Quotes: Zeerust

    open/close all folders 

    fiction 

We are living in the future. I'll tell you how I know
I read it in the paper fifteen years ago
We're all driving in rocket ships and talking with our minds
Wearing turquoise jewelry and standing in soup lines
John Prine, "Living In the Future"

Everything is chrome in the future!
Spongetron, Spongebob Squarepants episode SB-129

The human race, to which so many of my readers belong, has been playing at children's games from the beginning, and will probably do it till the end, which is a nuisance for the few people who grow up. And one of the games to which it is most attached is called, 'Keep tomorrow dark,' and which is also named (by the rustics in Shropshire, I have no doubt) 'Cheat the Prophet.' The players listen very carefully and respectfully to all that the clever men have to say about what is to happen in the next generation. The players then wait until all the clever men are dead, and bury them nicely. Then they go and do something else. That is all. For a race of simple tastes, however, it is great fun.
G. K. Chesterton, The Napoleon of Notting Hill

Any Resemblance To Actual Future Is Purely Coincidental
Futurama title caption, "Forty Percent Leadbelly"

You will BE AMAZED by the INCREDIBLE FUTURE OF 2009 with its jetpacks, flying cars, domed cities, alien monsters and vast electronic superbrains! Where rocketships TRAVEL TO THE STARS and alluring robot girls cater to YOUR EVERY DESIRE! You will GASP AT INCONCEIVABLE MARVELS like mobile telephones, interstate highways, automatic sliding doors, artificial satellites, and weapons of mass destruction!
— Blurb for Plan 7 of 9 from Outer Space

Captain Janeway(discussing the Captain Proton holodeck adventures): This is how you've been spending your free time?
Tom Paris: Well, I've been studying how past generations viewed the future.
Captain Janeway: And?
Tom Paris: Well, it didn't work out quite as black and white as they imagined.
Star Trek: Voyager: "Bride of Chaotica!"

Look at all the great things mankind has achieved on Earth. War, crime, and lawyers have been abolished. Every housewife has an automatic dishwashing robot. Atomic power stations provide safe and efficient energy to billions. Computers are so powerful that only five are needed worldwide. Hunger and famine have been eliminated through the invention of Soylent Green. DDT has wiped out malaria-carrying mosquitoes and those pesky birds that used to crap all over everything. McDonald's franchises can be found everywhere from the Moon to the bottom of the ocean. Why, we were making our first leap into interstellar space by 1990!
Captain Proton and the Planet of Lesbians

Elements of the past and the future, combining to make something not quite as good as either.
The Mighty Boosh, Eels

    real life 

The future ain't what it used to be.
Yogi Berra, Meat Loaf, and others

You can tell when a Hollywood historical film was made by looking at the eye makeup of their leading ladies, and you can tell the date of an old science fiction novel by every word on the page. Nothing dates harder and faster and more strangely than the future.

Comic books and space films share the concept that the future will look like the Bauhaus gone berserk, all straight lines and no color.

Cpt. Webb: Log entry: March 16th, 1980...
Crow: Oh, our old future.
Mystery Science Theater 3000, "The Phantom Planet"

Mike: Diahann Carroll sings something.
Jay: She's okay, the song is horrible...and the, um, elderly Wookie is getting off to it.
Mike: In the virtual reality helmet, which is basically a 1960's hair dryer.
Rich: With a blast shield.
Mike: "With the blast shield down, I can't see anything."
Rich: "How am I supposed to jerk off?"

As the shark lies there, Bond checks out the device on its back, which upon closer inspection appears to be a combination light switch/intercom panel. It even has rabbit ear antennae coming out of it. I hope SPECTRE is prepared for 2009, when sharks transition to digital.

Back to the wedding scene. Now, I'll tell you what really bothers me: It's them GREEN PLASTIC DRUM CYMBALS! Why do they have to have space cymbals? Is it to remind us that we're in the future?

Look, the cymbal goes back to prehistoric times, and you're askin' me to believe that all the way from then up to the last coupla' years they started makin' drum cymbals in transparent green plastic?!

What the hell is all THIS shit? There's metallic sea sponges everywhere, there's titanium rocket jockstraps, headless parrots with bottle caps, floating eyeballs entrapped in glass lids! How is this all happening!? Oh, of course! It's the year 2010!

Nothing says 'yesterday' like something that said 'tomorrow!
James Lileks, Interior Desecrators

That's me; both hands on the keyboard, one foot in the Swing Age. If I could afford it, I'd drive a car with tail fins.
Ben "Gryphon" Hutchins, Gods Willing II: We'll Always Have Boston