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Scary German Guy: Are you absolutely sure that she is a...
Patrick: You're not a virgin, are you?
[Patrick's sister shakes her head sadly]
Patrick: No? What do you mean, no?!
Patrick's sister: Well, Steve...but, but he doesn't count!
Patrick: Doesn't count?!

Unicorns aren't Mythical. Virgins are.
— Button at a Sci-Fi Convention.

Seriff: We need a virgin.
Debbie: An unsoiled maiden? You got to be kidding, man ...I've been a cheerleader for three years!
Satan's Cheerleaders

"He came and it went."
SB Sarah, reviewing Night Pleasures by Sherrilyn Kenyon

Imp: Have you tried adding virgin's blood to your spell reagents?
Wizard: How could that possibly affect the spell?
Imp: I don't know, exactly... But I find that virgin's blood is kind of like table salt: you can't go wrong with a little sprinkle here or there.

No Ultimate Incantation that requires sacrifice of a Virgin is worth the trouble of a) securing such a rarity and b) relying on a quality that is so easily cured by an amorous Hero or Heroine in less than a minute of stolen time.
Evil Empress Guide

Priestesses always call themselves virgins. They have to clothe themselves in mystery.

Quentin: Listen. I don't want to pry, but I'm assuming you have some secret magical way of dealing with the negative health effects of all those cigarettes.
Eliot: It's kind of you to ask. I sacrifice a virgin schoolgirl every other fortnight by the light of a gibbous moon, using a silver scalpel forged by Swiss albinos. Who are also virgins. Clears my little lungs right up.

"You just fucked with the wrong virgin!"
Max Cartwright, The Final Girls

Steve Lichman: [To the Barbarian Hero trying ineffectually to kill him] You said you were pure of heart.
Hero: Well, I am pure of heart.
Steve: NO NO NO. You had sex man. Get the fuck outta here.
Hero: This isn't over yet Lich...
Steve: It's over asshole. Unless you can unfuck that girl, it's over. Goddamnit.

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