Quotes / Troubling Unchildlike Behavior

Vista: What we do is dangerous. Sometimes we die. I don’t see why I should worry about what happens five years from now when I might not even be here.
Flechette: Are you having second thoughts about being on the team?
Vista: No. Not in the slightest.
Flechette: But if you’re concerned about risking your life…
Vista: I didn’t say I was concerned, just that, hey, it might happen. I’m being realistic.
Flechette: I can’t tell if you’re being amazingly mature about the topic of death or if I should be really concerned about you.

— Worm

"You know, I could kill everyone, if I so chose? If I decided to stand, right here and right now, and kill you all, it would be fully within my power?"

— Glaistig Uaine, Worm

Fran: You wanna go with your sister or your brother?
Gracie: No, I love a doctor's office. The smell, the magazines, the drama, it makes me feel so alive!
Sylvia: Oh, isn't she adorable? [to Fran] The kid is weird.

— The Nanny

"As a bookish child, I accidentally intoned a death curse that claimed my mother, our neighbours, and a passing couple in the street... though it spared their small russet dog. I was young, and needed the knowledge."

—Hayden Montag, The Secret World

"Remember back when you were a kid, and you would spend whole summers just finding dead bodies in the woods and pushing them down the river, laughing and high-fiving with your friends? It's time you get that feeling back. Floater lets you relive the magic of sending some unfortunate drifter down the great river one last time, as you poke and prod him through the rapids into one final waterfall of memories."

— The plot to Floater

"There was one time when we were children, he... he transformed himself into a snake, and he knows that I love snakes. So I went to pick up the snake to admire it, and he transformed back into himself and he was like, 'BLEGH, it's me!' Then he stabbed me. We were eight at the time."

— Thor about his brother Loki, Thor: Ragnarok

Jennings: He'd be a real good brother if he didn't drink and get real mean and argue with Mom.
Mark: He drinks? How old is he?
Jennings: Fifteen.
Mark: Fifteen? And he drinks!

— They Cage the Animals at Night

Q: If you eat yourself, how would you digest your own stomach?
Gin: How the fuck are you under 15?
Q: I'm very mature for my age.

— This fanpost of Bungo Stray Dogs

Goku: Alright, Gohan, I think it's time you brought 'er home!
Gohan: Hold on. I'm not done ripping the wings off this butterfly.
Piccolo: Red flag!
Goku: Uh... kiddo? I understand you're angry, but-
Gohan: But what? You're going to give me advice now? Let me guess...I should let him go so he can be a better fight later! Or maybe I should let him power up to 100% so I could teach him humility! Wait! I know... I should throw him a goddamn Senzu Bean and let you fight him!
Goku: I... see what you're getting at, Gohan.
Gohan: Then shut up and put on your poncho. You're in the splash zone.
Goku: Is that also a red flag?
Piccolo: Crimson.

— Dragon Ball Z Abridged

"Enterprising girl. She hasn't even hit puberty and she's already abusing prescription meds."

—Dr Kiln, The Land of What Might-Have-Been

General Levy: Does it ever seem to you that these boys aren't children? I look at what they do, the way they talk, and they don't seem like little kids.
Colonel Graff: They're the most brilliant children in the world, each in their own way.
General Levy: But shouldn't they still act like children? They aren't normal. They act like – history. Napoleon and Wellington. Caesar and Brutus.

—Ender's Game

"I just want you all to remember that this amount of death and destruction and carnage? All at the hands of a ten-year-old boy."

—Diamondbolt, "BOOTLEG BEN 10 GAMES (w/ KuroTheArtist!)"

Zero still wasn’t sure why she had agreed to this in the first place; there was something about the whole “good Catholic girl” act Four had adopted that Zero didn’t trust a bit. Especially when she still had vivid memories of Four burning ant hills and snapping squirrel necks as a child.

— Family Business, a Drakengard 3 fic

"They grow up fast. Seems like you blink and they're asking you where you keep the knives, and how much pressure it takes to open a man's throat. She'll miss you more as she gets older."

—Enid Healy about her three-year-old granddaughter, InCryptid "Bury Me in Satin"

When I was younger, just a bad little kid
My mama noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a BB gun
I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head
That's when my mama said

— Orin Scrivello, Little Shop of Horrors, "Dentist!"

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