If two characters
from pop culture had a fight,
who wins, and who dies?
Then Gandalf the Gray and Gandalf the White
And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight,
and Benito Mussolini, and the Blue Meanie
and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk and Darth Vader,
Lo-Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger,
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan,
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock and Hulk Hogan,
All came out of nowhere lightning-fast,
And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw
With civilians looking on in total awe.
"Someone asked me yesterday if Dracula met Saruman and there was a fight who would win. I just looked at this man. What an idiotic thing to say. I mean, really, it was half-witted."
—Christopher Lee apparently has no love for this trope.
I will stop at nothing to kill the Slenderman he thinks he is so much better than me because he kidnaps!
Spock drops Logan like a particularly illogical piece of trash. The Enterprise wouldn't see someone switched off so quickly again until Commander Data arrived.
I don't care if the Hulk could defeat the Man of Steel
I'm gonna rearrange your face if you continue to debate
Whether Logan's claws could pierce Steve Rogers' shield
— Ookla the Mok, "Stop Talking About Comic Books or I'll Kill You"
As the hulk reared back his head, And let forth his great yell,
Popeye didst open his spinach can, And downed it with one swill,
The 2 strong men in children's shows, Were ready to square off,
But then, as they exchanged first blows, A professer in the corner coughed.
He said, "As you can see from this diagram, The multiverse hast been breached,
And because of your two meeting, The surrounding place has reached,
A critical mass, as you might say, And it will start to fill,
With heros who are just like you, And will keep on filling until,
One, triumphant, blazes forth, And he defeats you all,
And so, I say, get yer raincoat on, Because the multiverse's about to squall!
— Grudge Match Comment on Popeye vs. The Incredible Hulk
''SIX LEGENDARY WARRIORS...
...THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER...
...SOME HOW CROSS PATHS TO UNITE...
...AND BATTLE AN INVADING RUSSIAN ARMY.
Shazam: Henceforth it shall be your sacred duty to defend the poor and helpless, right wrongs and crush evil everywhere.
Linkara!Shazam: Also, to constantly get into fights with Superman when the writers want someone who's a match for him.
— Atop the Fourth Wall: Whiz Comics #2