"I can't believe the arbitrary way that humans decide which animals to revere and which to eat. It's nothing more than a barbaric popularity contest. Take the koala bear: cute and cuddly. Have you ever heard of a koala burger? A koala dog? Koala falafel? No! The noble cow, whose only sins are her pendulous teats and redundant stomachs, is doomed to be sawed into freezer-friendly chunks and sold by the pound to the bloodthirsty masses!"