Quotes: We're Still Relevant, Dammit
"Sinatra had, or at least appeared to have, a firm sense of self and maintained it during the good times and the bad and from decade to decade. If one liked him, great. If not, too bad. Sammy, on the other hand, was desperate to please everyone, to be loved by everyone, and to be in the forefront of whatever was in vogue at any given moment. If Frank was a rock, Sammy was a chameleon."
—Gary Fishgall on Sammy Davis Jr, Gonna Do Great Things
"You might recall that in Thunderball, Bond and Emilio Largo faced off in a game of baccarat. This is the Never Say Never Again equivalent, and it’s a bit different, to say the least. Obviously, the baccarat had to go, because nobody under the age of 80 knows what that is. But as for what they replaced it with, well..."
"So, now we have a 20th century Cenobite, a people consumed with technology. If these Cenobites existed now they'd all have iPhones sticking out of their heads."
"NBC was planning a Say Anything TV show until Cameron Crowe echoed the world’s thoughts by screaming, 'NOOOOOOOO.' Thank God NBC cares what Cameron Crowe thinks, because we really don’t need to see Lloyd and Diane’s son blast a cover of 'In Your Eyes' by 5SOS from a Jawbone while standing outside of his girlfriend’s townhouse."
"Yes, the product does have to 'change with the times'. That’s perfectly fine. I get it. Every form of entertainment, be it music or movies or video games or even pro wrestling has to evolve to maintain an audience. Although saying wrestling is ‘evolving’ when WWE’s main show has turned into a Gong Show-esque mish mash of bad guest hosts and even worse kits seems to be a bit misleading."
"One of the stock criticisms of the first two seasons of Enterprise is that that show was just following in the footsteps of The Next Generation and [Star Trek: Voyager Voyager]], that many of the episodes from those first two seasons were just retreads of retreads; the show was just a photocopy of a photocopy. This criticism is not entirely fair, but it is also not entirely unfair. Episodes like The Crossing make it very hard to argue that Enterprise had confidently found its own direction, awkwardly trying to graft metaphors for the War on Terror into storytelling structures almost forty years old."''
"A time traveling mobile phone with boundless signal through time and space — can you imagine a better way to dazzle the youth of today?"
"It being an odd-numbered episode, it’s time for the show to revamp itself once again, with characteristic subtlety. Now we’re in a big metaphor about the financial crash."
"Hollywood still does a horrific job of portraying anyone who uses a computer or cell phone for anything. They may as well just set every movie before 1998 so that they can avoid the cinematic poison of shooting an actor looking at a fucking screen. But in an effort to stay HIP and KEWL, the people behind the new Fantastic Four reboot (yes, it's already being rebooted) have decided to change Victor Von Doom from being a small-country dictator into an "anti-social programmer," which means Hollywood is trying to edgify him by 10 percent. He was already a crazed homicidal maniac. You don't have to mess with that formula. That's an evergreen."
—Drew Magary, Make It Stop
"What’s Dick Tracy doing on this fine Saturday? Oh, you know, just making some chili with extra cumin and singing Chumbawamba, like you do."
"If you want to prove Superman is still relevant, all you have to do is tell good Superman stories. Jumping up and down and screaming 'HEY, I’M STILL RELEVANT!' is the quickest way to lose the argument that nobody was asking you to have, and it’s even worse when you’re doing it by having a character beat up a parody of characters that were themselves already a parody."
—Chris Sims on What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice And The American Way? (2001)
"When you consider the entire history of Magneto, it’s pretty ridiculous. He’s been assumed dead at least half-a-dozen times; he’s probably flip-flopped from villain to hero more times than that; and he’s been resurrected as both a Nelson-haired clone (millennials: Google 'Nelson band' to get how funny that is) and a star-headed Taoist. Mistakes have been made with the character; mistakes so big that the character’s retcons and course-corrections have diminished his stature, leaving readers to wonder; Just who the hell is Magneto?"