Charles dictates a letter home to his parents, begging them to get him home while reporting on the camp's antics to build his case. Hawkeye gets an invitation for a night of debauchery with a nurse in Seoul. Klinger tries faking fainting spells to get a discharge.
Attention, all personnel! Major Winchester's recorded letter contains the following tropes:
- Actually Pretty Funny: Charles chuckles at Klinger's joke about the quality of the food in camp:Charles: Klinger, you are really full of it.Klinger: We are what we eat, sir.
- Agony of the Feet: Charles mentions contemplating shooting himself in the foot, but changes his mind after remembering how much he enjoys the Debutantes' Cotillion.
- Analogy Backfire: While explaining how a patient should tell his pills apart, Radar uses the alphabet, his pain pills being purple. It breaks down when he tries the same with sleeping pills - "W for sleep".
- Apology Gift: To allegedly make up for being snippy with Radar in post-op, Winchester brings him a case of grape Nehi. It really serves as a bribe in order to get Radar contact Winchester's former commanding officer to get him transferred back to Tokyo General Hospital. When Radar refuses, Winchester takes the case back. And then he takes the one bottle that Radar had opened.
- Bribe Backfire: To take the Officer of the Day duty blocking Hawkeye's weekend away, he offers to compensate Winchester for a recent investment loss. Then he finds out it's four thousand dollars.note
- Brick Joke: In one scene we see B.J. inexplicably cleaning a rubber chicken. At the end of the episode, Winchester finds the chicken jammed in his teapot as a prank.
- Chekhov's Gun: B.J. is seen brushing a rubber chicken in the Swap during the trouser-swap sequence. It later shows up in Winchester's teapot.
- Description Cut: While Charles complains about the weather being too cold or too hot, the scene cuts to enlisted men warming themselves at a brazier and Klinger mopping his brow with a handkerchief.
- Do Wrong, Right: Charles corrects Klinger on how to faint correctly as part of his new discharge ploy.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: Charles mentions a nephew Felix who is being discharged on medical grounds. He is never mentioned again, nor is it clarified whether Charles' sister (and only mentioned sibling to survive to adulthood) Honoria is Felix's mother.
- Everyone Has Standards: Klinger may be faking fainting spells to try and get out of the army, but he won't let that interfere with the treatment of wounded (because if he did, people would die). This is shown when he enters the OR to proclaim that there are no more wounded, and promptly "faints."
- Fake Faint: Attempted by one Corporal Max "I-want-outta-this-rotten-stinking-Army" Klinger.note After hearing the usual symptoms preceding a faint, Klinger promptly emulates them. Winchester, not at all impressed, proceeds to correct Klinger by telling him that people usually fall forward when they faint. Klinger recovers, says that he was just testing, and promptly does it again.
- Fun with Acronyms: Instead of "Officer of the Day", Winchester turns OD into "Odious Duty".
- Genius Bonus: When B.J. is preparing his prank, Hawkeye sees Charles coming and says, "Clap hands, here comes Charley!" This was the title of a popular song
from the 1930s that, while little remembered now, would have been well known to the characters at the time the show was set. - I Need to Go Iron My Dog: After asking who Potter was painting, while Winchester was right in front of him, Radar suddenly remembers he has to polish Potter's horse.
- Mood Whiplash: Margaret goes from complimenting and flirting with Winchester to snapping at him after Father Mulcahy walks in.
- Playing Sick: After learning that one of Winchester's relatives has been discharged for fainting spells, Klinger decides to try it out.
- Reassigned to Antarctica: After Klinger pretends to faint at the end of an O.R. session, Potter threatens to transfer him to the front.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!:
- Crossing over with Screw the Rules, I Have Money!. Charles begs his father to talk to Senator Griswold to help get him out of Korea: "After all, you paid good money for him."
- After striking out with Winchester, Radar has Hawkeye hold a patient back so he can go home with his friend.
- Skewed Priorities: Charles is ranting to Colonel Potter about how the Colonel hasn't tried to get him transferred out of the 4077th. Potter's main priority is that he's out of umber so Charles needs to stop changing the color of his face while he's yelling.
- Sophisticated as Hell: After finding B.J. stuffed a rubber chicken in his teapot, Charles ends his tape to his parents with, "Get me the hell out of here!" after speaking very formally up until then.
- Troll: B.J. pranks Charles by replacing his uniform first with one that is far too large to make it look like he's losing weight, causing Charles to start eating more. That of course leads up to a uniform that is too small and making it look like Charles has put on too much weight. Finally, Hawkeye asks what would be coming after that and B.J.'s response is, "Starting tomorrow, he gets taller."
- Voiceover Letter: Charles' dictation of his letter serves as a voiceover for some scenes.
- Yank the Dog's Chain: Once again Hawkeye is making preparations for R&R and every time he's about to leave, more wounded are brought in. When the wounded finally stop coming, he's far too tired to go and falls asleep.
