"The Joker is the kind of guy who will come up with a plan to kidnap a scientist and have them create a super-pheromone that will attract little old ladies to a warehouse so Joker can feed them into a woodchipper and use the resulting paste to make counterfeit money so he can buy fuel for his ice rocket that will freeze the entire city which will cause everyone to flock to his beverage vendors who will sell them hot chocolate laced with a mutagen designed to drive everyone insane."
— Shamus Young, Stolen Pixels (who put it quite well, if I do say so myself...)
Well! Finally got my own page, did I? 'bout time! I was created in the forties, for Pete's sake! I've been around way longer than Superham'scousin! Why'd she get her own page first?! Well, it's not too bad, I guess... at least I can still gloat to Lexy about getting my own page first... As for that guy with the yellow ring...? He only wishes he was half as scary as me!
Oh, you were looking for information on moi? I'm flattered, really, but, uh... SHOULDN'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM ALREADY?! Alright, alright, fine. Here'sMy Card (from the bottom of the deck of course) and the lowdown...
Me and the Bat are two peas in a pod. I'm the better-looking pea, of course, but that's beside the point. The point is, Billy Finger and Bobby Kane, inspired by both the playing card and Conrad Veidt's deliciously chilling title character in the 1920s film,The Man Who Laughs, made me in good ol' 1940, back when heroes were allowed to kill, everyone Asian spoke with their R's and L's mixed up, and the art was worse than something drawn by a 6-year old with crayons ('course, Jerry Robinson said he had a hand too, but that's not my department)... I gave that flying rodent a good runaround in Batman #1 (I was modest enough to give him the title...), and soon enough, I began carving out my own little niche.
But, as it turned out, that wasn't enough! No, they planned to whack me in my second appearance! Can you believe that?! But, someone (in this case, Whitney Ellsworth) came through for me, and I lived through a self-inflicted stabbing after all. So, instead of dying painfully, I only had to endure six months of agonizing hospital time! Those were the glory days... I'd show up, make a bit of trouble, kill a couple people, get foiled by Fatman, and escape at the last minute. Gambling rackets, sniping FBI agents, I've seen (and done) it all. I was even executed once, y'know. 'course, The Grim Reapercouldn't hold me, and I came back... just in time to witness the rising of the Comics Code. (Hoo...and some people thought I was evil and insane....heh heh heh...)
(Maybe I should've stayed buried a bit longer...)
Well, you all know what happened next. Batman and that brat Robin were joined by Batwoman, Bat-Girl, Bat-Hound, Bat-Mite (yeesh, what's next? Bat-butler?), and no one was allowed to kill ever again. And we all lived happily ever after... NOT! Then again, I can't say that it was ever boring then. I was allowed to play with bigger toys - everything from my own utility belt to giant record players (where the heck does Gotham get all that stuff, anyhow?). I even managed to get all of Gotham City to marvel at my enormous BONER!
But nothing lasts forever, does it? (Save the memory of Tom And Jerry.)
Come The Bronze Age of Comic Books, I was finally allowed to roam free again, and what a joy it was! Blowing off people's heads with exploding cigars and feeding them to sharks! It seems that finally, the heads at DC Comics got brains - it was here that I got my own series! And it lasted all of... nine issues... And I had to lose every time.
*COUGH*
Ah, well, who cares about all that? The Seventies might have returned me to life, but it was The Eighties that were really my heyday. You might recall an obscure little book called The Killing Joke written by some nobody called Alan Moore. If you haven't... GET OVER THERE AND READ IT, AND DON'T CALL YOURSELF A FAN OF MINE UNTIL YOU'VE MEMORIZED EVERY WORD!
Done? Good. Less than a year afterward, DC made the historical decision of killing off Robin - 'bout time, too. But just a little heads-up, it was Jason Todd, not Dick Grayson. Who was Jason Todd? Who cares? All you need to know is that every reader hated his guts, enough that they voted to have him die. But with an outfit like that, can you really blame them? Heck, thirteen of those votes came from yours truly!
Anyhoo, the poll was set up, the calls were made, and I gave poor li'l Jason a spanking he'll never forget. Rest in pieces. Then I got shot. And got trapped on an exploding helicopter. And vanished for all of a few months. And I still made it back in time for the holidays. From there on, my life's been just one giant rollercoaster ride (occasionally of the Hawaiian variety, but usually not). 'specially since I killed Jimmy Gordon's wife during that earthquake.
Hold on, where're you going? D'ya think we're done with my life? Not even close! I've poisoned all the fish on the eastern and western seaboard and tried to patent them! I've become God and brought the whole universe to its knees! I've killed Siskel and Ebert, fer cripes sake!
But no, you don't care about any of that, do you? I bet you came to this page because you were so impressed by that pencil trick. No? The dreadlocked monkey-man in a straitjacket with that sexy, sexy laugh, then? Perhaps you remember the days when I faced off withAdam West? The pointy-chinned me voiced by Mark Hamill? The meaty ol' me played by Jack Nicholson? The Silver Age - esque me? Or was it the version of me that turned into a twenty-foot tall muscleman (Although that one didn't end too well. Object lesson on steroid use, kids!)? That one voiced by some Bender...'s actor?The one with all those kid superheroes, where I was voiced by Data? Or how about those timeswhere Iwas a woman?
'Course, any version of me is good as long as you don't think I'm that other psychotic, fourth-wall breaking clown*
I resemble that remark!
who works for those Marvel guys. I'm not really fond of Mr. Wilson, but I do love friending him on that Facebook thingy and asking him to "do that pencil trick". It just gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling inside.
Well, that conversation was certainly uplifting, wouldn't you say? Look at how widely you're grinning. Ooh, and check it out! Your complexion is clearing right up. And that hair...! So rich a shade of green that only your undertaker'll know for sure. And that laugh! Isn't it beautiful? Not too shabby a rhythm for a white guy!
Ohhhh, don't give me that look. You were the one that took that card from me!Sheesh, how dumb can ya get? Straighten up. It's not the end of the world. Only yours. Annnd.. there you go, now you see the joke. The very biggest and bestest smile of them all.
Let's see all the places I've popped up in the media...
And here are some tropes that apply to various versions of ME:
Academy Award: You're looking at the only super villain (and only comic book character in general) ever to snag that little golden fella, thanks to good ol' Heathy. Too bad I can't appear in any sequels...
Acquired Poison Immunity: Seems I've developed an immunity to the stuff due to all my... recreational use.
A God Am I: There have been a few occasions where I became an omnipowerful force to be reckoned with, most recently in the Batman The Brave And The Bold's version of Emperor Joker. You boys shoulda seen the original... I managed to break the Bat's spirit, and reduce his soul to mere confetti scraps! How he managed to get better is still the most fascinating mystery...
Always a Bigger Fish: The Creeper. Never get me near that guy! He's a lunatic! Dumber than a door nail but a lunatic nonetheless!
And considering who's telling you this, that's really saying something.
Amusement Park: I do love my fun after all. My hideout in that one movie was an amusement park with the only way to get to my house being a roller coaster ride. Hell, with a little ingenuity and some time and henchmen to kill, anything with a set of rails, like a steel mill, makes a damn fine rollercoaster. Don't tell me you never wanted to ride one surrounded by molten hot iron!
Arch-Enemy: Batsy and me provide the page picture for a reason, ya know!
Badass in a Nice Suit: As that doll Harley will tell you, it's not a killer smile unless you've got a suit to match, even if you're a charmer like me!!
Badass Normal: Though some would argue that I'm anything but normal. Still, the fact that folk who go toe-to-toe with ol' Supes are scared of me? That's gotta be worth something.
Hell, I've got one of the highest bodycounts in the entire DCU, far outdoing almost any superpowered freaks out there, and generally only outdone by those who the power to destroy entire worlds.
Bad Boss: Good help is sooo hard to find these days...
Batman Gambit: Ugh, couldn't they give this one a different name? Still, I've been known to pull off some tricks that put even ol' Batsy himself to shame.
Body Snatcher: Yes. I've even managed to pull this off in my comeback appearance in Batman Beyond. I lost my old body thanks to Tim Drake turning against me. Ungrateful kids; you teach them everything you know and then they turn around and stab you in the back! Or in my case the chest. Fortunately, I had ensured my immortality long before this inconvenience thanks to a little genetics micro chip I had planted on Little J during his time in my care. Unfortunately, my comeback was thwarted thanks to that Bat-Fake old Brucey was grooming.
Bowdlerise: Can you believe they wouldn't let me shoot those karate guys in the face? Well, not on screen anyway...
Breaking the Fourth Wall: If you're only just figuring it out... well, let's just say you're no Batman.
Break the Badass: My actions have done this to toughest of heroes. And of course, if the chips are down low enough and even I stop laughing... It's a signwe're allin trouble...
Bright Is Not Good: What can I say, I'm one of the most colorful characters in all of comics. But I'll kill you and your whole family for fun without a second thought.
Cardboard Prison: Arkham's a great place to kick back and relax for a while, and it's never too hard to get out and about when I feel like a stroll through the guts of Gotham's gentry. Then again, that time I took over the place, that was glorious.
Characterization Marches On: In my first appearances, the only real quirk I had was an association with a certain playing card — I was just a straight-forward, humorless murderer and thief who merely grinned alot, rather than the comedy-obsessed and always laughing maniac you all know and love today! And I gotta say, boy howdy have I come a long way!
Civilian Villain: Every once in a blue moon, usually when the Bat manages to get himself killed, something inside me snaps and I won't be my usual, cheerful self. I might even pass off as being, gasp, almost sane! How lucky for me that Batsy never stays down for very long.
Combat Pragmatist: A few notable examples include beating unarmed enemies with a crowbar, setting hungry dogs on them, spraying various unhealthy substances in their faces, trying to kick the Dork Knight in the ribs with a knife that came out of my shoe — and who could forget the time when I hopped myself up on Titan?
Though I tried to get Batboy a chance there, but he refused.
The Corrupter: Because madness is like gravity and as you know, all it takes is a little push.
Crazy-Prepared: You think old Bats always has a contingency plan for each and every occasion? Trust me, I got him beat in that little competition.
Create Your Own Villain: In a few incarnations, old Batsy had a hand in my origin. Makes it more delicious wouldn't you say? Sometimes I subvert the trope myself by being the one that made poor little Bruce an orphan, such as in my first movie appearance. Heck, I even lampshaded it!
I suppose I was also responsible for the birth of the Phantasm and the deaths of my old mob gang.
Dartboard of Hate: That poster of Bats was really too good for me — the animated me — to resist! And I was pretty upset in that series...
Dead Baby Comedy: I almost did this with some little tykes after the earthquake, but decided against it. I ended up shooting Jimmy's wife instead.
Deadline News: How ol'Jacky Boy's version of me likes to advertise mouthwash that'll give you "hair color so natural, only your undertaker will know for sure!!"
Depending on the Artist: Some artists, like Neal Adams and Jim Aparo, give me a long pointed chin, while others, such as Marshall Rogers, gave me a square one. I'm sometimes lean and mean, while other times I'm of average build. Some depict my lovely smile as being stuck on my face, while others have me capable of showing... other emotions. Gotta admit, having the grin cut into my mouth so I can make two expressions at once, that worked out decently enough.
Depending on the Writer: So tell me. Am I a harmless prankster, a homicidal maniac, a hostage to momentary whims, or a chessmaster capable of constructing elaborate plans? All these and more, at various times. (The current official theory is that I'm so mentally unstable my brain turns right over every now and again, and I become insane in a whole new way. That Grant Morrison, what a kidder.)
Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: I don't know how Lex has such a hard time with Superman when he has so much more money and kryptonite than me. But you don't need much of the latter to put Supes in his place, right Batman?
Disproportionate Retribution: People keep saying I go into this, but I don't know why. A henchman who refuses to fork over the money he owes me when he loses a twenty-dollar bet on the World Series should be clubbed to death with a bunch of bananas (Note to self: takes too long. Use plantains instead). Anyone who would dare deny me first prize in a comedy competition just because I never actually entered it deserve to be mind controlled into becoming D-List criminals. And all those people who claimed that I couldn't legally trademark the fish that I arranged to grin like me seriously had it coming. Honestly, what's so disproportionate about all that?
The Dreaded: Like good old Batboy, I even scare the pants off of those who are far more powerful than myself. Some at the beginning believe me to be beneath their notice, but they soon learn.
Enemy Mine: I'm as shocked as you are! When my newest animated incarnation made his first appearance, he actually joined forces with Batsy in order to take down Owlman, mainly because he just wasn't as much fun. In the end, he made a smart move and joined forces with the alternate double, but not before telling Bats that he tried to be good. That better not be signs of me decaying, otherwise I might need to have a little chitchat with those writers...
Oh, I should have trusted the writers more. I got to kill the Bat nine times! On a show for children!
Even Evil Has Standards: I may be a criminal lunatic, but I'm an AMERICAN criminal lunatic! When I found out that Red Skull fellow was a Nazi, I turned on him, right then and there. And don't talk about that selling-nukes-to-Arabs thing. Fanon Discontinuity, plain and simple, got it?!
Funny thing — to other villains, I'm below their standards. Well, phooey! I didn't want their help, anyway...
Oh yes, and there was that one time I met that Warren White guy in the showers, pointing out that while I kill people, I don't steal their kids' college funds.
Everything's Better with Penguins: Are you crazy? That birdbrain's not too bright. I only team up with him when the plan requires it.
Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Averted! I can damn well understand the good guys if I please. Even been one just a couple of times. It's just that it's out-of-your-skull boring.
Though, for the life of me, I can't understand why Batsy doesn't get the joke...
Eviler than Thou: Carnage? Puh-leeze! The guy is an uninventive, style-less dunderhead! Like I told him that one time we met, "Any idiot, nothing personal of course, can go out and slaughter a few thousand people, but where's the laughter and tears? The handstands and histronics? In short, my dense and sanguine pal... where's the theater?"
Evilly Affable: Ol' Lexie said it best: "Frighteningly sick in the head, but strangely compelling company."
Evil Twin: Word is there're some worlds out there where my counterparts are on the good guys' side. Is that messed-up or what?!
Evil Versus Evil: I tussle with the competiton all the time! The penultimate issue of my own magazine pit yours truly against ol' Jonathan Crane, for example. The bet, entitled "The Scarecrow's Fearsome Face-Off", is which of our fearsome weapons is the best, and my laughing gas won out. Ha, that'll teach him.
Expy: Believe it or don't, I'm a pretty popular guy! So popular, in fact, that all kinds of copycats and wannabes have started crawling out of the woodwork...
Aaaaah, I guess it could be worse. I mean, I could be stuck in a cave all day with a couple of whinyacro-brats nipping at my heels... oh, right. Hee hee!
For the Evulz: What better reason could there possibly be?
Fourth Wall Observer: Don't mind if I whistle my owntheme tune. Or glance at the camera in all too many stories. Or chat about the editors. Or write my own article right here, right now.
Freak Lab Accident: Classic Origin, of course. You'd be surprised how taking a bath in a vat of chemicals can really bring out the worst in you!
Funny Animal: My Earth C-Minus counterpart, the Porker, has constantly fought Batsy's counterpart Batmouse.
Fun With Palindromes: I once suggested going through Gotham's phone book and killing everyone whose name was a palindrome. It's as good a reason as any!
Genre Savvy: I've been known to be this from time to time. Sometimes it even gets a little dangerous.
Go Out with a Smile: Hey, if ya gotta go, you might as well be happy! Here, have a whiff of my flower, you'll know what I'm talking about!
Groin Attack: It may not be as fatal as a stab or gunshot but it works, doesn't it? Even Aquaman knows I can deliver a good kick to the valuables when given the chance.◊
Hannibal Lecture: They named this gag after Hannibal?! I appreciate a good bit of wordplay as much as the next homicidal maniac, but the old purple people eater has nothing on me! I don't recall Clarice Starling ever dressing up like a clown and busting him out of jail (which would make him the lucky one...).
Remember that one bit in The Dark Knight? With Harvey Dent and that saucy little nurse's uniform? That was a good one.
And no, of course I wasn't afraid he'd pull the trigger. I'm crazy, not stupid. Didn't you notice — I offed that cop with a silenced automatic, but had Harvey hold a revolver to my head? One loaded, one not, different so I could remember which was which. In fact you should have seen the look on his face when that coin came up tails, he pulled the trigger, and I kept on grinning.
I found myself on the receiving end from Bat-Fake that made me lose my cool. Called me unfunny. Who did that impudent brat think he was talking to?
Hollywood Acid: Have a little whiff of my posy. Flowery pun, I know, but...
Hollywood Psych: According to the good doctors in Arkham, I'm not Insane, oh nonono. I am Super Sane! It's like Tourette's but mass murdery! Another one of dear Harley's bright ideas — fortunately, I managed to get to her just in time, because lunacy like that needs a wider audience.
Ho Yay: I did have that fling with one of my mooks in "The Devil's Advocate" now, didn't I... And he's lucky just his legs got broken. After all, the only one I want is Bats.
The Hyena: It's always a laugh-a-minute around me, especially when the punchline involves a bomb and a busload of orphans. So many happy memories. I do remember some sort of amalgamated version of me with that name, but who can keep track?
Improbable Aiming Skills: My aim should be this good after all these years of using Gotham's people as practice. Need an example? Fine! Remember that one animated movie that's criminally underrated? In it I unload an entire magazine from a Tommy Gun at those singing robots, all of them being headshots which blast off the heads of all 4 robots. The camera reveals me to be the shooter and my left hand was in my pocket the whole time.
And then there was the time I smacked Andie Beaumont with a salami. Insert your own joke here, this one's too easy for me.
Oh and that other time where I took on Batsy and his lightsaber with a rubber chicken.
Improvised Weapon: You may want to be on your guard if I ask you to pass the remote.
Incredibly Lame Pun: "The Joker's Wild?" Nah, that one wasn't funny. Still, if you think that one was corny, you should see the one at the end of the movie with Jack where I died by falling off a building due to a statue pulling my leg!
In Love with Your Carnage: But he's sooo magnificent when he loses it... Especially when he loses it on me. Ahh, but dear Bats is in deep denial.
Insanity Has Advantages: Let's face it, by all rights I should have gotten the death penalty a long time ago. Although I wonder which would be the best way to go... the electric chair would be an absolutely heavenly sensation, while dying by lethal injection would allow me to leave a beautiful corpse (and I do love the irony)...
Crane hates this. Can you believe the buffoon actually tried using his fear gas on me? HAHAHAHA!
Insanity Immunity: Put it this way, I once wore The Mask without any ill effects. Can't lose what ya don't got!
Instrument of Murder: I can do things with a violin bow you would not believe...
Insult Backfire: People say that I'm a sick, depraved, twisted, perverted, evil psychopath. I say "Thank You."
For example, in Arkham Asylum:
Batsy: Filthy degenerate! Me: Flattery will get you nowhere.
And as noted in "Insanity Immunity", I once put on The Mask! Didn't see hide nor hair of ol' Jimbo, but hey, he'd been riding my coattails all through the Nineties, so...
Kryptonite Factor: Sometimes I bump into Superman and have to remind him what dirt tastes like. Honestly, the only thing to be defeated by a rock more than Supes is those unfortunate pair of scissors.
Legacy Character: I get an entire street gang dedicated to my humble self over in Batman Beyond. And of course, in The Movie, there's little Joker Junior (Tim Drake).
Love Makes You Evil: Maybe. Maybe I did all this because I lost my beloved wife as part of my One Bad Day. Maybe I didn't. Hey, wanna know how I got these scars? Then again, I've lied so much about my past. The way Batman tells it in Confidential, I never had a wife and it was the allure of Bats himself that drove me over the edge.
Mad Hatter: Can't blame me for wearing my little neuroses on my sleeve! Heck, I do it better than ol' Jervy!
Mad Love: Me and Harl' have this kind of relationship... that's completely one-sided. Took the girl well into Batman #663 to get that through her head.
Man of Wealth and Taste: Though sometimes I skip the wealth part. The good things in life? Bombs, guns, all that? They're cheap. Though I do love my threads, I'll give you that much.
Masochism Tango: I like taking it as much (or more) than I like giving it — but only if it's Bats. He enjoys our little dances too, he just won't admit it.
Mind Rape: I do these so often you could almost say they're my specialty! (Well, aside from jokes, of course.) Made 'em the happy souls they are today...
Nietzsche Wannabe: Wannabe nothing, I'm a pro! I learned an important lesson a long time ago, one that makes this whole crazy, screwed-up world make sense: nothing makes sense. It's all just one big joke! But you guys, you don't get that — so I've got to show you. One wayor another.
Rousseau Was Right: And those times that people didn't take to the lesson don't count, damn it!
No Fourth Wall: And lovin' it! I'll happily chat directly with readers, and I've been doing it for years before that Anonymous — in the "chan"sense of the phrase — over at Marvel made it "cool"! I do it so well, even you can't be sure if I am or not sometimes!
No Sense of Humor: No, really! In my very first first appearance, I was a smiling psychotic gangster with no sense of humor whatsoever — and during my fight with Bats, he's the one making puns while I'm just screaming "I am going to kill you!"...
Not so Different: Batsy and I are two peas in a pod, and I keep trying to show him that. His response is predictable.
Not So Harmless: You'd think a villain with a clown theme would be the most pathetic and lowest rogue in the gallery, right? Boy, you gotta love the imagination of those writers!
Pet the Dog: Alright, alright! There have been occasions (very infrequent occasions) where I might throw ol' Batsy a bone (shut up) and played nice. But keep your fat mouthSHUTabout it!I have a reputation to maintain!
Pie in the Face: Batman's favorite present had to be the pie I gave him in the Christmas episode of the animated series.
Pirate: The actual pirate, not those illegal downloading kinds. And in my expert opinion, I looked damn good.◊
Snuff Film: What, you think I wouldn't try my hand at something like this? My attempt at becoming a cinematic auteur was to be entitled The Man Who Killed Batman, although unfortunately I had a number of "creative differences" with my star. Old Batsy can be such a prima donna at times...
Suicide By Cop: Case in point. During the Last Laugh storyline Nightwing (Robin #1 for those keeping score) did me in. However Batsy ruined the fun bringing me back because he didn't want his boyfri-I mean ex sidekick to be a murderer. Still, wished I’d filmed it though.
Theme Serial Killer: I've done this on occasion, when it seemed like a fun thing to do.
Villainous Breakdown: I admit it. Even the greatest among us can't keep from going a little crazier from time to time. My most notable one was probably when Bat Fake mocked me. But can you blame me? Ol' Bruce never said anything like what that punk said!
There was this one time... I was holding the Philosopher's Stone... just waiting to remake the world in my glorious image... and then that damn green guy did something to me. Something 'orrible. Something I don't want to remember. Methinks he may have made me — gasp! SANE! Fortunately it did not last.
And then there was the number I sang for that old fart Gordon in The Killing Joke. (That's right, I sang an original song in a comic.) Shame, really – if only Al had included, say, a piano, maybe you'd know what it sounded like!
Of course, in Batman The Brave And The Bold they wised up and included yours truly in their ranks. THAT was one Heck of a baseball game.
Who's Laughing Now?: Admittedly, only one time in my life (or rather my next life), did somebodyget the better of me when it came to getting under other people's skin. And that ended up as quite a "shocker!"
Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him?: Just shoot him? The death of Batman must be nothing less than a masterpiece! The triumph of my sheer comic genius over his ridiculous mask and gadgets!
Wolverine Publicity: My face was made for the spotlight! I can't help if I'm so marketable! They've even got my face on shoes for crying out loud!
Xanatos Backfire: Maybe I should've checked whether or not my attempt to force Batman into his greatest boner was foolproof enough to not wind up becoming Out Gambitted. For starters, I should've sent Bats and his sidekick into the Atlantic via plane, and not England like I wound up doing. But I certainly didn't count on Bats tracking the signal to my hideout!
Your Little Dismissive Diminutive: Ah yes, your little observation that I use this a lot is quite fitting, especially if you got it from The Dark Knight. I use it at least six times in that movie.
Joker:(to the organized crime community) Look, I know why you choose to have your little group therapy sessions in broad daylight...
Joker:(to the organized crime community) Soon little Gambol here won't be able to get a nickel for his grandma
Joker:(to Batman) You just take off your little mask and show us all who you really are, hmm?
Joker:(to Batman) Does Harvey know about you and his little bunny?
Joker:(to Harvey Dent) They're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. (referring to the police and the organized crime community alike)
Joker:(to Harvey Dent) I just took your little plan and I turned it on itself.
Ahh, that was fun, but I really should be going. I'm late for Battyman's funeral. Wish you could come, but this jet pack only holds one! Up, up... and AWAAAAAAAAYYYYYAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!
