Quotes: Yet Another Stupid Death
Stupid deaths, stupid deaths, they're funny 'cos they're true. Stupid deaths, stupid deaths, hope next time it's not you!
What the fuck just happened?
Great now Iím stuck here on the ice!
And my coatís fucking gone
(itís gone, itís gone, itís gone)
Fucking dammit, I just froze to death
Skippy sank in lava, Corwin turned to slime,
They could both see what was coming but they couldn't pray in time.
Pinky fought a soldier ant that crawled out of his backpack
They were all in love with dyin', they were doing it in NetHack.
Bertha swung Mjollnir like a Valkyrie in the rain,
Then she lost her mind in Sokoban; a flayer ate her brain.
They were all in love with dyin', usin' every keyboard function,
As they tried to find the Amulet, somewhere in the dungeon.
— First verse of a NetHack filk
by Rob Balder
You wanna play shit? This is your grandfather's
shit. (James hurries across a superhighway, gets struck by pigs, teleports to a swamp and drowns)
...w-w-WHAT HAPPENED?! (scoffs)
Only on Atari!
Now, I never reviewed Dark Souls
, because other titles were out and my playtime was limited — and every time I sat down to it, it was like walking into a dark shed full of rakes
, immediately treading on one and getting BLAT!
-ered in the face. Other people with more time on their hands started telling me it was the greatest thing since tummy rubs, so I'd go back in the shed thinking, 'well, maybe there was just the one
rake', before BLAT!
in the face again. So I left it for awhile, but this week, with plenty of free time in my schedule I thought to myself, 'Last chance, I'll just keep tanking the rakes and maybe I'll somehow become really psychotically into being rake-faced
just in time to be prepared for the sequel.