Mary Kate: "Dear Diary, Bodyguard and me kissed. It was good and I like dresses. Smiley face. Heart. Outline of her hand. Then she practiced uppercase J's for a few pages... Do you know what this means?!"

Bodyguard: "That she's somewhat literate?"

Mary Kate: "Are you mad at me? Is this about my paper?"

Professor: "Oh, your paper on the Gold Rush? 'oh my god its so gold in here'?"