Sword and the City
Piper is trying to unclog a sink, when a woman's face appears above the water, asking for help. The sisters orb to a pond and a woman emerges, bearing a large sword. Several demons appear, and one throws a knife, hitting the woman in the back. The sisters fight off the demons and find the sword embedded in a large stone. Paige believes the sword is Excalibur, but Piper is sceptical.
Phoebe checks the Book of Shadows and can find nothing on the sword, but finds a page on Executioner Demons and the page on the Dark Knight. Paige tries to pull the sword from the stone, but can't.
The Dark Knight threatens a mercenary demon, who tells him that the Charmed Ones attacked. He wants "a seat at the table" as his price for hiring more assassins to take out the Charmed Ones. A large round table with a pentagram stands nearby. Paige's new temporary job is as Phoebe's assistant.
A line of magical beings has walked into the manor and is trying, one by one, to pull the sword from the stone. Piper tries to run them off, and calls for Chris, but Leo responds instead. Leo fetches Phoebe and Paige. Finally, Piper gets angry and grabs the sword — and it comes out. A man calling himself Mordaunt appears in a vortex and tells Piper she is now the master of Excalibur.
Mordaunt tells the sister what he knows of the Dark Knight and suggests a vanquishing potion. He offers to teach Piper the use of Excalibur. Leo orbs Wyatt "Up There" while Mordaunt produces a sword and begins sparring with Piper.
In the demon's lair they discuss their action. An executioner demon brings in a sack which is revealed to contain a dwarf. They question him about the sword and what he knows. The dwarf informs them that Piper has the sword now and is being trained to use it. The demon demands to know who is training her. The dwarf motions he doesn't know. However, he then punches the executioner demon in his testicles, who lets go of him to grab his balls, the dwarf then escapes zipping out.
Phoebe, Paige, and Richard make the vanquishing potion at Richard's place. The Dark Knight and three demons shimmer into the manor. Piper fights the Dark Knight while Mordaunt takes on the three underlings.
At Richard's place, Phoebe and Paige are continuing with the potion. Phoebe is about to add black poppy when Richard yells "NO!" and, through telekinesis, pulls Phoebe away. Phoebe has been mistrustful of Richard, but he then tosses the black poppy in, causing an explosion. Richard says, "Don't ever mix wraith essence and black poppy". He, Phoebe and Paige realize that Mordaunt wants them dead.
More demons attack, but Piper and Mordaunt kill the last of them. Paige and Phoebe orb in and try to warn Piper, but she and Mordaunt fade away — to the Round Table with the pentagram. Mordaunt promises Piper great power, and kisses her. He reaches for Excalibur, but it evades his grasp. Piper and Mordaunt have gathered several demons to the round table. They offer a loyalty oath and the demons all explode, their powers transferred to Mordaunt. Mordaunt claims Excalibur from Piper. He tells Piper that Wyatt was the true owner of Excalibur, and impales Piper with Excalibur.
As Leo heals Piper, Mordaunt shimmers into the manor and tries to stab Wyatt with Excalibur — but it's only a teddy bear. Paige orbs back in with Wyatt, and Leo with Piper and Phoebe. Wyatt orbs Excalibur to himself, and he hurls it back into Mordaunt, vanquishing him.
Piper puts Excalibur back into the stone, and Paige orbs it to the attic until Wyatt is old enough to use it. Leo also fixes all the things wrong in the house for Piper, leaving her more time to spend with Wyatt.
Tropes:
- Arbitrary Skepticism: Piper is immediately skeptical that the stuff of Arthurian legend is indeed quite real, even with the sword in the stone literally in her house. She insists she gave up believing any of this was real when she was a child. Paige chastises this attitude, saying Piper is not just a witch but recently faced a dragon.
- Big Bad Wannabe: The Dark Knight dreams of using a corrupted Excalibur to take over the Underworld and, for all intents and purposes, become a new Source.
- Continuity Snarl: Mordaunt claims Merlin was just a myth, but the Wizard said he was a real person, albeit overrated as a wizard. Of course, Mordaunt could just be lying.
- Dragon with an Agenda:
- The head Executioner Demon wants a seat at the table (literally and figuratively) for ensuring that the Dark Knight is able to claim Excalibur.
- Mordaunt acts as Piper's trainer and advisor, but he's actually looking for an opportunity to steal Excalibur for himself.
- Excalibur in the Stone: The episode features Excalibur as being protected by the Lady in the Lake and gets stuck in a stone afterwards. Piper gets Drunk with Power by wielding it, believing herself to be the new King Arthur of sorts, but it turns out she's supposed to be its new guardian, being more like a new Lady of the Lake, and that it's Wyatt who's supposed to use it.
- Groin Attack: The dwarf does this to a demon to get the demon to let him go.
- Hired Guns: The Executioner Demons are grunts that hire themselves out to more powerful Underworld figures. Payment is apparently decided based on the skill level required to overcome the given opposition.
- Not So Above It All: Even Leo is tempted to see if he can pull the sword from the stone.
- Oh, Crap!: Piper's literal response after pulling Excalibur from the stone.
- Only the Chosen May Wield: Played With. In this version, anyone can wield Excalibur, but it will corrupt anyone but its destined master. The sisters, sent to help the Lady of the Lake, arrive just in time for her to put it in a stone before being killed. Piper is able to draw it out, making her believe that she's its new master...except no, it makes her start turning evil. It turns out that Wyatt is the sword's real master; Piper can draw it out because she's the new Lady of the Lake, meant to give it to him when he's older.
- Sleeping Dummy: Mordaunt attempts to kill Wyatt in his crib by stabbing him with Excalibur, but the sisters have put one of Wyatt's teddy bears under the blanket as a decoy.
- Treacherous Advisor: Mordaunt, as in the original myth.
- Written-In Absence: Piper calls for Chris, but Leo orbs in instead. According to Leo, Chris is busy elsewhere.
