"Great people here! You can trust everything they say!"
Harvey Dent (on television): Together, we can make this city safe for decent people!
Jack Napier: Decent people shouldn't live here. They'd be happier some place else.
"Are hard narcotics part of some heath care plan? They're so easy to get in this city."
—Gunter, Bullet in the Face
"There are more criminals in this town than in prison."
— Tommy Vercetti, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
Doctor: Did he die of natural causes?
Niko: A gunshot to the head. I guess that's pretty natural for this town.
Keppler: Hear you got one of the fastest growing murder rates in the country.
Brass: We're very competitive!
—CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, "Sweet Jane"
"The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists, and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, 'Save us!'...and I’ll look down and whisper, 'No'"
"So the cops pull me over, and you know what? They couldn't care less about the car. That's the irony! It's some kinda 'If You Drink, Don't Drive' campaign. All they want is for me to blow into a breathalyzer, I kid you not. So with a breath of relief, I take the damn test, and just when it's over, when they're about to wave me on my way—! The cop's eyes zoom in and stop on somethin' stickin' out from under the seat. Game over. A fucking gun! I didn't even know it was there; musta belonged to the owner. Unlicensed! Turns out it's a murder weapon! How fucked up is that?"
—Car thief, Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne
"There’s a noose that hangs at the entrance to the city. It’s a message to be read by all who encounter it. For the cautious, the sane, it’s a warning. For the reckless, the wild at heart, an invitation they cannot refuse. The worst of the criminal underworld gather here. They come here from across the world to butt heads and jostle for power. An evil city caught between the east and the west founded during the Cold War and nurtured by many who came here to ride the wave of the illegal drug trade sweeping across the continent. The edge of the world, the crucible of hypocrisy, a place where those whose souls have been destroyed in the relentless search for money and power reside. A final stop on the way to hell."
"When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe."
And the pistol's red glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night
That Chicago's still there!
—A New York Newspaper parodying the National Anthem
“I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.”
Matt: April wraps up her report and heads home from the station. And as a woman walking home at night, she obviously gets mugged immediately.
Chris: I actually do like that she just kind of stumbles on part of the Silent Crime Wave. Like, she’s not targeted for reporting about it or getting to close to the truth, there’s just so much crime going on that she literally cannot walk 20 feet without running into a gang of toughs ripping monitors out of a news van.
"Drug dealers aren't afraid of saying they're drug dealers here. Every single cartel has its own logo. You join the right one, you might even get a monogrammed tote bag. People brag about their cartel affiliation on Facebook. The cartels post pictures of the corpses of murdered bloggers and opponents, and people 'like' that stuff as if they were adorable cat pictures. It's called narcoculture, and it's what happens when you deal with different murderous gangs long enough that they become like sports teams to you."
"I'm not sure where the writer grew up, but every neighborhood in Traxx seems to be made entirely out of exploding rape. Traxx's solution to this crime problem is to go into seedy locations, kill everyone there and say something like 'Better luck next time, rape!'"
—Seanbaby, "The Six Most Spectacular Low Points of Pop Culture"
Yahtzee: Yes, we're being mugged for our shoes. 'Cause that's the kind of dystopian future it is: People like having shoes so much, they have getaway vehicles on hand for it. They were planning this heist for months, man!