'''Airdate: August 7, 1999'''

Squidward's genius plan worked! While [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick were blowing bubbles to communicate, Squidward interfered by blowing his own insults at them, causing them to fight. Now they're not even friends anymore! Meanwhile, Spongebob and Patrick separately perform acts for Squidward that earn his gratitude and 'friendship'. But what's this? The two are fighting over Squidward now?

!!Naughty Nautical Neighbors tropes include:

%%* AlliterativeTitle
* ArsonMurderAndJaywalking:
--> '''Spongebob:''' My best friend, my ex best friend, and...RUBBER BATH TOYS!
* BareHandedPuppetry: After breaking up with Patrick, [=SpongeBob=] tries to think of three other friends. When he can't think of any, he draws smiley faces on the three fingers he's holding up and sadly entones "The gang's all here."
* BecauseYouWereNiceToMe: Subverted twice. First, Patrick made friends with Squidward after performing CPR to get the fork out of his throat just until he fell asleep while Squidward was playing his clarinet in which he tries dragging him out of his house, throwing out his back on the process. This causes [=SpongeBob=] to ram his head on Squidward's back, putting him back to normal. The two are friends until [=SpongeBob=] breaks his double bass which prompts Squidward to literally kick him out of his house. Of course, this didn't stop [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick from fighting over Squidward.
* CloseUpOnHead: At first it appears that [=SpongeBob=] has impaled Squidward on the head with a double bass bow, but the camera pulls back to show that it was just a portrait of Squidward (which already had a scared expression for some reason).
* CPRCleanPrettyReliable: Patrick does CPR on Squidward by inflating him like a balloon and letting the air push the fork out of his mouth. He also mentions needing to wash his hands first, but then shrugs it off.
* CrackOhMyBack: Squidward sprains his back dragging Patrick out of his home. He shouts it again when his door falls on him at the end.
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: When [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick argue.
-->'''Patrick:''' Hey, you're a turkey!\\
'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' What's that?\\
'''Patrick:''' It's what you are!\\
'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' Yeah? Well, you're a bigger one!\\
'''Patrick:''' Well, you're still yellow! And you know what else is yellow?\\
'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' What?\\
'''Patrick:''' You are!
* DinnerDeformation: The fork that Squidward accidentally swallows is clearly seen sticking through his neck.
* FeudEpisode: The very first one between [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick.
* HighPressureEmotion: After [=SpongeBob=] smashed the bassinet due to Patrick interrupting his song, Squidward is shown to have red in the face and has steam erupting from his head, along with the kettle whistle sound effect, before kicking [=SpongeBob=] out of his house.
* IfIHadANickel:
-->'''Squidward (while pretending to sound like Patrick):''' "If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar."
* LaserGuidedKarma: Squidward's attempt to ruin [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick's day ends up getting his house destroyed, as well as the door crushing him.
* ManipulativeBastard: Squidward.
* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: Squidward's look on his face is quite noticeable when hiding from [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick, due to them fighting over him, causing him to find a way to fix their relationship.
* NapInducingSpeak: Squidward's clarinet playing puts Patrick to sleep after ''one'' note.
* NoYou: Most of [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick's arguments revolve around this.
* PassThePopcorn: Squidward watches [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick argue while sitting in a lounge chair and eating a souffle.
* StuffedIntoATrashcan: Squidward hides in his own trashcan to escape [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick's bickering from his house.
* TemporaryBulkChange: [=SpongeBob=] and Patrick get bloated from drinking too much soda. They are back to normal once they burp it all out.
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'''Airdate: August 7, 1999'''

Another day at Boating School means another day with [=SpongeBob=] for Mrs. Puff, his Boating School teacher. Unfortunately, [=SpongeBob=] might just be her eternal burden, because as it stands, he's never going to pass his driver's test.

!!Boating School tropes include:

* ActingUnnatural: For [=SpongeBob=], acting natural apparently means acting like a cow.
* BigNo: As Mrs. Puff is being put on an ambulance, [=SpongeBob=] assures her that he'll try harder next year. She yells "NO!" as the ambulance drives away.
* BigWhy: Mrs. Puff each time [=SpongeBob=] fails the test.
* ButtMonkey: Mrs. Puff.
* ClothingSwitch: Patrick tries on [=SpongeBob's=] clothes.
-->What's pink and square at the same time? Patrick [=SquarePants=]!
* DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment: "I am confident in my abilities to successfully succeed."
* EarpieceConversation: Patrick coaches [=SpongeBob=] through his boating test by a walkie-talkie hidden under a cowboy hat. Mrs. Puff compliments [=SpongeBob=] on his improvement, joking that it's as if someone were telling him all the answers. But when she mentions that that would be cheating, [=SpongeBob=] freaks out and confesses... and crashes the boat, failing the test once again.
* EarlyInstallmentWeirdness: This is the most competent Patrick has been in any episode. He even had to talk Spongebob out of being dumb.
* LarynxDissonance: Mrs. Puff's voice deepens significantly when she inflates.
* GeniusDitz: Spongebob knows all the answers to the verbal test, he just gets nervous and floors it when he's behind the wheel.
* ItSeemedLikeAGoodIdeaAtTheTime: [=SpongeBob=] having Patrick help him out with an EarpieceConversation to pass his boating exam seemed like a clever idea...until Mrs. Puff mentioned that situation would be cheating.
* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: [=SpongeBob=]'s reaction when he realizes that what Patrick is telling him is cheating. It causes him to fail the test. Again.
* OverlyLongGag: Patrick going "Testing" over and over into his walkie talkie, waiting for Spongebob to respond, eventually [[SuddenlyShouting starting to scream it]].
* StaggeredZoom: When [=SpongeBob=] realizes he's cheating.
* WhamLine: "That would be cheating!"
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