Airdate: Monday, September 8, 2003
Sender: Steve Buttz
Strong Bad: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...a-da sbemail.
Steve "Never mind, I'm not even gonna touch that one" wants to know if Strong Bad has ever written a children's book, along with what it was about, and if Strong Bad tried to teach the kids any new words.
Strong Bad: Yeah, I wrote a children's book. Who hasn't? I mean, kids can barely read as it is so how hard can it be to write for them?
Strong Bad shows off Everyone Is Different, which is clearly an old book on diversity by Lem Sportsinterviews that Strong Bad doodled over and defaced, turning what were once innocent pictures of different children at play into all sorts of random and deadly situations.
- "Some people are about to be run over. Frankie has about five seconds."
- "Some people are very tall and merciless. Quincy is destroying San Antonio."
- "Some people wears glasses. Beth looks like a dude.
- "Some people are squirrel-handed. Gregor is a weird name."
- "Some people have braces. Some people have headgear. Fran could play linebacker for the Raiders."
- "Some people have rigged the enemy base with explosives. Albert has."
- "Some people have a Southern accent, and those are hot. Trisha is a severe hottie."
- "Some people are being fangoriously devoured by a gelatinous monster. Hillary's legs are being digested."
- "Everyone is different. No two people are not on fire. Awww..."
Strong Bad: So there's my book. Pretty good, eh Steve? And the words that we taught the kids were, uh, "fangoriously", "gelatinous", and um... "linebacker". You know, education at its finest. Well, some people need to go get an ice cream sandwich. Strong Bad needs to go get an ice cream sandwich. (gets up and leaves)
(The Paper comes down)
(The Paper comes down)
Tropes:
- Ambiguous Gender: Strong Bad remarks that a bespectacled girl named Beth "looks like a dude."
- Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: "Some people are very tall and merciless. Quincy is destroying San Antonio."
- Blatant Lies: Strong Bad "wrote" Everyone Is Different.
- Blob Monster: Strong Bad draws Hillary as being devoured by "a gelatinous monster".
- Braces of Orthodontic Overkill: Fran, one of the kids in Everyone Is Different, has both headgear and braces.
- Call-Back: Everyone Is Different was originally by Leomard Sportsinterviews, first mentioned as the author of This Book Is Better Than 1st, 2nd, and Quite Possibly Even 3rd Base in studying. This is far from Lem's only other appearance.
- Captain Obvious: On Albert's page, Strong Bad has drawn a man flying out of a detonated enemy base screaming "AHH! i'M BEiNG KiLLED!!"
- Creator Cameo: Strong Bad draws himself next to Trisha saying "hiya hotcakes."
- Cute Bruiser: "Some people have braces. Some people have headgear. Fran could play linebacker for the Raiders."
- Incendiary Exponent: "Everyone is different. No two people are not on fire. Awwwww."
- Lady Looks Like a Dude: As Strong Bad's narration puts it, "Beth looks like a dude."
- Mythology Gag: An Easter Egg features a defaced version of The Homestar Runner Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest.Everybody throws shot puts at the Homestar Runner. He is bleeding pretty bad.
- Perfectly Cromulent Word: Strong Bad describes one kid as being "fangoriously" devoured.
- Southern Belle: "Some people have a Southern accent, and those are hot. Trisha is a severe hottie."
- Stuff Blowing Up: "Some people have rigged the enemy base with explosives. Albert has."
- Subverted Kids' Show: In the style of a book. "Some people are about to be run over. Frankie has about 5 seconds."
- Unfortunate Names: On reading the sender's last name, Strong Bad quips "Never mind, I'm not even gonna touch that one."
- You Are Fat: Strong Bad suggests that Fran, who is heavyset, could play linebacker for the Raiders. Later on, Strong Bad mumbles "linebacker" when mentioning words used to teach the kids.
Strong Bad: (DVD version only) (reading an extra hidden page picturing Eh! Steve) Some people are named "Eh! Steve". Eh! Steve is not exactly a person.
The Wheelchair: (reading the now-defaced page, depicting itself preparing to ensnare Eh! Steve in a rope trap) Some people are talkin' wheelchairs. Eh! Steve will get what he deseeeerrrrrrves!