Airdate - March 17, 2002

Homer finds out he has an overdue library book. Before he returns it he reads three stories from it; the stories of [[Literature/TheOdyssey Odysseus]], JoanOfArc, and Theatre/{{Hamlet}}.
* AbnormalAmmo: Lisa suggested the French army use bigger soldiers in their catapults, or better yet, rocks. The soldier who was about to be fired doesn't know how to feel.
* BagOfKidnapping: Just as Lisa [[TemptingFate says she can't be stopped]], Groundskeeper Willy puts her in a bag.
* BalefulPolymorph: Homer's crew are turned into pigs by Circe (the Greek sorceress who turned those who offended her -- mostly men -- into animals). He eats them.
* CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys: When Lisa tells the family that God told her to lead the French to victory, Homer remarks "Victory? We're French! We don't even have a word for it!!"
* DancePartyEnding
* DidntThinkThisThrough: During the trial, God admits he told Lisa and Willie that he told them to fight their respective nations with him on their side, but never anticipated that they'd meet in person, prompting him to say [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere "Goodbye, now!"]] and leave.
* INeverSaidItWasPoison / LameRhymeDodge: "I didn't use that much poison! I mean, I didn't use that much poi, son! At the... royal luau."
* TheOphelia: Lisa's only appearance in the ''Hamlet'' segment.
-->'''Lisa:''' Ah, great. Now Hamlet's acting crazy. Well nobody outcrazies Ophelia.
* ShoutOut:
-->'''Homer:''' Son. It's not only a great play [{{Hamlet}}]. But also became a great movie. Called Film/{{Ghostbusters}}.
* SomethingCompletelyDifferent: Another ThreeShorts episode that isn't a Halloween episode (see "Simpsons Bible Stories").
* StealthPun: Homer sailing on the river Music/{{Styx}}, which has "Lady" blasting and skeletons rocking out.
-->'''Homer:''' [[TakeThat Oh, it truly is Hell!]]