->"Stupid best friend Flanders!" \\
--'''Homer Simpson'''

->'''Church''': O'Malley, from now on, if anyone's going to make [Tex] cranky in the morning, it's gonna be me. \\
'''Tex''': Aww, how sweet. \\
'''Church''': Shut up, bitch. \\
'''Tex''': Asshole. \\
-- '''''Machinima/RedVsBlue'''''

->''"Snake, in China they say, 'Though brothers may quarrel at home, outside they defend each other from slight.'"'' \\
-- '''Mei Ling''', ''VideoGame/SuperSmashBrosBrawl''

-> '''Black Mage''': I have a friend.\\
'''White Mage''': What you ''have'' is a highly dysfunctional relationship based exclusively on abuse\\
'''Black Mage''': Right. A friend.\\
'''White Mage''': See that, that right there, ''that's'' what's wrong with you.\\
'''Black Mage''': Damnit, Fighter. White Mage doesn't like me because you're a rotten friend. \\
-- ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''

->'''Justin Taylor''': I hate you! \\
'''Eddie [=McDowd=]''': Justin, [[BlackmailIsSuchAnUglyWord hate is a very strong word]]. \\
-- ''Series/OneHundredDeedsForEddieMcdowd''

->''Just because I give you crap doesn't mean I hate you. If I hated you, I wouldn't talk to you at all.'' \\

->Levan smiled. "When I hear two people spar like that, I am certain that there is actually a profound affection between them." \\
"Oh, God," said Rubin, visibly revolted. His sparse beard bristled and his eyes, magnified through the thick lenses of his glasses, glared. \\
"You've hit it, Mr. Levan," said Gonzalo. "Manny would give me the shirt off his back if no one were looking. The only thing he wouldn't give me is a kind word." \\
--Creator/IsaacAsimov, "The Wrong House"

->'''Chi:''' ...I just realized that I don't think of you as a friend at all. \\
'''Christopher:''' W-what?! Does that mean you think of me as a lover, then?! \\
'''Chi:''' You're someone I'd love to kill, but circumstances prevent me from doing so. For almost four decades now, come to think of it... \\
-- ''[[LightNovel/{{Baccano}} 1933 - The Slash: Bloody to Fair]]''

->'''Edward:''' So ... what do I do when I run into Reggie again? I mean, I came ''this'' close to reorganizing his landscape.\\
'''Thomas:''' Suck it up. Apologize. Be the bigger man. Heh. Metaphorically.\\
'''[[TheNapoleon Edward]]:''' Right. How are you my friend again?\\
'''Thomas:''' My abuse is playful and originates from genuine caring. \\
--''Webcomic/BetweenFailures 437'', "[[http://betweenfailures.com/archive/437-playful-abuse/ Playful Abuse]]"

->'''Hobbes:''' You know, maybe we don't need enemies. \\
'''Calvin:''' Yeah, best friends are about all I can take. \\

->''But Calvin and Hobbes were still best friends, and that would never change.'' \\
''No matter how much one ticked the other off.'' \\
-- ''Fanfic/CalvinAndHobbesTheSeries'', [[Recap/CalvinAndHobbesTheSeriesS1E26TheCaseOfTheRogueWaterBalloon "The Case of the Rogue Water Balloon"]]

->''Hobbes, as we all know, is Calvin's closest friend, and not just because [[ThereIsOnlyOneBed they have to share a bed.]] Despite a truckload of arguments and disagreements, Calvin and Hobbes are both dependent on each other. Calvin [[CloudCuckoolandersMinder sometimes to bring Hobbes back down to Earth when he gets too overconfident]] and Hobbes needs Calvin to keep his life interesting. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Oh, and he also needs Calvin for]] [[TrademarkFavoriteFood tuna.]]'' \\
-- ''Fanfic/CalvinAndHobbesTheSeries'', [[Recap/CalvinAndHobbesTheSeriesS4E10TalesOfATiger "Tales of a Tiger"]]

->'''Carver:''' Varric. \\
'''Varric:''' Carver. \\
'''Carver:''' Still think you're helping while burying us in debt to your brother? \\
'''Varric:''' Still riding side-saddle while bitching at your betters? \\
'''Carver:''' Drinks later? \\
'''Varric:''' Never miss 'em. \\
-- ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII''

->'''Robert:''' I swear, if I wasn't your King, you would have hit me already. \\
'''Ned:''' The worst thing about your coronation is that I can never hit you again. \\
... \\
[''Robert's squire struggles with his breastplate when Ned enters the tent.''] \\
'''Squire:''' It was made too small, your grace. It won't go. \\
'''Robert:''' Your mother was a dumb whore, with a fat arse! [''to Ned''] Look at this idiot! He can't even put a man's armour on properly! \\
'''Ned:''' [''matter-of-fact''] You're too fat for your armour. \\
'''Robert:''' Fat? Fat, is it?! Is that how you speak to your king?!! \\
[''Ned and Robert stare at one another. Ned smirks. Robert bursts out laughing. Ned follows, and then nervously, the Squire.''] \\
'''Robert:''' [''grimly''] That's ''funny'', is it? \\
'''Squire:''' No, your Grace. \\
'''Robert:''' No?! You don't like [[NumberTwo the Hand's]] joke?! \\
'''Squire:''' [''dumb-founded''] \\
'''Robert:''' You heard the Hand: the king is too fat for his armour! Go find the breast-plate-stretcher! Go! \\
[''The squire flees''] \\
'''Ned:''' 'The breast-plate-stretcher'? \\
'''Robert:''' [[SnipeHunt How long before he figures it out?]] \\
'''Ned:''' Maybe I should invent it. \\

->'''Jon''': You're the worst possible friend a man could have. \\
'''Phillip''': I hate you too, buddy. I hate you too. \\
-- ''[=Goats=]''

->'''Walt:''' How are you doing Martin, you crazy Italian prick? \\
'''Barber Martin:''' Walt, your cheap bastard. I should have know you should come in right now. I was having such a pleasant time. \\
'''Walt:''' What did you do, cheat some blind man out of his money, gave him the wrong change? \\
'''Barber Martin:''' Whos the nip? \\
'''Walt:''' Oh, he is a pussy kid from next door. I am just trying to Man him up a little bit. \\
'''Barber Martin:''' Hmm... \\
'''Walt:''' You see kid, thats how guys talk to one another. \\
'''Thao:''' ...they do? \\
'''Barber Martin:''' What, you got chip in your ears? \\
'''Walt:''' Go on out, and come back in and talk to him like a real man. \\
'''Thao:''' [Exits and re-enters the shop] Excuse me Sir, I need a haircut if you ain't too busy you old Italian son of a bitch prick barber. Boy, does my ass hurt from all of the guys at my construction job \\
'''Barber Martin:''' [Picks up and point a rifle at Thao] Get out of my shop before I blow your head off, you goddamn dick sucker! Go! \\
'''Walt:''' What the hell are you doing?! You just don't go in and insult a man in his own shop! \\
-- ''Film/GranTorino''

->[[color:teal:[=gC: YOU S33 W3 4R3 M34NT TO B3 B3ST H4T3FR13NDS FOR3V3R=]]] \\
-- '''[[VoiceWithAnInternetConnection gallowsCalibrator]]''' ([[LeetLingo sic]]) to [[TheSmartGuy Rose Lalonde]], ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''

-> ''"whereas i will offer dave a tender bro embrace, and shove karkat down a flight of friendship stairs."'' \\
-- '''John''' from ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'' discussing his plans for meeting up with his friends

->'''Wonder Woman''': What about us? Are we good? \\
'''Hawkgirl''': Like oil and vinegar. We go together, but we don't mix. \\
'''Wonder Woman''': Works for me. \\
-- ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeagueUnlimited''

->"Eiji and I may have different objectives, and we may undermine each other... but at least we're honest about it." \\
-- '''Ankh''', ''Series/KamenRiderOOO''

->'''Kel''': I can't believe my best friend is a son of a bandit. \\
'''Kenan''': I can't believe my best friend is a doofus. \\
-- ''Series/KenanAndKel''

->''No, Daffy always comes back. I just tell him how much I need him. We hug, we cry, I drop something heavy on him, I laugh.'' \\
-- '''WesternAnimation/BugsBunny''', ''Film/LooneyTunesBackInAction''

->''Who else but a bosom buddy [[WhatTheHellHero will tell you how rotten you are?]]'' \\
-- '''Mame'''

->'''Franchise/{{Spider Man}}:''' Wow, [[Franchise/{{Superman}} Supes]] must mean a lot for you to go to all this trouble to find him.\\
'''Franchise/{{Batman}}:''' 'Supes' is a headstrong, naive idiot without the least bit of common sense in these situations.\\
'''Spider-Man:''' [''laughs'']\\
'''Batman:''' But only ''I'm'' allowed to say that.\\
'''Spider-Man:''' ''[meekly]'' Yes, sir.
-->-- ''[[FanFic/ImAMarvelAndImADC Marvel/DC After Hours]]''

->'''Wrex''': Garrus...I have to make friends with the one turian in the galaxy who thinks he's funny. \\
'''Garrus''': Imagine how I feel. I'm supposed to hate krogan, but you came along and warmed my heart with your winning personality. \\
'''Wrex:''' I could throw a few salarians off a cliff if it'll make you feel better. \\

->'''Skwisgaar Skwigelf:''' I will sees you in Vallhalska... \\
'''Toki Wartooth:''' I've always hated you Skwisgaar. \\
'''Skwisgaar Skwigelf:''' I knows Toki... I knows. \\
-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Metalocalypse}}''

->A good friend helps you up when you trip. A ''best'' friend laughs at your ass and trips you again. \\
--''An old joke''

->''Look how we get along together. (You are incredibly annoying) \\
I think it's great the way we blend. (You're like a bone stuck in my throat) \\
You've tried to be as tough as leather. (This isn't something I'm enjoying). \\
But now I see that's just pretend. (I shoulda left you on that boat!) \\
We'll find our way through stormy weather. (You want a friend? Go find a snail!) \\
Just you and me right to the end. (Or better yet, Killer Whale!) \\
Hey buddy, looks like we're two birds of a feather. (Don't call me buddy!)\\
And, gee, it looks like I got me a friend!'' \\
-- '''WesternAnimation/ThePebbleAndThePenguin'''

->''Cause we're frenemies \\
We like disliking one another \\
Cause we're frenemie s\\
He's like my least favorite brother! '' \\
--'''Buford and Baljeet''', ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'', "Lotsa Latkes"

-> ''Their relationship is a bit complicated. When they're together, they can't stop bickering each other, but when they're separated, they really get bored.'' \\
--'''[[ComicBooks/MiniMonsters David Ramirez]]''', about [[SpoiledBrat Victor]] and [[GadgeteerGenius Frank]]'s relationship.

->''No, you guys don't need to kill me more. [[{{LetsPlay/Chuggaaconroy}} Chugga]] needs to kill me more. You guys are fine.'' \\
-- '''LetsPlay/ProtonJon''', ''LetsPlay/TheRunawayGuys''

->'''{{Franchise/Sonic|The Hedgehog}}''': What's up, Shadow!\\
'''Shadow''': Not you again.\\
'''Sonic''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Nice to see you, too]]. \\
-- ''VideoGame/ShadowTheHedgehog''

->'''Scott''': How did you know that? \\
'''Kyle''': Because we're his friends. \\
'''Scott''': Then why are you telling me? \\
'''Kyle''': [[TheFriendNobodyLikes Because we hate him.]] \\

->'''Strong Bad:''' I thought we were bros! \\
'''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner:''' Wait, I thought ''I'' thought we were bros, and you're always beating various stuffings out of me. \\
-- ''VideoGame/StrongBadsCoolGameForAttractivePeople'', "Episode 2: Strong Badia The Free"

->'''Genis:''' "Um, what exactly is the relationship between you two, anyway?" \\
'''Sheena:''' "Insufferable!" \\
'''Zelos:''' "Insufferable yet inseparable!" \\
--''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia OVA Tethe'alla Chapter''

->'''Gen:''' You can't kill me! I'm your best friend! \\
'''Usagi:''' ''Grrrr...'' So you keep telling me! \\
-- ''ComicBook/UsagiYojimbo''

->'''Kitty Pryde''': Disappointed, Ms. Frost? \\
'''Emma Frost''': Astonished, Ms. Pryde. \\
-- ''ComicBook/{{X-Men}}''

->'''Yugi:''' No, I was talking about the time I saved you from that bully! \\
'''Joey:''' Oh... eh, no, no I don't remember that. \\
'''Yugi:''' But I was all heroic and stuff... \\
'''Joey:''' ...Hey, remember the time me and Tristan took your millennium puzzle? \\
'''Tristan and Joey from flashback:''' Tooooormeeeeeent! \\
'''Yugi:''' ...Remind me why we're friends again? \\
-- '''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries''' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGAl9__U8Uk&feature=plcp Episode 3]]

->"The things I do for friends I can't stand." \\
--'''{{Taskmaster}}''' referring to SelfDemonstrating/{{Deadpool}}

->''If Im not being emotionally abused then how do I know its friendship?'' \\
-- '''Jonasson''', creator of ''Webcomic/TwoGuysAndGuy'' commenting on [[http://www.twogag.com/archives/1373 strip 084]]

->'''Flavius''' ''(about Spock and [=McCoy=])'': Are they enemies? \\
'''Kirk''': I'm not sure ''they're'' sure. \\
--''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'', "Bread and Circuses."

->'''Goku:''' Hey Vegeta, we're friends now, right? \\
'''Vegeta:''' F**k off. \\
'''Goku:''' The best! \\

->''My Ally advantage and Archenemy flaw can't both represent the same person.'' \\
--''Blog/ThingsMrWelchIsNoLongerAllowedToDoinanRPG'' #1444

->Shes a flighty good time buddy in the corner of the bar \\
But shed fight the Devil for ya just for being who you are \\
And shes the last to cast a stone though shed love to leave you mad \\
Aw shes every friend Ive ever had \\
-- "Every Girl" by Turnpike Troubadours

->''Everyone has at least one dear old friend they generally just can't stand, and for Yuuno and Chrono, this was each other. There were Best Enemies Forever.''
-->--''FanFic/{{Infinity}}'', Chapter 38

->'''Yamanaka:''' [Komori and I] just looked close because we're both kind people.\\
'''Ootoni:''' You're not kind to me. \\
'''Yamanaka:''' That's because you're my best friend.