Quotes: Weirdness Censor


There's a phantom in the basement, the janitor's a spy, the principal's a rhino and no-one's asking why! Dinosaurs are everywhere, a twister's in the sky! It's just another day at Flying Rhino Junior High!

"Bless them, they'll go to any lengths to ignore magic, even if it's staring them in the face..."

You thought I'd say "HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?!?"...In reality, it didn't.

"Your species has the most amazing capacity for self-deception, matched only by its ingenuity when trying to destroy itself."
The Seventh Doctor, Doctor Who

Ah yes, "Reapers". The immortal race of sentient starships allegedly waiting in dark space. We have dismissed that claim.
— Turian councillor, Mass Effect 2

C-Sec customs: After the Geth attack there was a review of security protocol. A few minor changes were made to reduce the risk of Geth infiltration. We apologise for the inconvenience.
Legion (a Geth): Geth do not infiltrate.
C-Sec customs: You should leave your personal synthetic assistant at home, they're not allowed in shuttles any more.
Legion: Geth do not intentionally infiltrate.

"The great thing about your species, Dib, is that most of them don't notice.
Tak, Invader Zim

Mickey Smith: (after the Doctor explains why the TARDIS resembles a Police Box) But that's what I meant, there's no police boxes any more, so doesn't it get noticed?
The Doctor: Ricky, let me tell you something about the human race. You put a mysterious blue box slap-bang in the middle of town, what do they do? Walk past it. Now stop your nagging. Let's go and explore.
Doctor Who, "Boom Town"

It was true that normal people couldn't hear Gaspode speak, because dogs don't speak. It's a well known fact. It's well known at the organic level, like a lot of other well-known facts which overrule the observation of the senses. This is because if people went around noticing everything that was going on all the time, no-one would ever get anything done. Besides, almost all dogs don't talk. Ones that do are merely a statistical error, and can therefore be ignored.

"The technology involved in making something properly invisible is so mind-bogglingly complex that 999,999,999 times out of a billion it's simpler just to take the thing away and do without it... The 'Somebody Else's Problem field' is much simpler, more effective, and "can be run for over a hundred years on a single torch battery."

"We're ostriches, and the whole world is sand. Newbies who are just learning about the world of wizards and the unpleasant side of the supernatural always think there's this huge conspiracy to hide it from everyone. There isn't. There's no need for one, beyond preventing actual parades down Main Street. Hell's bells, from where I'm standing, it's a miracle anyone ever notices."
Harry Dresden, The Dresden Files

Tiana: Stella just talked to me! A dog! Just talked to me!
Naveen: You know, if you are going to let every little thing bother you, it's going to be a long night.

"First defense against evil: Open your damn eyes."

Real Life

"Reality is something the human race doesn't handle very well."

"Picnic on the head of the Sphinx, hang out with the minute hand on Big Ben as if you were Mary Poppins... and, here's the thing: Nobody notices."
Roger Ebert, review of Jumper

Man: Dragons are burning down the city!
Dennis Franz: You think I give a damn if some Chinese kids hopped up on angel dust start dropping fireworks off their kites?!
Man: What? No, actual giant legendary monsters! Look!
Dennis Franz: I'm Homicide, kid. Let that pack of drunk fighter pilots under a parade float have their fun.
Man: How is that less crazy than "dragon"?
Dennis Franz: I hope your dickhole likes fists, funny man!

"Man, Scully’s theories are getting as outrageous as Mulder’s these days, just in the other direction. She’ll go to any lengths to find a plausible scientific explanation, so much so that she double backs on herself in her efforts and the resulting speculation is even more unlikely than Mulder’s! This week she explains the destruction of the high street with a sonic boom and a tornado to counteract Mulder’s suggestion of a black hole! Even funnier is her assertion that the reason the elephant couldn’t be seen is because the cameras were faulty and the observers had poor eyesight. If I was Mulder I would have trouble keeping a straight face."
Doc Oho on The X-Files, "Fearful Symmetry"

"I hate to argue with such a dramatic display, but if someone were going to ask questions about a mysterious plane's mysterious landing, I'm not sure an ensuing mysterious explosion would get them to go about their day like nothing happened. But I could be overestimating people's average intelligence and curiosity."

David: Yes, there are apparently visible green brainwaves flying towards Riddler’s gigantic aquarium blender like Lifestream in Final Fantasy VII. Why nobody finds this at all suspicious, well — this is the same city that believed Batman turned on them because of an umbrella full of bats and a hijacked Batmobile.
Chris: When will these stinkin’ people realize that they’re getting played?
David: Like a HARP from HELL!
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Batman Forever

"Clark shows up at the Lex mansion, takes Lex, and with one hand throws Lex thirty feet through the air and through a table.

Lex's response (And I swear, I didn't make this up. This is the real character response.) is: 'Clark! You've been hypnotized, how else could you throw me across a room like that?'

Nah, Lex. That's PCP that makes you do that."
Neal Bailey on Smallville ("Hypnotic")

People would enter the elevator every once in a while.
They found a six-year-old boy sticking a screwdriver into a CD player and a stuffed tiger with a magazine sitting in the corner.
They chose not to do anything about it.
Calvin and Hobbes: The Series, "Department Store Horrors"