Hello internet, Sonic here. Seems that I've had some wacky adventures going on, even if I'm around that stupid fox Tails, that fat fucker Eggman, and that weird worm Jim. I also seem to enjoy that weird looking daughter of mine, Soniqua ... even if I boned that ugly mutant brain monster. I also think that Thunderhead is a dumbass and Kirby is a psychopath.
Running Gag: I liked my poster, until Mario destroyed it. Too bad to the people who thought I worshiped Dominique Wilkins, and made him the Creator. Seriously, all it took was a single shot to the face. Still don't know why he was fucking with me though, might be because I'm awesome.
Super Speed: Hey, dipshit who made this page, if you forgot to add this to this page, you don't fucking know me.
Squick: Oh my god, I still vomit whenever I think about that mutant brain monster.