History Quotes / YesMinister

-->-- '''Dan Hemmens''', "[[http://ferretbrain.com/articles/article-471 My Country, 'Tis of Thee]]"

->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads [[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers the papers]]! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the people who think they run the country. The ''Guardian'' is read by people who think they ought to run the country. The ''Times'' is read by the people who actually do run the country. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by the wives of the people who run the country. The ''Financial Times'' is read by [[MegaCorp people who own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[DirtyCommies people who think]] [[PuppetState the country ought to be run by]] [[UsefulNotes/SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn another]] [[RedChina country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[ConspiracyTheorist people who think it is]].
->'''Sir Humphrey''': Prime Minister, what about the people who read the ''Sun''?
->'''Woolley''': ''Sun'' readers don't care who runs the country [[PageThreeStunna as long as she's got big tits]].

->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads [[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers the papers]]! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the people who think they run the country. The ''Guardian'' is read by people who think they ought to run the country. The ''Times'' is read by the people who actually do run the country. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by the wives of the people who run the country. The ''Financial Times'' is read by [[MegaCorp people own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[DirtyCommies people who think]] [[PuppetState the country ought to be run by]] [[UsefulNotes/SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn another]] [[RedChina country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[ConspiracyTheorist people who think it is]].

->''"The three articles of Civil Service faith: [[LaboriousLaziness It takes longer to do things quickly]], [[CuttingCorners it's more expensive to do them cheaply]], and it's more democratic to do them in secret."''

->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads [[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers the papers]]! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the people who think they run the country. The ''Guardian'' is read by people who think they ought to run the country. The ''Times'' is read by the people who actually do run the country. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by the wives of the people who run the country. The ''Financial Times'' is read by [[MegaCorp people own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[TheQuisling people who think the country ought to be run by another country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[ConspiracyTheorist people who think it is]].

->''"The three articles of Civil Service faith: It takes longer to do things quickly, it's more expensive to do them cheaply, and it's more democratic to do them in secret."''

->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads [[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers the papers]]! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the people who think they run the country. The ''Guardian'' is read by people who think they ought to run the country. The ''Times'' is read by [[TheGovernment the people]] who actually do run the country. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by the wives of the people who run the country. The ''Financial Times'' is read by [[MegaCorp people own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[TheQuisling people who think the country ought to be run by another country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[ConspiracyTheorist people who think it is]].
->'''Sir Humphrey''': Eh, Prime Minister, what about the people who read the ''Sun''?
->'''Woolley''': ''Sun'' readers ApatheticCitizens don't care who runs the country [[PageThreeStunna as long as she's got big tits]].

->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads [[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers the papers]]! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the people who [[DriverOfABlackCab think]] they run the country. The ''Guardian'' is read by [[LaResistance people]] who think they ''[[SoapboxSadie ought]]'' to run the country. The ''Times'' is read by [[TheGovernment the people]] who [[TheMan actually do run the country]]. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by the [[{{Housewife}} wives]] [[GrandeDame of the people who run the country]]. The ''Financial Times'' is read by people who [[CorruptCorporateExecutive own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[DirtyCommunists people who think the country ought to be run]] by [[UsefulNotes/SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn another country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[RedScare people who think it]] ''[[RedScare is]]''.

->'''Woolley''': ''Sun'' readers [[ApatheticCitizens don't care who runs the country]] [[PageThreeStunna as long as she's got]] [[BuxomIsBetter big tits]].

->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads [[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers the papers]]! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the [[{{Muggles}} people]] who [[DriverOfABlackCab think]] they run the country. The ''Guardian'' is read by [[LaResistance people]] who think they ''[[SoapboxSadie ought]]'' to run the country. The ''Times'' is read by [[TheGovernment the people]] who [[TheMan actually do run the country]]. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by the [[{{Housewife}} wives]] [[GrandeDame of the people who run the country]]. The ''Financial Times'' is read by people who [[CorruptCorporateExecutive own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[DirtyCommunists people who think the country ought to be run]] by [[UsefulNotes/SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn another country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[RedScare people who think it]] ''[[RedScare is]]''.

-->--'''The Right Honourable Jim Hacker MP'''

->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads [[UsefulNotes/BritishNewspapers the papers]]! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the [[{{Muggles}} people]] who [[DriverOfABlackCab think]] they run the country. The ''Guardian'' is read by [[LaResistance people]] who think they ''[[SoapboxSadie ought]]'' to run the country. The ''Times'' is read by [[TheGovernment the people]] who [[TheMan actually do run the country]]. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by the [[{{Housewife}} wives]] [[GrandeDame of the people who run the country]]. The ''Financial Times'' is read by people who [[CorruptCorporateExecutive own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[DirtyCommunists people who think the country ought to be run]] by [[SovietRussia another country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[RedScare people who think it]] ''[[RedScare is]]''.

->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads [[BritishNewspapers the papers]]! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the [[{{Muggles}} people]] who [[DriverOfABlackCab think]] they run the country. The ''Guardian'' is read by [[LaResistance people]] who think they ''[[SoapboxSadie ought]]'' to run the country. The ''Times'' is read by [[TheGovernment the people]] who [[TheMan actually do run the country]]. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by the [[{{Housewife}} wives]] [[GrandeDame of the people who run the country]]. The ''Financial Times'' is read by people who [[CorruptCorporateExecutive own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[DirtyCommunists people who think the country ought to be run]] by [[SovietRussia another country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[RedScare people who think it]] ''[[RedScare is]]''.

->When Americans decided to write a TV series about their political leaders, they produced ''Series/TheWestWing'', a heartbreakingly sincere political drama about intelligent, passionate, dynamic people giving their all for the good of the country. When Brits decided to write a TV series about their political leaders they produced ''Yes, Prime Minister''.

-->It is necessary to get behind someone in order to stab them in the back.
--->--'''Sir Humphrey Appleby'''

-->'''Woolley:''' The problem is, the Prime Minister did try to suppress the [politically damaging] chapter [of the former Prime Minister's memoirs], didn't he?
-->'''Sir Humphrey:''' I don't know, did he?
-->'''Woolley:''' Well didn't he, don't you remember?
-->'''Sir Humphrey:''' What I remember is irrelevant. If the minutes don't say that he did, then he didn't.
-->'''Woolley:''' So you want me to falsify the minutes.
-->'''Sir Humphrey:''' I want nothing of the sort! It's up to you, Bernard. What do you want?
-->'''Woolley:''' I want to have a clear conscience.
-->'''Sir Humphrey:''' A clear conscience.
-->'''Woolley:''' Yes, Sir Humphrey.
-->'''Sir Humphrey:''' When did you acquire this taste for luxuries?

-->'''Sir Humphrey''': Ladysmith House is top secret.
-->'''Hacker''': How can a seven storey building in Walthamstow be top secret?
-->'''Sir Humphrey''': Where there's a will, there's a way.
--->"The Economy Drive"

-->'''Hacker''': Fortunately, Bernard, most of our journalists are so incompetent they'd have the gravest difficulty in finding out that today is Wednesday.
-->'''Woolley''': It's actually Thursday.
--->"The Compassionate Society"

-->'''Sir Humphrey''': The only way to understand the Press is to remember that they pander to their readers' prejudices.
-->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads [[BritishNewspapers the papers]]! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the [[{{Muggles}} people]] who [[GabbyCabbie think]] they run the country. The ''Guardian'' is read by [[LaResistance people]] who think they ''[[SoapboxSadie ought]]'' to run the country. The ''Times'' is read by [[TheGovernment the people]] who [[TheMan actually do run the country]]. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by the [[{{Housewife}} wives]] [[GrandeDame of the people who run the country]]. The ''Financial Times'' is read by people who [[CorruptCorporateExecutive own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[DirtyCommunists people who think the country ought to be run]] by [[SovietRussia another country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[RedScare people who think it]] ''[[RedScare is]]''.
-->'''Sir Humphrey''': Eh, Prime Minister, what about the people who read the ''Sun''?
-->'''Woolley''': ''Sun'' readers [[ApatheticCitizens don't care who runs the country]] [[PageThreeStunna as long as she's got]] [[BuxomIsBetter big tits]].

-->When Americans decided to write a TV series about their political leaders, they produced ''Series/TheWestWing'', a heartbreakingly sincere political drama about intelligent, passionate, dynamic people giving their all for the good of the country. When Brits decided to write a TV series about their political leaders they produced ''Yes, Prime Minister''.
--->'''[[http://ferretbrain.com/articles/article-471 Dan Hemmens]]]'''

-->'''Woolley''': ''Sun'' readers [[ApatheticCitizens don't care who runs the country]] [[BuxomIsBetter as long as she's got big tits]].

-->'''Woolley''': ''Sun'' readers [[ApatheticCitizens don't care who runs the country]] as long as [[PageThreeStunna she]]'s got [[BuxomIsBetter big tits]].

-->It is necessary to get behind someone in order to stab them in the back?

-->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads [[BritishNewspapers the papers]]! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the people who [[GabbyCabbie think]] [[TheQuisling they run the country]] . The ''Guardian'' is read by people who think they ''[[SoapboxSadie ought]]'' [[LaResistance to run the country]]. The ''Times'' is read by [[TheMan the people who actually do run the country]]. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by the [[{{Housewife}} wives]] [[GrandeDame of the people who run the country]]. The ''Financial Times'' is read by people who [[CorruptCorporateExecutive own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[DirtyCommunists people who think the country ought to be run]] by [[SovietRussia another country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[RedScare people who think it]] ''[[RedScare is]]''.

-->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads the papers! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the people who [[TheQuisling think they run the country]] . The ''Guardian'' is read by people who think they ''[[LaResistance ought]]'' [[LaResistance to run the country]]. The ''Times'' is read by [[TheMan the people who actually do run the country]]. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by [[GrandeDame the wives]] of the people who run the country. The ''Financial Times'' is read by people who [[CorruptCorporateExecutive own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[DirtyCommunists people who think the country ought to be run]] by [[SovietRussia another country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[RedScare people who think it]] ''[[RedScare is]]''.

-->'''Woolley''': ''Sun'' readers [[ApatheticCitizens don't care who runs the country]] as long as [[BuxomIsBetter she's got big tits]].

-->'''Woolley''': ''Sun'' readers don't care who runs the country as long as [[BuxomIsBetter she's got big tits]].

-->'''Hacker''': Don't tell me about the Press -- I know ''exactly'' who reads the papers! The ''Daily Mirror'' is read by the people who [[TheQuisling think they run the country]] . The ''Guardian'' is read by people who think they ''[[LaResistance ought]]'' [[LaResistance to run the country]]. The ''Times'' is read by [[TheMan the people who actually do run the country]]. The ''Daily Mail'' is read by [[GrandeDame the wives]] of the people who run the country. The ''Financial Times'' is read by people who [[CorruptCorporateExecutive own the country]]. The ''Morning Star'' is read by [[DirtyCommunists people who think the country ought to be run]] by [[SovietRussia another country]]; the ''Daily Telegraph'' is read by the [[MoralGuardians people who think it]] ''[[RedScare is]]''.

--->"The Compassionate Society"