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Quotes: Villain Ball
"And so apparently the world was once again saved due to the villains being totally incompetent. Now onto weather..."
Television set, being watched by Dan's Author Avatar in the El Goonish Shive strip Too Tired to Care

David: To be fair, all of this takes place in a virtual world, this isnít even the real Lois...Which, of course, makes me ask: exactly WHY DID THE GOVERNMENT PUT LOIS LANE IN THE SAME VIRTUAL WORLD AS LIKE FORTY SUPERHEROES?!
Chris: They were trying to figure out a way to take away her powers. Which I think could be accomplished by padlocking her Sexy Costume Closet.
Chris Sims and David Uzumeri' on Smallville ("Collateral")

"For all you aspiring villains, remember: When victory is just a push of a button away, you are required to complicate the matter in the most ridiculous way possible."
Cracked.com, "The 5 Most Needlessly Evil Super Villain Strategies"

Anubis: Silence! Now, after 5000 years of waiting, I'm going to challenge you to a children's card game! And then I'll destroy the world!
Yami: Why would you want to do that?
Anubis: What?
Yami: What's the point in destroying the world? What do you gain from it?
Anubis: ...I don't understand the question.
Yami: Look, you must have some reason for wanting to destroy the world. Otherwise, this whole movie was just pointless bickering!
Anubis: Of course I have a reason!
Yami: Oh, goodie! Do you feel like sharing it with the class?
Anubis: No, it's a secret.
Yami: You're the most disappointing movie villain since General Grievous.

"Sinister makes a last-ditch effort to stop the X-Men by reasserting his mind control over Morph, and man, how desperate do you have to be for an escape plan when you have to use Morph for something that does not explicitly involve shape-shifting? Instead, the idea is that Morph will pick up a Star Trek phaser and just shoot Cyclops. Itís dumb, but thereís a level where I admire its simplicity.

Fortunately for the X-Men, Sinister forgot that they have the worldís most powerful telepath sitting right there on the floor, and thatís pretty much that for this whole mind control nonsense."
Chris Sims on X-Men, "The Reunion Part. 2"

"For as much as this guy talks about being the best hit man, he really sucks. (Mickey) Rourke isnít all that menacing, his character comes up with stupid plans, he has no real problem solving abilities, and he canít learn to shut up and shoot his targets. Now that may be the point of the book... that he believes he is the best but is utterly incompetent but I highly doubt that. Every fed/mob character try to play him up as the next Anton Chigurh and yet every one of his plans go completely tits up on him."

Hagan: "Ritter goes off to start a fire and smoke out Chris and, it's a good plan — I'm sure it'll fuck up somehow."
(Mallory walks into the canefield that's about to be burned, instead of waiting for Chris to be flushed out)
Hagan: "Oh, that was fast. Fuck-up achieved."

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