"The optimist says the glass is half full. The pessimist says the glass is half empty. It is only the truth seeker who wonders 'Why is the glass there? Why is there water all over the floor? Why is it covering every other surface of the house? Who or what is doing this to us?' Welcome to Night Vale."A new traveler arrives in Night Vale. This one has a foreign face and a handsome but terrible beard. Cecil does not trust him. Citizens are advised not to talk to him and to make a shelter out of their gardens. The traveler has married Cactus June.Cecil drinks and eats.Mayor Pamela Winchell calls an emergency press conference (her fourth this week). A heart throbbing for what it cannot have. Heat from below and above, but all is cold betwixt. The fences in the caves. The fences in the caves. Some journalists were arrested.PSA: Night Vale psychological association recommends spending 30 minutes every day believing what you see. More than 60% of working citizens live in a dome of obstinance and surreal fantasy. Trusting your own eyes can lead to some danger, but it is the most efficient way to live.The traveler and his wife, Cactus Judy, were seen shopping. He was shaking his head at the fashion of our clothing and clucking derisively. "We have much better when I am from," he says. The Sheriff's Secret Police are interested in the reopening of Jerry's Tacos. It was encased in amber last summer, but is now fine.Corrections: Mountains do exist. Well, one does, at least. Cecil is still not sold on the concept of multiple mountains existing.The traveler was addressing a crowd. He says he has traveled from the future to save Night Vale from destruction. Night Vale recently voted to decriminalize time travel, so the Secret Police cannot arrest him.Paid editorial sponsored by Yelp.com: various humming and whistling noises.8 PM Thursday at Dark Owl Records: Readings from new book. Friday afternoon is free admissions at children's science museum. Saturday has been merged with Sunday to create SUPERDAY. Monday will not harm you, but you should stock up on latex gloves.The traveler has suddenly disappeared, as have his photograph and truck. The hooded figures may or may not have killed him.In other news, Jerry's Tacos is now under management of the hooded figures. Animals and insects are avoiding the area. It has been renovated to look like a black monolith with no visible entrance.A woman has given birth to an adult man's detached hand. They named her Megan. Another has given birth to a metallic pellet. Cactus Jane gives birth to the traveler (possibly). She names him Champ.
Tropes present in The Candidate include:
- My Own Father: Implied to be the case with the Traveler.
"Today's proverb: Find more ways to work 'plinth' into daily conversation."