Quotes: Will They or Won't They?
For three years I've been watching you pine after Blonde Doctor, and I gotta tell you, everyone is sick of it! "Will they? Won't they? Looks like they're going to! Ooh, the last second, something might — ooh ooh ooh!" Come on! Enough already! I mean, you guys aren't exactly Ross and Rachel
Who? Janitor: Dr. Ross, and Rachel from bookkeeping.
"Fufufu, can great detectives deduce the emotions and feelings between men and women? They can't, right? Figuring out the feelings of the opposite sex is an even more advanced art than exposing the tricks in difficult crime cases. If you ask me, romance novels have much deeper mysteries than masterpiece mystery novels."
Well, as you know, I've been studying comedy, learning what's funny. I'm watching Friends
right now. What happens with Ross and Rachel? No, no, don't tell me...
"What is wrong with the two of you? Seriously!
He likes you and you like him and just ... just ... just be together! Geez Louise, happiness is not that difficult!"
"I like a little romance in my comics. That might sound a little strange considering that my favorite character only sporadically has love interests, and they tend to end up being murdered, going insane or being written by Kevin Smith, but it's true. Unfortunately, for every "I love you, Lois Lane. Until the end of time," there's an "Ah cain't touch yuh, Remy!" mucking things up... The whole point — as they will remind the reader at length every single time they're in more than two panels together — is that they want to touch each other and can't. Thus, that tease becomes the default setting of the relationship, and even when there are clear ways around it — like, say, giving Leech a set of headphones and a Gameboy and having him stand outside the room for a couple hours — it wasn't moved past, because there's
nowhere to go. Even when Rogue eventually gains control of her powers, something else has to be manufactured to keep them apart, like Gambit's extremely tiresome secret dark mysterious past. It's rooted in an interesting way to underscore the traditional Marvel Comics downside of being fantastically pretty and having amazing super-powers, but it's also the sort of thing that, once established, gets real old
"'I'm going to break up with her because there's a risk of harm to Lana. It hurts her that I have a secret. So instead of telling her, I'm gonna break up with her! FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER! (two episodes max)'
This was OLD, and I mean OLD, like Horatio Alger going back in time old, in season two...This one is like if a bird fell down in front of them and Clark said, 'Uh, that's a bad omen. We're so over. I'm off to put up some tarps. YOINK!" And then the Wile E Coyote tappity tappity feet and he's off. BEEP BEEP!
So IT'S OVER. FOREVER. AND EVER AND EVER. Clark and Lana will NEVER EVER EVER be together again. It's over this time. Really! ...If it's true, I openly concede that this was the best episode of the series ever, because it saved the series. But you and I both know it's not, so it holds no drama, no hope, no character, nothing."