main index




Topical Tropes

Other Categories

TV Tropes Org
Kickstarter Message
TV Tropes Needs Your Help
Big things are happening on TV Tropes! New admins, new designs, fewer ads, mobile versions, beta testing opportunities, thematic discovery engine, fun trope tools and toys, and much more - Learn how to help here and discuss here.
View Kickstarter Project
Recap: Mystery Science Theater 3000 S 05 E 03 Swamp Diamonds
Films watched: What To Do On A Date (short) and Swamp Women aka Swamp Diamonds

Joel and the bots were less than impressed with Connors' pseudonym "Touch", which was his nickname when he played NCAA basketball.

What To Do On A Date is a 1950s educational short which attempted to teach... socially awkward teens of the time activites they could invite girls on dates to: exciting events like swim meets, weenie roasts and "scavenger sales".

The MST3K treatment of Swamp Diamonds provides examples of:

  • The Long List: All the names "Touch" Connors might have taken:
    Thrust, Jab, Fudge, Crunch, Blast, Smidge, Shout, Batch, Scrod, Flake, Wink, Sploot, Pinch, Probe, Wing, Snake, Jab [again?], Grunt, Flink, Branch, Snake [again!] Pitch, Pat, Hal, Snake [yet AGAIN!], Snack, Slap
  • Running Gag:
    • Referencing Phil Harris, Curt Gowdy, The Gun In Betty Lous Handbag, etc.
    • Servo's narration during the many, many tracking shots of the swamp from the boat: "As we left the clam flowage that day..."
  • Sophisticated as Hell: Invoked by Servo at Vera's Even Evil Has Standards moment:
    Vera: Nice kid! Sell her man right down the river!
    Servo (in bad New Jersey accent): Yeah, some women have no class!
  • Take That: The Andrew Lloyd Weber [sic] grill, useful for burning Mr. Webber's scores.

The MST3K treatment of What To Do On A Date provides examples of:

"Sssshhhut up!"
Mystery Science Theater 3000 S 05 E 02 HerculesRecap/Mystery Science Theater 3000 Mystery Science Theater 3000 S 05 E 04 Secret Agent Super Dragon

TV Tropes by TV Tropes Foundation, LLC is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available from
Privacy Policy