Recap / Star Trek Deep Space Nine S 03 E 03 The House Of Quark
Quark gets married like a warrior.
A drunken Klingon attacks Quark but is accidentally killed with his own knife. Quark plays up the story to imply that he defeated the Klingon in battle, but when members of the Klingon's family show up, he finds himself abducted and married to the man's widow.


  • Amicably Divorced: Grilka ritually slaps Quark and spits on him to signal the divorce. But then they part amicably.
  • Batman Gambit: How Quark gets out of having to fight a duel with D'Ghor. Instead of attempting to put up a fight, he throws away his weapon, pointing out that him against D'Ghor is basically an execution anyway. By refusing to fight, he removes all pretense of D'Ghor defeating him in 'honorable combat'. When D'Ghor attempts to kill him anyways, Gowron summarily rules against him.
  • Belligerent Sexual Tension: Mostly one-sided, as Grilka has no love for this weak Ferengi she has to marry in order to keep her House safe from D'Ghor's treachery. But by the episode's end, Grilka is genuinely grateful for what Quark did and recognizes Quark's bravery in coming back to fight for her (House's) honor.
  • Big Ol' Eyebrows: Grilka has some downright impressive eyebrows.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: What is expected to happen between a Ferengi who barely passes the chest of a Klingon warrior. Quark, knowing this, takes a third option.
  • Dirty Coward: D'Ghor. No respectable Klingon uses money to defeat his opponents. And no respectable Klingon would be so eager to perform an execution of an unarmed Ferengi in what was supposed to be an honorable duel.
    • Averted with Quark- despite his reputation as a Ferengi, and thus as people who would rather wheel and deal, or outright run- Quark uses this reputation to stand up to D'Ghor and deliver one of the best "The Reason You Suck Speeches" in Star Trek.
  • Even Klingons Have Standards: Dueling is perfectly fine, but using money to achieve one's aims is a step too far for the Klingons.
  • Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: More like "D'Ghor was so busy acting like a Ferengi he forgot about Klingon codes of honor."
  • Good with Numbers: Quark's business mind is able to piece together how D'Ghor has been attacking Grilka's lands by financial means.
    • Averted with the Klingons- well, most of them (D'Ghor obviously an exception). Watching Quark attempting to explain profits to them is hilarious. At least one turns the Ferengi PADD sideways in an attempt to understand it.
  • Irony: Quark - A Ferengi - outwits and bests D'Ghor - A Klingon who had become as Greedy as Ferengis are known to be - by being better at having a Klingon sense of Honor.
  • Out-Gambitted: D'Ghor plots to use Quark's embellished tale of Kozak's death as justification he died in honorable combat. This would deny Grilka's claim for special dispensation that would allow her to rule the house despite being a woman. Grilka then uses that fact to marry Quark under a ritual that would keep her house from becoming dead.
    Grilka: All I have done is follow the brek'tal ritual. If the leader of a House is slain in honourable combat, the victor may be invited to take his place and his wife. You're the one who made this possible, D'Ghor. You certified before the Council that Kozak died an honourable death at the hands of this man. I am simply exercising my rights as an honoured widow.
  • Put On A Runabout: Keiko is forced to close the school as all the other families have relocated to Bajor due to the Dominion threat. O'Brien is able to pull strings to get her assigned to an agrobiology expedition.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: Gowron shows his good side by listening to Quark's claim, seeing D'Ghor's murder of a defenseless man for the cowardice it is, and will grant Grilka the special dispensation she sought.
    • His facial expression also suggests even he knows this whole incident is crazy and best left hand-waved off.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Quark gives a grilling one to his would-be executioner.
    Quark: Go ahead, kill me. That's why I'm here, isn't it, to be killed? Well, here I am, so go ahead and do it. You all want me to pick up that sword and try to fight him, don't you? But I don't have a chance and you know it. You only want me to put up a fight so your precious honour will be satisfied. Well, I'm not going to make it so easy for you. Having me fight D'Ghor is nothing more than an execution, so, if that's what you want, that's what you'll get. An execution. No honour, no glory. And when you tell your children and your grandchildren the glorious story of how you rose to power and took Grilka's House from her, I hope you remember to tell them how you heroically killed an unarmed Ferengi- (whispers) half your size.
  • Slap-Slap-Kiss: There's no kiss at the end and tons of slapping otherwise, but Grilka is affectionately grateful to Quark for his defense of her House.
  • Take a Third Option: Quark is forced into a duel of honor with D'Ghor, which would end either with him killing D'Ghor (very unlikely), or with D'Ghor killing him (quite likely). However, Quark comes up with a solution where he manages to point out the hypocrisy of the Klingon honor code without needing to fight at all.