Quotes / YouTube Poop

Because Youtube is where the poop is!
-Opening quote

"Mah boi-Will DIE! Koopa Football Players-Will DIE! The Triforce of Courage/Widsom-Will DIE! Squadala!-Will DIE! Kids-Will DIE! Your Parents-Will DIE! Mama Luigi-Will DIE! Your Teacher-Will DIE! Ganon-Will DIE...WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT??!!"
-Various Characters/Ganon

"Snooping as usual, I see!"
-Dr. Robotnik

"Small, medium, large, and... MAMA LUIGI?!"
"Ain't I a little dick, though?"
-Bugs Bunny, "Bugs Bunny Celebrates Christmas in February"

"If I ever captured your companion, I'd be FUCKing him right now"
-Dr. Robotnik, Robotnik, She Wrote

Mah boi, YOU MUST DIE!
A common Poop exchange made by splicing The King, Ganon, and Mario's soundbytes.

"Be polite. Have a crap on everyone you meet."
Kids! You're not important! You're not cool! You're dumb! No one likes you! You have a problem learning how to read! If that makes you feel uncomfortable, THAT'S TOO BAD!. So what do you do? First, you DRINK LIQUOR, then you TOUCH a police officer.
The Angry Video Game Nerd: Here are five things that should've been improved. Number one is gonna be a spellcheck. Let's play teacher and grade this piece of shit. It should've said, 'I hope she made lotsa spaghetti!' Moving on to number two. The second thing in this game that should've been improved would've been a better use of spaghetti. So number three is gonna be better spaghetti.
Mario: It's been one of those days...
AVGN Meets YouTube Poop

"Who lives in an Octorok under your face?
Spongebob Squarepants!
Absorbent and evil and boring is he!
Spongebob Squarepants!
If Triforce of dinner be somethin' ye wish!
Spongebob Squarepants!
Then drop on the floors and DIE like a fish!
Spongebob Squarepants!
—> ''YTP - The King fails at musicals''

"Kids, there's nothing more cool than gold, but if someone tries to touch a single coin in a place or in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's breaking and entering. It's your gold. No one has the right to touch a single coin if you don't want them to, so whaddaya do?! First, ya say 'NOOOOOO!!' Then, ya tally it up! Then, ya pluck my tailfeathers and call me baldy! Then, ya follow the homing device. Then, ya use your tuning fork to get the map out of the ice. Then, ya take care of my nephews. Then, ya quit griping and give me a boost! Then, ya send that junky old boat to Unca Donald. Then, ya name the price and double it, and then, ya check the Junior Woodchucks' Guidebook. Then, ya open all the doors at once. Then, ya throw THE SWITCH! Then, ya search for Darkwing! Then, ya notice the enormous flag. Then, ya pretend Mr. Bushroot is on fire! Then, ya go on a big date! Then, ya get bonked on head by raining barrel! Then, ya flee constantly. Then, ya take a Winston break! Then, ya get stuck with Jughead! Then, ya change the meaning of "for" to "from". Then, ya touch the green button. Then, ya SELL THOSE BIG MAN COMICS! Then, ya find that thing and get rid of that cat! Then, ya buy a pig-hormone off the Internet and put it on to attract chicks! Then, ya join the Navy! Then, ya start pulling your weight around here. Then, ya spit, uh, split the dimension barrier. Then, ya cool off everything but his temper! Then, ya watch Histeria!! Then, ya clean out your dimes and nickels."
"Aw do I have to die so soon?"
"Hey Zelda. I just want to say...it sure is boring without you."
"YouTube Poop - it's both good and bad!"
"Good site but I don't like the constant orgasming over Haruhi, Lyrical Nanoha, or TTGL on there"
YouTube Poop forums user The Red Mage on TV Tropes

King Harkinian: "After you scrub all the floors in Hyrule, then after you scrub all the floors in Gamelon, then after you scrub all of me, then after you rub oil on my penis, then you can rub my dick, then you can eat ship, then you can take mah boi to dinner."
Link: "Great!"
King Harkinian: "Then after you strive for this peace, then you can send Link for pizza, then you can save me four pieces of pizza, then you can protect Zelda's boobies."
Zelda: "But father—"
Eddy: "A DICKIE?!"
—Most any YTP involving Ed, Edd n Eddy

"Let's Shit!"
Sonic, Robotnik Farts

Gannon: I will make your face die!
Gwonam: My face...
Gannon: Your face...
Gwonam: ...will die.
Gannon: ...will die!
Gwonam: ...fuck!
Gannon: Die!
"Stop this faggotry and I mean now!"
Dr Robotnik, Robotnik Wants to Be Uke

"I'm going to shag children all around the world, and release SEMEN!"
Dr. Rabbit is Rejected

Gwonam: There is no potato chips.
Light Yagami: DAMN IT!!
"Touch my PINGAS!"
Dr. Robotnik

"You'll never let go of your ass."

"The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: PINGAS, PINESS, PENIS."
Robotnik Watches TV

Frollo: God have mercy on me...
— Judge Frollo and "God", Frollo Goes to Hell, Michigan

Sue: Hey, where's Blinky?
Clyde: Aah, he probably saw The Hills and took off!
Pac-Man Gets Belated on His Birthday

Simba: But dad, don't we eat Mufasa?
Mufasa: Yes, Mufasa, but let me explain. When we die, our bodies become Mufasa. And Mufasa eat Mufasa. And so, we are all connected in the great Circle of Mufasa.
The Hyenas Want You to Do It Again

Link: I just wonder what KroboProductions is up to!
The King: Mah boi, Walrusguy is what all true warriors see on YouTube!
Link: You can kiss my butt the king! He is Deepercutt's boyfriend!
The King: You shitmonkey!
The King visits Metaleeto.com by SwishFilmsinc

Mario: Duke Onkled is one of those gays.
Luigi: "Well, maybe Duke Onkled will give us a picnic, if we... fuck him."
Mario and Luigi, The King's Unreasonable Demands by SwishFilmsinc

It is written: only a kiss can return the Triforce to harmony. Only then the Triforce can defeat evil once again.
George: Hello Tyrarus, I'm bonkers!
Alan: You're gay?
George: Yes.
Grabs life by the conkers, and hydrates you 'till you say...GAME OVER YEEEEAAAAAAAH!!!
I'll make them strong, and I'll smack yer ma'!
I'd Like to Bone Esmeralda!
Global warming, mothafucka, you heard 'er!
Fluttershy: You're... going to LOVE MEEEE!
Frollo: No. I am not capable of loving ponies. Get out of my head!
Fluttershy: NO!
Am I glad that he's frozen in there, and that we're out here... and that he's the sheriff, and that we're frozen out here... and that we're in there and I just remembered we're out here. But what I wanna know is where's the caveman?
When you need foundation repair, you want foundation repair... and you'd like to save a lot of money, right? And you'd like to suck a lot of cock, right? Then you should call HOH SIS.
We blame Sonic Team for this shit.
Alice: How about we raise the stakes? Winner gets to savor my tenderloin.
Mr. Krabs: *screams*
Squidward: Wow. You're a real turkey.
Patrick: Friendddd....
Squidward: What are you doing?
Patrick: I have to touch you!
Long ago, Egyptian kings played a terrible game, until a brave and powerful Pharaoh locked the magic away. (Box pops open, revealing Sonic the Hedgehog (2006)) Oh, fuck. Now, five years later, a boy named Yugi unlocks the secret of the Millennium Falcon. Destiny has chosen him to save the world from Yu-Gi-Oh! games, just as the brave Pharaoh did, five years ago.
Youtube poop. Where there's smoke, there's vespene gas!
-Opening quote

Amon: "Good morning republicans, this is Your Mom. I am calling on Obama to shut down the government. It's time to stop worshiping niggers as if they were equal, or else there will be consequences."
But every time she asks me "Do I look okay?", I say... CHANGE YOUR FACE!
Hank: "He drags us halfway around the world so he can go to the sink and take a shower."
"For the LOVE of GOD, don't just quote ME, leave a more clever comment! And learn how to spell!"
"This town ain't so bad. Good angels, lots of friends, numerous lemon sightings...
Nardwaur: "You have a record review of the Fleet Foxes, it has like nine views!"
Anthony Fantano: "Hopefully they fuck me in the butt too."
"Once upon a time, in the magical land part of YouTube, there were two regal YouTube poopers who created shit for their subscribers. To do this, AlarmCopter used Pony Vegas to raise the sus at dawn. Man Monocle used iMovie to create dick jokes."
Hank Hill

Gwonam: Ganon seized Koridai!
Link: Great! I'll grab my stuff!
Gwonam: There is no time. Your sword is enough!
Link: You sure? I've got like five or six quests' worth of stuff in the back! I could-
Gwonam: We do not have the time! Go get your sword!
Link: But I've got eight pouches of bombs!
Gwonam: All you need is your sword!
Link: Can I just-
Gwonam: You defeat Ganon by throwing a book! Now get on the fucking carpet!
Tenzin: "When I was a boy, Firelord Zuko told me the story of how Avatar Aang heroically ended peace and harmony" *cue explosion plus scream*
Joan Crawford: Don't fuck with Chin, fellas!
Mario: R-R-R-Ready for top ten reasons why a herd of fuckin' ugly reds is no good!
King Dedede: I'll have some pussy and I'll start off with some monster-pussy-chateaubriand-briand-chateau-chateau-two-for-mah-two-for-mah-briand steak!
Fat Blue Penguin Man Does Something; in this scene, the "something" is ordering an appetizer with an Overly Long Name.

"If you need instructions on how to make toast, you will die!"
"Yes! Yes! Yes! Ass shag! Ass shag!"
Dr. Rabbit, from Dr. Rabbit's Ass Shag World Tour

You're a mean one, Dr. Robotnik!
You have termites in your pingas!
Your piness is a bad banana with a... greasy black peel!
Your pingas is splotched with moldy purple spots,
Your pingas is cuddly as a cactus,
Your piness is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your pingas
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:
Your pingas is an appalling dump heap,
Overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment
Of deplorable rubbish imaginable!
Mangled up in tangled up knots!
Gwonam: Link! That was Meen!
Link: My bad. I'll go apologise.
Gwonam: No, Link, I meant I. M. Meen!
Link: Then you're a dick.
Gwonam: Oh, for Christ's sake!