sissy Villain: I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, darling.
Snuff Film: What, you think I wouldn't try my hand at something like this? My attempt at becoming a cinematic auteur was to be entitled The Man Who Killed Batman, although unfortunately I had a number of "creative differences" with my star. Old Batsy can be such a prima donna at times...
Split Personality: One of the many theories as to why my actions are so random and varied is because I have Multiple Personality Disorder, like good old Denty.
For some reason, Lexie didn't think the whole "booby-trap the coffins of your latest rampage's victims with springs to turn them into a wave of Jack-in-the-Boxes at their funerals" was funny at all. Can't imagine why.
Straw Nihilist: Nope, not Craney. I learned an important lesson a long time ago, one that makes this whole crazy, screwed-up world make sense: nothing makes sense. It's all just one big joke! But you guys, you don't get that — so I've got to show you. One wayor another.
Rousseau Was Right: And those times that people didn't take to the lesson don't count, damn it!
Suicide By Cop: Case in point. During the Last Laugh storyline, Nightwing (Robin #1 for those keeping score) did me in. However, Batsy ruined the fun bringing me back because he didn't want his boyfri-I mean, ex-sidekick to be a murderer. Still, wished I’d filmed it though.
Taking You with Me: Think I won't do it? I can and I would have, along with all of Gotham, when Carnage tried to kill Bats. (And he almost wet his pants, too. All I ever got from that guy was a big laugh.)
Themed Aliases: I generally use either re-arrangements of my name, such as Rekoj, J. Reko, Joe Kerr, or famous clowns like Bozo, Krusty or Pagliacci.
Underestimating Badassery: Flyboy thought it'd not take more than a radiation-proof suit to prevent me from using his KryptoniteFactor on him. If at least Batsy didn't get in the way. And Lexy saw my inability to handle Bats as a reason to believe I couldn't kill Supes. Well, that's what allowed Batsy to stop me, so Lexy wasn't completely wrong. For once.
Victory Is Boring: A lot of folks say that I could have killed Bats a long time ago, but I never have because this whole thing is fun. What can I say? IT IS!
Villain Ball: Yes, even I make mistakes occasionally.
Villainous Breakdown: I admit it. Even the greatest among us can't keep from going a little crazier from time to time. My most notable one was probably when Bat Fake mocked me. But can you blame me? Ol' Bruce never said anything like what that punk said!
There was this one time... I was holding the Philosopher's Stone... just waiting to remake the world in my glorious image... and then that damn green guy did something to me. Something 'orrible. Something I don't want to remember. Methinks he may have made me — gasp! SANE! Fortunately, it did not last.
Then there was the time I accidentally got all the powers of that freaky fanboy Bat-Mite, killed Batsy repeatedly, and finally decided to hop into his mind and loosen a few screws! Unfortunately, it all goes horribly wrong and Guanoman shows me my worst fear: not having an arch-nemesis to keep me company and therefore being... normal!. Oooooh, I hate to even THINK about it!
And then there was the number I sang for that old fart Gordon in The Killing Joke. (That's right, I sang an original song in a comic.) Shame, really – if only Al had included, say, a piano, maybe you'd know what it sounded like!
When other villains gather and try to scare each other, they tell Joker stories.
Vitriolic Best Buds: Sure, we try and beat the crap out of each other whenever we get together, but truth be told, I consider ol' Batsy one of my closest pals.
War On Cops: With Knightfall and The Dark Knight standing out as major examples.
Water Source Tampering: I frequently plot to slip Joker-venom into Gotham's water supply.
Then there was the time I turned the water supply into jelly.
What Could Have Been: I could have been a part of the Legion of Doom in Challenge Of The Super Friends, but as it turned out, I was in The New Adventures of Batman instead. Their loss as far as I'm concerned. I mean, they had Bizarro of all people! He's not a menace, he's a nuisance! And don't get me started on The Riddler. Why him as the Bat's counterpart? I mean really, riddles are boring, not to mention too easy for the Bat to solve. Where's the fun in that?
Then again, in Batman The Brave And The Bold, they wised up and included me among their ranks. THAT was one heck of a baseball game.
Who's Laughing Now?: Admittedly, only one time in my life (or rather my next life), did somebodyget the better of me when it came to getting under other people's skin. And that ended up as quite a "shocker!"
Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him?: Just shoot him? The death of Batman must be nothing less than a masterpiece! The triumph of my sheer comic genius over his ridiculous mask and gadgets!
Woman Scorned: Huh? Where'd you hear that? Harley would never hurt me! Even if I did try to... Uh... Replace her... And even if she did, she'd never get away with it... And... (Guh, I'm a lousy liar...)
Wolverine Publicity: My face was made for the spotlight! I can't help if I'm so marketable! They've even got my face on shoes for crying out loud!
Xanatos Backfire: Maybe I should've checked whether or not my attempt to force Batman into his greatest boner was foolproof enough to not wind up becoming Out Gambitted. For starters, I should've sent Bats and his sidekick into the Atlantic via plane, and not England like I wound up doing. But I certainly didn't count on Bats tracking the signal to my hideout!
Your Little Dismissive Diminutive: Ah yes, your little observation that I use this a lot is quite fitting, especially if you got it from The Dark Knight. I use it at least six times in that movie.
Joker:(to the organized crime community) Look, I know why you choose to have your little group therapy sessions in broad daylight...
Joker:(to the organized crime community) Soon little Gambol here won't be able to get a nickel for his grandma.
Joker:(to Batman) You just take off your little mask and show us all who you really are, hmm?
Joker:(to Batman) Does Harvey know about you and his little bunny?
Joker:(to Harvey Dent) They're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. (referring to the police and the organized crime community alike)
Joker:(to Harvey Dent) I just took your little plan and I turned it on itself.
