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Lord Farquaad, the Big Bad. note Though this might be a coincidence — apparently Lord Farquaad was actually named after one of the quads (as in quadrangles) in The University of Notre Dame du Lac, in Indiana, where many of the filmmakers graduated from. Farquaad was named after the quad that was situated furthest away from the main building, i.e. a "far quad". Especially since he's a caricature of then-Disney CEO Michael Eisner.
One memorable Farquaad moment is when he's watching his bride-to-be in the magic mirror while he's in bed (making the mirror rewind, no less), and he peeks under the blanket at his lap, and gets this pleased "Oh my" sort of expression. If you look closely, you can actually see, ahem, part of the blanket move. The same scene shows a rather familiar-looking bear rug on his bedroom floor. One with a bow that we spotted on Mama Bear earlier in the movie.
Yet again, towards the end when Fiona sees Lord Farquaad's castle, there's this bit of dialogue.
And according to the DVD commentary, the above Donkey line used to go FURTHER.
Near the start of the film, Gingy is being tortured by Farquard and his men. By having his legs broken off, one of them being crushed to crumbs, and being dunked upside down in a glass of milk. But it's funny, since he is a cookie.
Also when Shrek goes to save Donkey from the dragon.
Fiona: Where are you going!?
Shrek: I have to save my ass.
Ironically, this bit does not get past the radar on TV airings, where the "ass" part is bleeped out.
A scene ends and the audio starts to fade out when Donkey says "Parfaits may just be the best thing on the whole damn planet."
When the little dolls are singing the 'welcome to DuLoc' song there's this verse: Please keep off of the grass. Shine your shoes, wipe your...[turn around]face.
During "Monsieur Hood"'s song:
Backup singers: What he's really saying is he likes to get-
In the Norwegian and Swedish dubs, when Donkey is being courted by the dragon: "That's sexual harassment!"
Another addition in the Norwegian dub is Donkey exclaiming the equivalent to "Damn".
Near the beginning, when Donkey is being sold, the old woman trying to convince the buyers that Donkey can speak holds his mouth and pretends that he is speaking, saying "I love to talk! I'm the talkiest damn thing you ever saw!" Admittedly it's very difficult to hear what she's saying.
Pinocchio is wearing ladies' underwear (a thong to be exact). The UK version cuts the actual visual of Pinocchio wearing the thong, but the part where he denies it was left in.
When Donkey drinks the potion, he asks Puss if he looks different. He replies "You still look like an ass to me".
The TV show Knights reports Shrek riding a "white bronco" (Donkey as a stallion), a reference to the O.J. Simpson car chase.
During that scene, some knights can be seen giving the headless horseman a DUI test.
When Shrek, Donkey and Puss are being arrested, a knight finds a bag of catnip in Puss' pocket, which he says is not his. The UK version also cuts this part, as apparently, associating catnip with marijuana (or any other illegal drug you can name) is a no-no if the film wants to get a U rating (the PG cut, however, does have that part).
During the final battle, a pig holds onto the Fairy Godmother's leg and peeks up her dress, shouting "I see London, I see France."
Shrek has turned into a handsome human and is being fawned over by three maidens. Two of them try to ease the confused Shrek's tension by rubbing his shoulders. The third complains "I don't have anything to rub."
Additionally, when Puss says Shrek needs to change his clothes, all the girls smile and squee.
The Swedish verion of "Holding Out For A Hero" is a lot more...erotic than the original.
A feverish-hot dream about the man I want...
He has to be strong, he has to be fast, and he has to make me dizzy.
Sometime after midnight, in my hot fantasy...I want that hero who will make my heart race.
Give me a hero! I'm just waiting for the hero who can make me go weak, but it has go quick, and it has to happen now, before the night turns into day.
Shrek the Third
When Shrek hears that Fiona is pregnant, Puss tries to give him The Talk.
Shrek: How did this happen?
Puss: Allow me to explain. You see, when a man has certain feelings for a woman, a powerful urge sweeps over him.
Shrek: I know how it happened. I just can't believe it.
Donkey:(to Puss) How does it happen?
While Donkey, Puss, and Shrek are looking around the high school campus, two young boys come out of a carriage smoking on the inside. The boys were also wobbling around disoriented and joyful.
One of the boys say something like, "Don't burn all my frankincense and myrrh!" Not even sneaking past the radar.
After Shrek finds out about Fiona's pregnancy Puss says
After Shrek and Fiona put their children to bed Shrek asks "So what do we do now?" in a sly voice and they look really slyly at each other, and then the next shot is them sleeping, which is what they actually meant, but you could have thought they planned on doing something else.
Shrek Forever After
When Shrek reads that a true love's kiss can render his contract null and void, Donkey, thinking Shrek wants to kiss him, says "You're gonna have to take me to dinner first".
This scene made it into the trailers, too!
The part where Shrek wants Donkey to track down Fiona (after seeing the Wanted posters). Donkey calls her scent "sweet and delicious" to which Shrek replies that it's his wife he's talking about. Turns out he was talking about the pancakes
At the end when the witches take off on their brooms, one of them can't get hers to start. It turns out she's pulling on Pinocchio's nose, and he's smiling too.
Donkey calling Gingy a "cracker."
When seeing the puppet show at the entrance of Castle Duloc, Gingy gets so shocked that Jelly Beans are dropping to the floor behind him.