Quotes / Timey-Wimey Ball

"I hate time travel."

"See, that's the thing about time travel, Barry. The more you do it, the less the rules apply to you!"
Savitar, The Flash (2014)

Flash: I watched you die!
Reverse-Flash: Or did you? Time travel, Barry - so very confusing. I always seem to be saying that to you, don't I?

"Most people think that time is like a river, that flows swift and sure in one direction... but I have seen the face of time, and I can tell you; they are wrong. Time is an ocean in a storm."

"I don't want to talk about time travel shit. Because if we talk about time travel shit then we're gonna be here all day, drawing diagrams with straws."
Old Joe, Looper

"When a Tralfamadorian sees a corpse, all he thinks is that the dead person is in bad condition in the particular moment, but that the same person is just fine in plenty of other moments. Now, when I myself hear that somebody is dead, I simply shrug and say what the Tralfamadorians say about dead people, which is 'So it goes.'"
Billy Pilgrim, Slaughterhouse-Five

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly... timey-wimey... stuff."
The Doctor, giving us the Trope Namer in Doctor Who

"Okay, kid. This is is where it gets complicated."
Amy Pond to her younger alternate-universe self, in the midst of one of the most convoluted time-SNAFUs imaginable, also in Doctor Who

"Time and space are never ever going to make any kind of sense. Now you received the past possible advice on how to deal with this so I suggest (Opens the T.A.R.D.I.S' doors) you go and give it." note 
The Doctor explaining the confusion inherent with Ripple Proof Memory in Doctor Who

"Time isn't a straight line, it's all... bumpy-wumpy. there's loads of boring stuff, like sundays and tuesdays and thursday afternoons."
The Doctor, they really love this trope over in Doctor Who

GA: Why Is It That When The Subject Of Temporal Mechanics Is Broached Your Sparing Human Intellects Instantly Assume The Most Ingratiating Posture Of Surrender Imaginable
Kanaya Maryam, Homestuck, after a conversation with John.

"I hate temporal mechanics!"
Future!O'Brien and Present!O'Brien (or would that be Present!O'Brien and Past!O'Brien?), Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Visionary

TG: the thing with time travel is
TG: you cant overthink it
TG: just roll with it and see what happens
TG: and above all try not to do anything retarded
Dave Strider, Homestuck, explaining his theory on temporal mechanics.

— The narrator describing Hearts Boxcars's stance on temporal mechanics.

"When you're dealing with time travel it's important to establish whose rules are in play. Is this 12 Monkeys rules where you can't change shit? Or Back to the Future rules where you can change shit but the time line is kind of easygoing about it? Or Terminator rules where you can change shit, but then maybe you can't change shit, and then you make a God-awful TV series and Christian Bale yells at someone?"
Yahtzee, reviewing Darkest of Days

"By the way, this won't change history at all. Let's go around blowing people up. Let's kill some ancestors. That's real great. As long as it doesn't affect the Wyld Stallyns concert! When they come back to the present, it's gonna be some kind of Planet of the Apes shit! They're going to be playing to an audience of intelligent sloths!"

"Time is a tangled web. Try not to dwell on all the loose ends."
Nozdormu, Dragon Aspect of Time, World of Warcraft

"That's the problem with time travel. Everything's different when you get back."
Lina Inverse, Slayers Perfect

"Time is like a deluxe-model sexbot. It exists only to be screwed in every possible way."
SF Debris on Star Trek Voyager, "Relativity"

"Time isn't a straight line. It's more like a David Lynch movie. It's this wandering, meandering thing that just goes in all directions and if you're very lucky, by the end you'll see some boobies, and maybe some little people."

"[Asagi Whisperwynds] said time's flexibles. Long as y'don' try tah break it completelys with time paradocs an' misplacin' important peoples, it'll mend itself. Soooooooooo jus' go fer it."
Nozumi Whisperwynds, We Are Our Avatars

Doc: Well, good luck for both our sakes. See you in the future.
Marty: ...you mean the past?
Doc: Exactly!

"Time travel. Ever since my first day in the job as a Starfleet captain I swore I'm never let myself get caught in one of these godforsaken paradoxes. The future is the past, the past is the future. It all gives me a headache."
Captain Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager, "Future's End"

"Time travel, man! Why ya' gotta be so complicated!?"
Mabel Pines, Gravity Falls, Blendin's Game.

Cecil: Wait, don't you have to bring me back in time in order for this to work?
Bugs: Eh, yes, normally. But for a bunch of time travel reasons you wouldn't understand, uh, we're gonna do it this way.

Colossus: Let us go talk to the Professor.
Ron Stoppable: Time travel: It's a cornucopia of disturbing concepts.
Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time

Dr. Tanga: We don't travel through time, but around it. Do you understand?
Private Penn: I don't, but maybe he does. [pointing to Pvt. Philbrick] He has a warped mind.
Invasion of the Star Creatures (1962)