Quotes / We All Live in America

Leela: Look, I know there are no car chases, but this is important. One of these two men will become president of the world.
Fry: What do we care? We live in the United States.
Leela: The United States is part of the world.
Fry: Wow, I have been gone a long time.

It is a national pastime only in the sense of myopic hubris — the same sort of hubris that results in us declaring a competition in which only one team from outside of the United States competes the 'world series.'
Phil Sandifer on baseball

Clerk: Would you like to pay by credit card?
Customer: Yes. Do you know where I can find a Bank of America?
Clerk: Um, I'm sorry, but there isn't any around here.
Customer: So you guys don't have Bank of America.
Clerk: No.
Customer: Are you sure?
Clerk: Yes, this is Canada.

Tourist 1: There were no English channels on the TV. I ended up watching the basketball game, but because there wasnít an English commentary I listened to my mp3 player to drown out the horrible sound of the Chinese commentary. And you really should tell them to get some English newspapers in their hotels if they want people to stay here!
Tourist 2: Youíre in China. Of course things are in their language. If you want to read the newspaper, get a Chinese to English dictionary.
Tourist 1: Why would I want to read Chinese?!

Customer: Why are all the road signs in f***ing Spanish? Arenít you all supposed to be speaking English? If you're going to live here, speak English!
Car Rental Customer Service: We are in Spain, sir. Spanish is our official language.