Quotes / Vulgar Humor

"You can certainly get a cat out a tree by raping people under it until emergency vehicles scare it away, but it is my belief that the American people will regret not finding a better solution."

"I do have a cause though. It is obscenity. I'm for it."
Tom Lehrer, introduction to the song "Smut", That Was the Year That Was

851. When plumbing the depths of depravity, I must remember to come up for air.

"Any genuinely cutting-edge comedy will risk offending people who watch it; but how is a penis joke supposed to offend the average college student? The answer is, it's not supposed to offend anybody who watches the show; it's supposed to give college kids a smug sense of superiority in believing that someone else might theoretically be offended by that penis joke."
Jaime J. Weinman, "Why I Hate Family Guy"

Joseph Smith, fuck frog,
Brigham Young, clit face,
Shit come out da butt,
Jesus says fuck, fuck,
The Book of Mormon, "Joseph Smith American Moses" (yes, It Makes Sense in Context)

Ken: This morning, and this afternoon, we're doing what I want to do. Got it?
Ray: 'Course. Which I presume will involve culture.
Ken: Oh, we shall strike a balance between culture and fun.
Ray: Somehow, I believe, Ken, the balance shall tip in the favour of culture. Like a big, fat, fucking retarded, fucking black girl on a seesaw... opposite... (beat) a dwarf.

My dick looks like the fat that you cut off a steak, smashed in like my balls went and stepped on a rake
The Lonely Island, "We're Back!"