Judoon platoon upon the moon!
The Doctor
A medical student named Martha Jones heads off to a regular day at work, and a strange man (The Doctor) comes up to her in the street, says "Like so!", and takes his tie off. Martha, only mildly perplexed, continues to the hospital, where she encounters the same man, calling himself "John Smith". He's been in the hospital all day and has no idea what she's talking about. To top it off, the mysterious John Smith has two hearts. Then it starts to rain upwards, and the hospital ends up on the moon. The Doctor decides that Martha, being unperplexed by his two hearts (unlike
some companions) and not flipping out over being on the moon, is exactly the sort of person he could use for help, so he enlists her in the task of saving the hospital.
Meanwhile, a herd of rhino-alien-police (Judoon) enter the hospital and begin to methodically search it for alien life, so the Doctor needs to find the malicious alien and keep himself out of rhino hands, all before the hospital's supply of oxygen runs out.
The alien in question is an old granny, a humanoid plasmavore, who is wanted for murder and has devised a plan to save herself that will kill the human population (only the half facing the moon, anyway). She imparts this plan in detail to mild-mannered "John Smith" and then drinks his blood, because if she drinks the blood of a human, the rhinos will think she's human. Also, to distract the rhinos for a while, the Doctor puts some of his own alien bio-bits on Martha by snogging her. No complaints from Martha.
Martha finds the plasmavore just as she drains the Doctor dry, which, unbeknownst to the plasmavore, renders her decidedly alien on any bio-scan. The Rhinos kill the plasmavore and Martha revives the Doctor, just in time for him to reverse the doomsday CT scan and save humanity. In return for saving his life, the Doctor offers Martha a quick tour of the galaxy in his TARDIS. She refuses at first, but then, in response her question of how he would prove that the TARDIS can travel through time, he steps into the TARDIS, disappears, and reappears with his tie off. See first sentence.
The Doctor promises her one little trip, just for fun, and they awkwardly agree that she's
not there to replace Rose. Also, Martha's only attracted to humans. With those negotiations over with, they're on their way.
Tropes:
- Arc Words: There's "Vote Saxon" signs in the alley at the end, and Mr. Saxon gets name-dropped.
- Almost Out of Oxygen: The force-field keeps a certain amount of air in, but it starts running out quickly. Thankfully, the Judoon aren't completely merciless and teleport the hospital back once they're done.
- Assimilation Backfire: Finnegan drinks human blood so the Judoon would think she is a human when bio-scanned. The Doctor tricks her into drinking his blood, thus making her look like an alien through the bio-scanner, albeit a different one than she actually is.
- Brick Joke: Oh, so that's why he said "Like so!"
- Comically Missing the Point
"You're completely mad."
"You're right. I look daft with one shoe." (puts the other one in the trash) "Barefoot on the moon!"
- CPR Clean Pretty Reliable: Apparently CPR will fix clinical death brought on by blood loss in non-humans.
- Considering how little we know abound Time Lord biology, This could be true.
- Disproportionate Retribution: As Oliver Morgenstern is telling terrified patients to cooperate with the Judoon as they scan everyone looking for the Plasmavore, one patient grabs a vase and smashes it over another Judoon.
Judoon Captain: Witness: a crime. Charge: physical assault. Plea: Guilty. Sentence: execution. [vaporizes the man on the spot]
- Eat Me
- Foreshadowing: The Doctor shakes off fatal levels of radiation with surprising ease. Doesn't go so well the second time. Granted, there's a huge difference in how much he's exposed to the next time it happens.
- Getting Crap Past the Radar: "It's a Slab, basic slave drone. Solid leather, all the way through. Someone has got one hell of a fetish."
- Hell-Bent for Leather: Parodied with the Slabs, androids composed entirely of leather. Played more straight with the Judoon however.
- Hollywood Midlife Crisis: Clive Jones seems to be in the middle of one. He's about to turn 50, recently-divorced, and sporting a brand new car and a 21-year-old girlfriend the script compares to a Big-Brother eviction night.
- Impostor Exposing Test: The Judoon have scanners which can distinguish humans from non-humans, which they try to use to find a plasmavore criminal hiding in a hospital. The plasmavore is able to change its physiology by drinking blood, and tries to use that to beat the test; however, the Doctor tricks it into feeding on him. Since he's a Time Lord, the scanners identify the plasmavore as non-human and kill it.
- Improbable Weapon User: Florence Finnegan's method of sucking blood is to use a bendy straw! And then an MRI machine which will fry the half of the Earth facing the moon.
- The Doctor kills a Slab with an x-ray machine by increasing the radiation output to fatal levels.
- Judge, Jury, and Executioner: The Judoon do this role when one guy tries assaulting one of them with a vase. "Justice is swift".
- Meaningful Echo: Martha Jones is exuding so much calm confidence that she promises the Doctor that she will get him home. These are usually the Doctor's exact words; he looks slightly non-plussed.
Martha: I promise you, Mr. Smith, we'll find a way out.
- Meaningful Name: There's a "Dr Stoker", who's the first onscreen victim of the blood-sucking Plasmavore.
- Midlife Crisis Car: Rusty's script describes Clive's car as "very much midlife crisis".
- Mundane Utility: "Crossing into established time streams is strictly forbidden. Except for cheap tricks."
- Noodle Incident:
"It's a screwdriver and it's...sonic."
"What else have you got? Laser spanner?"
"I did, but it was stolen by Emmeline Pankhurst. Cheeky woman."
- Personal Raincloud: Referenced - the cloud over the hospital just before the teleport is compared to one.
- Retirony: Dr. Stoker says he was planning to go on for two more years and then retire to Florida. Then he cements his fate with a version of the Fatal Family Photo, saying that he has a daughter still attending the university.
- Rhymes on a Dime: Gotta love that "Judoon platoon upon the moon" joke.
- Sad Clown: "You're quite a funny man - and yet, I think, laughing on purpose at the darkness. Time you had some peace."
- Steal The Surroundings: An entire building was transported to the moon so the Monster of the Week can locate a single person.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: You are not a Replacement Goldfish, Martha Jones!
- Thanatos Gambit: The Doctor allows the Plasmavore to feed on him so that she will register as an alien to the Judoon's scanners.
- Wham Line: A sneaky one when Martha asks the Doctor if he's got a brother, and he replies — "no, not anymore, just me". The Doctor's brother, Braxiatel, is a major character in the Doctor Who Expanded Universe stories (specifically in the Bernice Summerfield stories and in the Gallifrey audios) taking place before the end of the Time War.
- You Are Who You Eat: The Plasmavore.
- You Look Familiar: What's that, Martha, you weren't upgraded by the Cybermen at Canary Wharf? It was your cousin Adeola Oshodi?
- And for older viewers, the actress for the Plasmavore previously played a nurse who was attacked by the similarly vampiric Haemovores in The Curse of Fenric. We are given no clues as to whether the two are linked though.
