"Trust everyone. Welcome to Night Vale."In the aftermath of Valentine's Day, there is extensive damage to structures and power lines. However, Valentine's Day will not succeed in destroying Night Vale.The Night Vale airport will be rescheduling due to unexpected weather, such as the existence of an atmosphere and the sun. Martin McAfree says security measures are in place for citizens' own safety.Health tip from the Night Vale medical community: You might not be able to kill it. If it has burrowed under the skin, stop fighting it because it has already become part of you.Nether state nor national government has offered aid for the Valentine's Day destruction.City Council has proposed that dance be made official town language. Opponents say it is discriminatory against the physically disabled, and few of Night Vale's citizens are fluent in dance.Traffic: A representative from Secret Police waving a banner in the recording studio says there are street closures all over. He does not provide anything more specific than that. Anyone caught on a closed road will be dealt with in the usual manner, then he winks and gives Cecil a thumbs-up. It is possible he is simply a wandering vagrant.Corrections: Blue, not green. A low whirring sound was heard only by those to the west of it. The witness' name was Henry Gregson, not Crystal Souleater. We were feeling, at best, fine, not pretty good, thanks. No, no, do not do what we advised. We were so terribly, terribly wrong. If you have done it already, well, our heart goes out to those who miss you. Please forgive us.The mall's Valentine's Day footage of actual beating hearts on vivisected teddy bears was canceled due to the mall being flooded with poison gas.Emergency workers report coming across a stash of unactivated Valentine's Day cards. A special team is called in to deal with the danger. Three workers died before they could retreat.Intern Stacey died a few months ago.Pamela Winchell is facing criticism from detractors who are supporting Hiram McDaniels' candidacy.. She rants about...something. McDaniels is still in prison.Emergency workers report they have reached oldtown Night Vale. Oldtown received only minor structural damage. Emergency workers are feeling good about stuff in general, for once. They report a cloud.
Tropes appearing in Valentine:
"Today's proverb: Werner Herzog is the most interesting person."