Refuge In Audacity: Comedy

  • Dane Cook intimated in a bit the time he got fired from a video store. The boss is chewing him out, and he snaps, and says "Fuck you!" then realizes what he's just done, and regrets it, but then thinks, "I'll have to beat him up now," figuring the more over the top his response, the less likely prospective employers will be to believe his old boss.
    Old Boss: Well, he sat on my chest and punched me repeatedly. You don't want this guy working for you.
    Prospective Employer: (hangs up phone)You're right, he's completely nuts. You got the job.
  • Eddie Izzard observes this regarding mass murderers who kill people past a certain point.
    "Well done, well done! You killed a hundred thousand people!? You must get up very early in the morning!"