Quotes / Vice City

Anime and Manga

There’s a noose that hangs at the entrance to the city. It’s a message to be read by all who encounter it. For the cautious, the sane, it’s a warning. For the reckless, the wild at heart, an invitation...the edge of the world, the crucible of hypocrisy, a place where those whose souls have been destroyed in the relentless search for money and power reside. A final stop on the way to hell.

Comic Books

The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists, and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, 'Save us!'...and I’ll look down and whisper, 'No'
Rorschach, Watchmen

I can see a blatantly unarmed Transient man with half his face hanging off, and three cops working him over anyway. One of them is groping his own erection.
I’m sorry. Is that too harsh an observation for you? Does that sound too much like the truth?
Fuck you.
If anyone in this shithole city gave two tugs of a dead dog’s crotch about Truth, this wouldn’t be happening.
Spider Jeruselem, Transmetropolitan

Film — Live-action

Old Detroit has a cancer. That cancer is crime.
Old Man, RoboCop (1987)

Harvey Dent (on television): Together, we can make this city safe for decent people!
Jack Napier: Decent people shouldn't live here. They'd be happier some place else.

Liquor store owner: Three tours in the sandbox, not so much as a scratch. (at wheelchair) I come home to this shit.
Frank Castle: Always a war on somewhere.

Live-action TV

Keppler: Hear you got one of the fastest growing murder rates in the country.
Brass: We're very competitive!
CSI, "Sweet Jane"

If we had to steer clear of every chow house owned by the wiseguys, we'd have to eat all our lunches at the automat.
Stavros, Kojak ("Monkey on a String")

Are hard narcotics part of some heath care plan? They're so easy to get in this city.
Gunter, Bullet in the Face

It's simple math...Between us, we represent 650 soldiers. Y'all know how many cops come to the 55th Precinct a day? Seventy. And that's only if they all show up.
Dante, Third Watch ("Kingpin Rising")

Guzman: In Cali, we have ordered the deaths of judges, senators, priests, even a presidential candidate. You think we draw the line at an Assistant District Attorney?
Wainwright: This is not Cali!
Guzman: It is now.
Kojak, "It's Always Something"

Stand-up Comedy

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.


They "do" nothing, Countess. They feel nothing, make nothing, give nothing. The poets, the jugglers, the innocents, all are disappearing. The world’s been taken over by the pimps. The rest of us are finished. They want to make us all like them.
Ragpicker, The Madwoman of Chaillot

Video Games

Great people here! You can trust everything they say!

Ken: What did you find out?
Tommy: That there are more criminals in this town than in prison.

Doctor: Did he die of natural causes?
Niko: A gunshot to the head. I guess that's pretty natural for this town.

Dexter Industries, the Cougars, the police.... Hope is a town under siege. Someone ought to clean the place up. But I am not that man.

So the cops pull me over, and you know what? They couldn't care less about the car. That's the irony! It's some kinda 'If You Drink, Don't Drive' campaign. All they want is for me to blow into a breathalyzer, I kid you not. So with a breath of relief, I take the damn test, and just when it's over, when they're about to wave me on my way—! The cop's eyes zoom in and stop on somethin' stickin' out from under the seat. Game over. A fucking gun! I didn't even know it was there; musta belonged to the owner. Unlicensed! Turns out it's a murder weapon! How fucked up is that?

Web Original

Matt: April wraps up her report and heads home from the station. And as a woman walking home at night, she obviously gets mugged immediately.
Chris: I actually do like that she just kind of stumbles on part of the Silent Crime Wave. Like, she’s not targeted for reporting about it or getting to close to the truth, there’s just so much crime going on that she literally cannot walk 20 feet without running into a gang of toughs ripping monitors out of a news van.
Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

I'm not sure where the writer grew up, but every neighborhood in Traxx seems to be made entirely out of exploding rape. Traxx's solution to this crime problem is to go into seedy locations, kill everyone there and say something like 'Better luck next time, rape!'
Seanbaby, "The Six Most Spectacular Low Points of Pop Culture"

The level of police corruption that exists in Daredevil borders on the absurd. “You find anyone alive, shoot ’em in the head,” the officer overseeing the search shouts. His men reply “got it” and “roger that.” It seems as though the police force in Daredevil is as much a hostile occupying force as a law enforcement agency. The suggestion that most of Hell’s Kitchen police department is a giant roving death squad for Wilson Fisk fits with the atmosphere of the show and explains why Matt feels the need to take the law into his own hands.

The story of Gouda Prime is a gripping one, a planet that draws every crook and swindler in the quadrant to steal its riches. Precisely the sort of place where Blake would be holed up and where Avon and his crew should avoid if they want to live to tell the tale. Precisely the sort of doom-laden planet to set the last episode of Blake's 7 on.
Joe Ford on Blake's 7, "Blake"

Leave it to a Boston fan to take two horrific crimes and use them as a way of complimenting themselves. OW-AHHHH DOUBLE MURDAHS AHHHH NAWT LIKE YOUR-AHHH DOUBLE MURDAHS! It's the double murder that gives our chowder its distinctive coloring! ...If anything, Boston sports teams give Tommy from Quinzee an excuse to get shitfaced and burn down the local Korean packie store.

Drug dealers aren't afraid of saying they're drug dealers here. Every single cartel has its own logo. You join the right one, you might even get a monogrammed tote bag. People brag about their cartel affiliation on Facebook. The cartels post pictures of the corpses of murdered bloggers and opponents, and people 'like' that stuff as if they were adorable cat pictures. It's called narcoculture, and it's what happens when you deal with different murderous gangs long enough that they become like sports teams to you.

The Butcher Blades had hung the Jackdaw from a rusted marlinspike through his jawbone and left him for the quayside scavengers. This was the seventeenth murdered ganger the hooded man had seen tonight. A slow night by Bilgewater's standards.

Web Video

Yahtzee: Yes, we're being mugged for our shoes. 'Cause that's the kind of dystopian future it is: People like having shoes so much, they have getaway vehicles on hand for it. They were planning this heist for months, man!

Real Life

"...a damned crazy place! No one's safe in the streets!"
Charles "Lucky" Luciano on Prohibition-era Chicago

And the pistol's red glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night
That Chicago's still there!
A New York Newspaper parodying the National Anthem