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Schmuck Bait: Web Original
  • Gearworld, a Livejournal blog of a fictional travelogue, contains two instances of Schmuck Bait. Each instance had been discovered by a previous group of exploring monks, and they had left carved plaques behind to commemorate and warn about the experience.
    "PLEASE DO NOT STRIKE GONG
    While we fully understand that you are curious as to what happens when the gong is struck, we must strongly advise against it. The results are most unpleasant and dramatically fatal. Human nature being what it is, we realize that this warning may not stop you, and may in fact only drive you to strike it, but since we are unable to destroy the gong, and the lock was evidently insufficient to keep you out, we can only hope that you will take our advice. There are neither riches nor knowledge here, but only an ugly death.
    Respectfully,
    The Monks of Perdition
    (In Memory of Brother Wu)"
    • Unusually, in each case Eland carefully reads the warning and wisely leaves it as is.
  • This quote
  • Derrick Comedy: "Don't Jerk Off to This".
  • Oh, I hope nobody plays this! [1]
  • College Humor has a video called the "Retard Test". The patient is given this riddle: the red man lives in the red house, the orange man lives in the orange house, and the blue man lives in the blue house. So who lives in the white house? The patient gives "the white man" because of the way the riddle has been phrased. The doctor tells him "Wrong: the President lives in the White House. You're retarded." Not that it matters, until 2017 the correct answer would also be "a black man lives in the White House."
  • ASDF Movie gives us the Pointless Button. It does absolutely nothing when pressed.
  • Acts of Gord
    • Subverted in this story, where The Gord makes a 100% non-functional and incomplete Sony PlayStation and builds a shrine to it with a sign reading "Please don't steal me. You are being watched. — Management." In the two hour experiment, while a lot of people stopped to look at the shrine to see if it was real or not, the closest anyone came to actually stealing it was checking that no-one was looking, as the store lights were out, picking it up, and then putting it back.
    • He would also price crappy game much higher than they were worth just to see if people would steal them.
    • Gord loves these. He found a Game Shark that actually damaged N64 systems(which is easier said than done). Then he left it out for someone to steal. He then made lots of money repairing said systems.
  • This Lolcats page. That's one ice cream cone you would not want to lick.
  • Delete System32 (or any other vital file or folder)
  • Discussed on The Other Wiki: Don't stuff beans up your nose.
  • In the MSF High Forum, the nurse is infamous for turning people into, well, whatever strikes her fancy. She then leaves out a cake, with a sign saying "Free cake". She has had three victims of TF-cake thus far.
  • Many Let's Plays tend to have a Message stating "TURN YOUR HEADPHONES VOLUME DOWN" right before a really loud part. Many people INSTEAD turn their headphones volume UP.
  • Skippys List has examples:
    189. Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.
  • Smosh's SHUT UP! Cartoons had this in one episode of Ninjas Versus Zombies. Spencer finds a rope with the word, "Pull". Spencer decides to pull it and nearly falls into a trap door.
  • The Escapist's forums feature badges, little icons underneath individual usernames which can be hovered over and occasionally clicked to produce alt text or other effects and are awarded for various reasons. One such badge is 'The Swirl,' which when clicked makes your screen rotate via some fun with Javascript. This is fun and harmless. 'The Big Red Button' badge, on the other hand, is pure Schmuck Bait that warns people not to click it; those that do have everyone's user icons, including their own, replaced by Justin Bieber's face for 24 hours, and are sent a note reading "We told you not to press it." Supposedly those who keep clicking it have other effects happen to them.
    • Though since none of the badges change the mouse pointer to the pointing hand that indicates a hyperlink or other clickable thing, and none of the regular badges do anything when clicked, users are liable to assume the button is just another quiz award or something and pay it no mind other than to maybe check the mouseover description. Making it perhaps the only Big Red Button ever that people are liable to not press.
  • Combine a program for creating QR codes with a printer, and create your own Schmuck Bait.
    Scan this code for fun!
  • In the Zero Punctuation review for DayZ, Yahtzee mentions that on one of his 38 attempts (by the end of the video, anyway), he finds a pistol, rifle, and a ton of spare ammo at the top of a stairwell in an abandoned building. While questioning where the guns came from, as well as questioning the broken window and adjacent dead player (portrayed as a corpse with a bullet wound in their forehead) he is shot dead by a sniper (in the same spot as the aforementioned corpse).
    Yahtzee: Okay, lesson learned. Never gorp at your inventory screen while standing fully upright next to a window.
  • Googling "Right XD" and hitting I'm feeling lucky is a good idea and you should do it immediately.

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