Recap: Blackadder S 1 E 4 The Queen Of Spains Beard
With kingdoms all over Europe joining forces and waging wars with each other, Britain needs to find a new ally quickly. The best way of doing this, of course, is through an arranged marriage. Unfortunately, the only heir to the throne, Prince Harry, has already been engaged to several princesses. With no way to forge a new alliance, all hope seems lost for the House of York...Wait, the king has another son?!With another prince, another alliance is made possible. The royal officials quickly make plans for wedding between Edmund Blackadder, Duke of Edinburgh, with the Spanish Infanta. Only as it turns out, the deal might not be as beneficial to Edmund as it seemed...
- Abhorrent Admirer: The Infanta isn't exactly what the tales made her out to be, to say the least.
- All for Nothing: Baldrick succeeds in bedding the Infanta...except it turns out she already wasn't a virgin, and anyway, only one of them has to be one for the marriage to be valid.
- Arranged Marriage: Edmund and the Infanta, then and Edmund and Leia. Oh, and Harry and nearly every other princess (and one prince) in Europe.
- Bed Trick: Baldrick goes to the Infanta letting her believe he's Edmund, in order to see to it she's not a virgin.
- Bestiality Is Depraved: The Queen reveals an embarrassing habit of Englishmen while chatting with the Infanta."Well, they spend most of their time with animals, you know, and with other men."
- Camp Gay: The Earl of Doncaster, apparently.
- The Casanova: Harry.
- Fake-Out Make-Out: Edmund tries to feign homosexuality, with predictable results.
- A Man Is Not a Virgin: Averted, unfortunately for Edmund. Having sex with any random woman who happens by would get him out of marrying the Infanta, but sadly that's impossible since Edmund is just that repugnant.
- May-December Romance: Edmund ends up with Princess Leia (no, not that Leia!) of Hungary, who is supposedly very young and beautiful. Unfortunately for him, by "young", they meant 8 years old, though no one means this to romance, it's just a political marriage and Edmund seems to view Leia as a younger sister and not a wife.
- Old Man Marrying A Child: Edmund is a good twenty years older than Leia. Played for Laughs, as Leia seems more accepting and eager to get married than he is, and leads him to the altar, with a little skip in her step. Also doubles as a Pet the Dog moment for Edmund, as he is genuinely kind to her. And very much Truth in Television at the time, as royal marriages were typically made for political benefits first, and all other considerations far down the list.
- Pet the Dog: Edmund reading a bedtime story to Princess Leia at the end. On their wedding night, no less.
- Skip to the End: The Infanta urges the priest to hurry the ceremony.
- Sleeping Single: Edmund and Princess Leia, quite sensibly.
- Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace: Twice. Once, when Edmund tries to marry another woman to get out of marrying the Infanta, and her husband objects at the right moment. Then, at his wedding to the Infanta, no one objects.