Quotes / You Make Me Sic

Jon: We're done with this piece of... pile of shit! Would rather suck Cillerenda's... clitoris!
Arin: WHOA! ...WHOA! Cillerenda? I... Ok...
Jon: (Laughing) Did I really say Cillerenda?
Arin: From now on... from now on until doomsday... I'm gonna walk into Disneyland, I'm gonna be like "Excuse me; Excuse me; ma'am?", and she'll be like "Yes, how can I help you?", and I'll say "Could you please direct me to the closest Cillerenda's Castle that you have?"

Lanie (examining a corpse with writing on her face): Looks like a patient lost his patience.
Castle: Also his command of grammar. "Your" should be "you're" as in "you are", that's not even a tough one not like when to use "who" or "whom".
Beckett: Do you really think that's the takeaway here, Castle?
Castle: I'm just saying whoever killed her also murdered the English language.
Castle, "The Double Down"

Kathryn Jean Lopez is a nationally syndicated batshit crazy columnist and blogger, former editor of National Review Online, and known colloquially as K-Lo presumably because of her obvious intellectual inferiority to the more famous J-Lo...She is known for her extraordinarily bad grammar and writing skills, which is worth pointing out since she has also claimed that correct pronounciation is an example of liberal elitism: [N]o one in flyover country says Pock-i-stahn. Its annoying. Clearly Obama is unfit to govern.

Okay Dan, I'm only gonna sing this one more time. Ooooohh... "if you want it to be possessive, it's just I-T-S. But if it's supposed to be a contraction, then it's I-T-apostrophe-S." Scalawag.
Strong Bad, Homestar Runner, about grammar usage on sbemail #89note 

Asuka:"C'est dur. Je fais beaucoup errr...d'efforts. Je remercie vous." [It is hard. I'm making many, errr...efforts. I you thank (I thank you).]
Guillaume (applauding):"Not bad! Except for the thanks. It's 'je vous remercie'. You just got the words the wrong way."
Asuka:"Damn! I'll never get it right!"
The Child of Love, chapter 7

Centurion: What's this, then? ROMANES EUNT DOMUS? "People called Romanes they go the house?"
Brian: It-it says "Romans, go home"!
Centurion: No it doesn't. What's Latin for Roman? (tweaks Brian's ear) Come on, come on!
Brian: Romanus?
Centurion: Plural of -anus is?
Brian: -ani?
Centurion: ROMANI... (takes brush, corrects Brian's writing) ...EUNT? What is EUNT?
Brian: Go!
Centurion: Conjugate the verb, 'to go'
Brian: Ire...eo, is, it, imus, idis, eunt.
Centurion: So 'eunt' is?
Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "They go".
Centurion: BUT! "Romans, go home" is an order! So you must use the... (lifts Brian by the ear)
Brian: I-I-Imperative!
Centurion: Which is?
Brian: Uhhm, oh, ah, ah, ah, "i"!
Centurion: HOW many Romans?
Brian: Uh, plural, plural..."ite"!
Centurion: ITE. (corrects Brian's writing) DOMUS? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy?
Brian: Uh...Dative!
(Centurion draws sword and holds it to Brian's neck)
Brian: AH! AH! Not Dative! Not Dative, uh, uh, ah, Accusative! Accusative! 'Domum'! 'Domum', sir!
Centurion: Except that 'domus' takes the...?
Brian: The Locative, sir!
Centurion: Which is?
Brian: 'Domum', sir!
Centurion: DOMUM. (corrects Brian's writing) Understand?
Brian: Yes sir!
Centurion: Now write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes sir! Hail Caesar sir!
Centurion: Hail Caesar. And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.