"Eh, I calls it like I sees it. Vagina schmagina."
"This is the most depressing thing I've seen since that box of kittens caught fire."
óZephid, referring to the Sad Penguin Enclosure thread.
"Some people do weird things when bored. I myself once wrote a novel."
"Popular music is like an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Classical music is like a season of Lost. You have very different expectations and very different rewards from each.
"The only way to impartially judge which is better at association football is to gather as many Oreos as humanly possible, cover them in lemonade and A1 steak sauce, and then see which team can devour more in a five minute time limit."
"It's just that, in my mind, there's got to be a good dick joke that involves black holes, and something tells me that William Shakespeare is the best person for the job to pen that joke into the annals of literary and cultural history. That's all I'm really saying.
Could Francis Bacon write a dick joke involving black holes? No. He lacked an empirical worldview enhanced by radio telescopes. Shakespeare, though, he's just dastardly enough to pull something off like that. Like Edgar Allan Poe's Eureka, but a play about fey creatures entertaining themselves by fucking up political marriages in Ancient Greece, and scientifically accurate.
To the degree that stage plays can be scientifically accurate, anyway."