->'''Jack''': Who makes all these [swords]?\\
'''Will''': I do! And I practice with them three hours a day!\\
'''Jack''': You need to find yourself a girl, mate.
-->-- ''Franchise/PiratesOfTheCaribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl''

->'''Kochanski:''' Rimmer?
->'''Rimmer:''' Yes Ma'am?
->'''Kochanski:''' Have sex with someone, and that's an order.
->'''Rimmer:''' Yes Ma'am, right away.
->'''Lister:''' ''(Handing Rimmer a business card)'' Here, ring this number, say I sent you, tell them it's an emergency.
-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf''

->''"That Kaiba kid needs to get laid."''
-->-- '''Many, ''[[RunningGag many]]'' people''', ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''

->''"Ninety-nine percent of the trouble in the world is caused by unmarried men."''
-->-- '''Schulz''', ''[[Series/HogansHeroes Duel of Honor]]''

->''"No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."''
-->-- '''Rhett Butler''', ''Film/GoneWithTheWind''

->''"You don't have any place to channel all that adolescent frustration boiling inside you. Isn't that what's really fueling all this impulsive behaviour? Snap out of it. Go find yourself a good-looking guy and let him walk you home from school. Heck, go see a movie with him on Sunday or something."''
-->-- '''Kyon''', ''LightNovel/HaruhiSuzumiya''

->''"I really didn't come here looking to fight you... but if it's some [[UnusualEuphemism one-on-one]] you want, I hear you have a ''great'' red light district."''
-->--'''Maeda Keiji''', ''VideoGame/SengokuBasara'' anime

->''"Still, a man like you and it's been ''four years''. I have immense personal respect for you, wizard, but that's just....sad."''
-->-- '''Lara Raith''', ''[[Literature/TheDresdenFiles White Night]]''

->'''Lady Macbeth:''' My plan ''will'' work! Macbeth just needs to screw his courage to his sticking place!
->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' No. [[DeadpanSnarker He needs to screw his courage to]] ''[[DeadpanSnarker your]]'' [[DoubleEntendre sticking place.]]
->'''Lady Macbeth:''' ''(gasps)''
->'''Sassy Gay Friend:''' Yeah. I said it. Because, sister, you need a hobby or an orgasm, ''stat''.
-->-- ''WebVideo/SassyGayFriend: Theatre/{{Macbeth}}''

->'''Jubilee:''' I mean, even if Scott and Jean have been having sex all this time, I don’t see how it hurts anybody. Hell, I can see some benefits to it!
->'''Bobby:''' Yeah, maybe that was why they were so uptight to begin with! They just needed to get laid!
-->-- ''[[http://xmen.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=544207779&chapter=1 My Friend, My Lover]]''

->''#228. I cannot use my time machine to hire Hitler a hooker in 1920, thus avoiding {{WW2}}.''
-->--'''[[http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html 1975 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG]]'''

->''"Life is short. If you have not made love recently, please, put down this book, and take care of that with all haste. Find a wanton lass or a frisky lad, or several, in whatever combination your wise loins direct, and do not under any circumstances play hard to get. Our struggle against the colossal forces of oppression can wait."''
->''[{{Beat}}]''
->''"Good. Welcome back."''
--> -- ''[[Literature/TheElderScrollsInUniverseBooks Ahzirr Traajijazeri]]''

->'''Iroh''': There are a lot of pretty girls here, Zuko. You could settle down here, and you could have a blessed life. You don't have to continue this, Zuko.
->'''Zuko''': .We'll catch him [the Avatar] soon, Uncle. Then we could think about the pretty girls.
-->-- ''Film/TheLastAirbender''

->''"On the other hand, maybe [[CouldHaveAvoidedThisPlot all of this could have been avoided]] if you had just managed to get laid once in a while. You can't even tell me you'd be this tightly wound if you were receiving [[UnusualEuphemism Treasure Type O]] regularly."''
-->-- '''Roy Greenhilt''', ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''

->''"This is the episode that seals the deal as far as Harry being a useless chump is concerned…he had the chance to get down and dirty with Seven of Nine but instead chose to [[SexIsEvil run away little a frightened little boy]]. Surely this guy cannot be any more wet? Every time Harry gets angry or upset like he does in sickbay when Tom [[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad cracks some Borg jokes]] I always want to slap him around the face with a wet halibut. I can’t decide whether it is Garrett Wang’s performance or the character but he is so earnest about everything you just want to make him do something really bad to make sure he is definitely a human being. Only Harry Kim would have midnight inspiration about reconfiguring astrometric projectors! Most normal guys [[GeekyTurnOn just have a wank.]]"''
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/voyager-season-four.html Doc Oho]]''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Revulsion"

->And so Fire Lord Sozin was left with a harem containing nothing but oversized pillows. \\
A week later he had drawn up a first draft of plans to conquer the world.
-->-- ''[[https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5146116/109/The-Ember-Island-Lighthouse-A-Beacon-of-Insanity The Ember Island Lighthouse: A Beacon of Insanity]]'' fic

->''"Ah, my favourite; the old 'You need to get laid'. Because, apparently, I've never had sex, and ''only'' people who had sex like poorly, lazily produced pop music. If I had known that, I would've never ever had sex in my life, but luckily, 'stupid' is not a sexually-transmitted disease, and I'm fine. I find this argument usually comes from people who are virgins themselves; people who believe 'sex solves ''everything''', because if they ever had sex, they know that it doesn't change the way you perceive music, movies, TV shows, sports, or anything else people like to use this argument for."''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/ADoseOfBuckley Buckley]]''' explaining why this is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op4kRRd9YbY not a valid argument for disagreeing with his worst song picks]].

-> ''"Connor, you should get out more. Go to a bar, meet a nice girl, life will seem a whole lot less confusing to you then."''
-->-- '''Nick Cutter''', ''{{Series/Primeval}}''

-> When I was a little lad,\\
So my mother told me,\\
That if I didn't kiss a girl\\
Me lips would all grow mouldy.
-->-- "Haul away Joe", a sea shanty

->"Ha, the Shinji Effect. She [Asuka] is even being nice to Rei... She starts being nice to her in ''Manga/ReTake'' as well. Maybe banging Shinji makes her docile..."
-->--''Manga/{{Evangelion 303}}'', ''[[http://eva303.smackjeeves.com/comics/1347545/040/ commenter in chapter 6]]''

->''"Go ahead and try to hit me if you’re able.''
->''Can’t you see that my relationship is stable?''
->''I can see you hate the way we intermingle.''
->''But I think you’re just mad ‘cause you’re single."''
-->--'''[[spoiler:Garnet]]''', ''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse''

->''“Well, His Majesty knows because it happened on Avalon, and therefore he knows about it. And what he said and your reactions made it easy for me to figure it out. Congratulations, by the way. You both look so damn happy I’m envious all over again. You two both needed last night, I think. You’re practically glowing, and giving off a cloud of very specific pheromones so powerful I’m practically getting a contact high from standing downwind of you. Every Imperial here is going to be able to tell because of things like that. There’s also the hundred subtle cues of posture, facial expression, and body language that tell say, trained psychiatrists, for example, that things between you two are different from yesterday.”''
-->--'''Ching''', ''Fanfic/ACrownOfStars'', ''chapter 43''
----