Quotes from works
"No, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people talk. You don't say "affirmative," or some shit like that. You say "no problemo." And if someone comes on to you with an attitude, you say "eat me." And if you want to shine them on it's "hasta la vista, baby."
Snake: Something about that hedgehog rubs me the wrong way...
Otacon: ...? Oh, you mean Sonic the Hedgehog? But everyone loves Sonic. He's a big star. Do you have any idea how excited people are that he's here in Brawl?
Snake: Yeah, I know, but there's something about him I just don't like.
Otacon: But...why? You must have some kind of reason.
Snake: ...Nope, I just don't like him.
"The best part of getting older is gonna be intentionally misusing slang around teenagers just to make them squirm."
Jessie: (disguised as a Valley Girl) It'll be a radical party! All of the most radical Pokémon trainers will be there!
Ash Ketchum: (to Misty) Do you know anyone who says "radical" anymore?
— Pokémon, "Battle Aboard the St. Anne"
It was a gnarly day for extreme-minded dropout Harry Stoner when a totally brutal wipeout left his skin fused with the street. He then somehow got super-strength and became known as Cobblestone.
Fred: Every time you turn around they've changed the language! How are we supposed to keep up?
Marie: Oh, don't be such a buzz crusher!
Black-haired brownie troop girl: Killjoy! Party pooper! Wet blanket!
Fred: That does it!! What was wrong with last year's lingo?
Marie: It was last year's!!
Fred: What happened to hip, hep, jerk, nerd, wimp?
Melissa: Totally random, sir!
Archie: That means, it makes no sense, pop!
Fred: Neither does this conversation!!
— Archie Comics, "Lingo Lesson"
"Seriously, dad, who says 'dude' any more?"
— Josh Stevenson, Waterloo Road
A.R.: You are ripping up so many hellaceous shreds this fierceshitty biznasty is getting so deliriously rudebrazen it... Ok you lost the handle on that sentence.
Quotes from creators
"Never use old slang. Slang, to be enjoyable, must be fresh."
— Ernest Hemingway, Kansas City (Mo.) Star Manual of Style
"Despite the many hours of literary labor, Nixon's style was seldom felicitous... "to see it like it is, and to tell it like it is," argot just slightly wrong for now but to Nixon "tell it like it is" must sound positively raunchy, the sort of thing that had he been classy Jack Kennedy he might have heard at Vegas, sitting around with the Clan and their back-scratchers."
— Gore Vidal, "The Twenty-Ninth Republican Convention"
Quotes on works
"In Doritos' defense, the early aughts were a terrible time for all of us. I tried to figure out when specifically this had happened, and I came to the perhaps not all that surprising conclusion that Doritos appears to have attempted to expunge all evidence of the Cooler Ranchening from the internet. The only place I could even find a mention of it happening was on Doritos' Wikipedia page — they appear to have disavowed all knowledge of the time they committed an unspeakable crime against grammar in the name of edgy marketing. You can find images online, like the one I'm using here, but they're invariably grainy and outdated. They're basically the Zapruder Footage of corn chips."
"Ooh, I think I'm gonna hate Wheeler. The other characters are passable, but he is just obnoxious."
"One of the categories on Monday night’s episode of Jeopardy! was called It’s A Rap and all the questions-phrased-as-answers were song lyrics that Alex Trebek was forced to – quote unquote – rap. And I say forced, because he sounded like he had a gun held to his head; there was about as much rhythmic flow as a prisoner of war during the filming of a hostage video. I think the highlights are definitely towards the end, when Alex Trebek tries his hand at Dr. Dre’s 'Nuthin but a G Thang' (he pronounces nuthin’ as nuttin’, which could only be made funnier if he pronounced it nutting, but that’s a completely different song all together) and when he raps the lyrics to Public Enemy’s 'Timebomb 'and drops the R from car.... Wait a second…the category was called It’s A Rap? ‘It’s A Rap’ also happens to be the name of Robert Goulet’s rap album in the Will Ferrell SNL sketch of the same name (actually, the full title is The Coconut Bangers’ Ball: It’s A Rap). And Will Ferrell also used to play Alex Trebek in the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy sketches. FULL CIRCLE."
—DListed, “I’ll Take Straight Thuggin’ For $1000, Alex”
"This sort of thing is what happens when a bunch of white shut-ins try to be hip. [Beat] And do so with fish."
"This film was the result of an avalanche of unfortunate decisions. We'll never see anything like Cool As Ice again. It was based around such a rapidly fleeting concept of cool that by the time it hit theaters, it was less of a culture shock to walk in on a slave auction. After they finished this story of Vanilla Ice as himself the motorcycle crimefighter, there was enough unintentional comedy that they had to give irony a producer credit."
"Ice-T is in this movie. Suddenly, I have more street cred than Ice T."
Ugh, I know it's the '80s, but something tells me this dialogue was dated in the '80s."
Chris: Martin sounds exactly like a middle-aged white dude trying to write an authentic inner-city black kid and basing it entirely on cartoons from the ’90s. He’s seriously one 'that’s wack!' away from just collapsing under the weight of it.
David: I had to stop the movie and cry in the bathroom as soon as he quoted the chorus of “C.R.E.A.M.”
"It's arguably the case that nothing is more horrific than the title screen of The Great Waldo Search, a memorable entry into the canon of 'the terrible things that happen when white people attempt to insert rap into things.' Bad chipset music with a bad synthesized voice shouting 'Where's Waldo' at frequent intervals. In that exact tone that evokes 'Oh God, white people hired a black guy to add a brief moment of rap to this in order to make it cool.' For other examples, try REM's 'Radio Song' or, of course, Don't Copy That Floppy."
"It's like one half of the game was written by fairly smart game writers who knew what they were doing, and the other half was written by out-of-touch 40-year-olds trying to appeal to the 19-years-olds on 4Chan."
"There are only two emotions Zell seems to be capable of: OHHHHH YEEEEEAAAHHH and AWWWWWW MAAANNNNNN. "
—Pat R., "A Series Discovers Its Crack Pipe"
Johnny Storm: Like wow, brother-in-law! That's the gearest!
Adam: Ok, maybe "reet" is a word, and there is actually some historical basis to "Sportin' Life." Anyone want to try and explain, "That's the gearest"?
Mom: what viol8s code?
Reg: The fact that you just spelled “violates” as “viol8s” causes me physical pain.
Mom: i txt liek the cool kids
‘See’ Jonas said to O’Neill. ‘There’s a passage over there which says Ra is a righteous dude and Anubis is bogus’ he declared, pointing to the far wall.
‘Now I know you’re making this up’ O’Neill responded disbelievingly.