Yahtzee: There's a conversation going on here in which it states that Conrad has a girlfriend. Now, this was a plot point that was only mentioned in the original game, in the tie-in comic book that came with it. But the girlfriend is kind of mysteriously vanished by the time of the actual game, and no one ever brings her up. You'll notice they made a few changes to that aspect in this remake, because there has to be a love interest. Otherwise, everyone might think Conrad (justifiably) prefers a cock in his mouth.
Gabriel: (sigh) Or...just doesn't have a girlfriend...? Or, y'know, to get the girls to play. Because woman only understand things though the vector of relationships.
"Why does a love interest subplot have to be shoehorned into everything? Imagine if there was some kind of parallel universe where every game and movie regardless of genre was required to incorporate at least one line dancing competition. We'd think they were all raving lunatics, and yet here's us forcing in an out of place cheesy romance scene that's more agonizingly painful to watch than any of the actual horror that the game is supposed to be about."
"Trish, I've known you for five minutes, you've tried to kill me three times, you wrecked my store, you have zero storyline significance, and...overall you've been an mean and unsupporting person to me, BUT I LOVE YOU!"