First Aired - 2/11/1993It's Valentine's Day at Springfield Elementary, and in Ms. Hoover's classroom, all the second-graders are getting tons of cards from each other...everyone, that is, except Ralph Wiggum, who's left empty-handed. Lisa, taking pity on him, gives Ralph one of her Valentines, a card with a train on it saying "I 'Choo-Choo-Choose' You!". Overcome with joy, Ralph gets a crush on Lisa. Meanwhile, Krusty the Clown is holding a 29th Anniversary Show, and Bart and Lisa would do anything to get tickets for it.
This episode contains examples of:
- The Ahnold: Bart, playing a Terminator-esque John Wilkes Booth. Who then tries to go after Chester A. Arthur before Mrs. Hoover restrains him.
- Angry Black Man: Sideshow RaheemKrusty: Angry, angry young man.
- Better as Friends: After Lisa gives Ralph the Valentine's Day card she made, and he begins expressing a romantic interest in her, she goes to Homer and Marge for advice, and Marge ultimately tells Lisa to tell Ralph, "I'm flattered that you like me, but I'm just not ready for that sort of thing."
- Big "NO!": Lisa, right after Ralph confesses his love for her at the Krusty anniversary show.
- Also, Skinner yelling, "JOHNNY!" after having a 'Nam flashback.
- Bowdlerization: In-universe — Flanders' love song to Maude is a cleaned-up version of Rod Stewart's If You Think I'm Sexy.
- Brick Joke and Book Ends: The episode begins and ends with Bill and Marty from KBBL accidentally playing Monster Mash on both Valentine's Day and President's Day.Bill: You got the wrong record, didn't you?
Marty: Why are you doing this to me, Bill?
- Classically Trained Extra: Rex, the thespian second-grader, is outraged when Ralph is picked as George Washington. He ends up in a bit part as Washington's servant.
- Comically Missing the PointHomer: You know, one day honest citizens are going to stand up to you crooked cops.
Wiggum: (worried) They are!? Oh no! Ha-have they set a date?
- Don't Explain the Joke: "It says 'Choo-Choo-Choose you', and there's a picture of a train!"
- Hidden Depths: Ralph is revealed to be a very good actor.
- Innocuously Important Episode: This episode reveals Ralph is Wiggum's son. This was a case of Throw It In, as, prior to writing this episode, the writers didn't think to have the town's incompetent cop and the dim, chubby kid in Lisa's class be father and son and the fact that they had the last name "Wiggum" was a coincidence.
- Juggling Loaded Guns: Chief Wiggum using his gun to crack a nut open.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Lisa feels guilty for publicly humiliating Ralph and breaking his heart, by angrily declaring that she is not Ralph's girlfriend and only gave him a card because she pitied him during Krusty's anniversary show.
- Noodle Incident: Zigzagged. We see the flashback of how Chief Wiggum got tickets from Krusty the Clown (Krusty was at a porno theater, Chief Wiggum walks in to enjoy it as well, and Krusty thinks he's under arrest, even though he's not indecently exposed, with a prostitute, or with anyone under 18 note ) before Lisa cuts off with, "That story isn't suitable for children." However, Chief Wiggum implies that the version he told was where he kept his pants on. We don't see the version where he doesn't keep his pants on, nor do we get any further info as to why he would have his pants off in the first place. And Lisa doesn't want to know.
- Papa Wolf: Chief Wiggum doesn't take kindly to Lisa breaking Ralph's heart.
- Properly Paranoid: Rex, a more talented classmate who audition for the role of George Washington, suspected correctly that Miss Hoover was being blackmailed.
- Ralph Wiggum: This is the first episode to really showcase Ralph being himself (though, as mentioned above, he shows Hidden Depths of being a very good dramatic actor and he wasn't as dumb as he would be in the later episodes. In the early episodes, Ralph was just a little dim and socially awkward).
- The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson: Krusty shows clips of "classic" episodes, including an incarnation of the show suggesting that he once hosted a Tonight Show knockoff. The clip shown – a urine monkey relieving itself on Krusty's head, while a Joan Embry-type zoologist is a guest – is Springfield's version of a classic incident involving Carson and Embry's marmoset.
- In one clip Krusty sings "Break on Through (To the Other Side)" by The Doors.
- The title is a reference to I Love Lucy.
- Side Effects Include...: Bart's Krusty collection includes the Krusty Home Pregnancy Test, which "May Cause Birth Defects!"
- Special Guest: Michael Carrington (a writer for The Simpsons and Martin and host of the Nickelodeon game show Think Fast) as Sideshow Raheem
- Sure, Let's Go with That: Chief Wiggum's encounter with Krusty in a porno theater.Krusty: Is this a bust?Wiggum: Uh... yeah! That's just what it is, a bust!
- Title Drop: "I love Lisa Simpson!"
- You Don't Want to Know: Variation, in regards to Bart's plan to make sure Lisa doesn't have to go to the Krusty show with Ralph:Bart: I'll go, disguised as you.Lisa: What if he wants to hold hands?Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.Lisa: What if he wants a kiss?Bart: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.Lisa: What if he—