"Some call our realm a world of shadows, but that makes it sound unpleasant...The twilight there holds a serene beauty...you have seen it yourself as the sun sets on this world. Bathed in that light, all people were pure and gentle...But things changed once that foul power pervaded our world..."
The nerdy kid: Did you see the latest Nintendo newsletter?
His friend: WOW! Nice graphics, I want to get my hands on that game!
The nerdy kids: You mean you have NOT played it, yet?!? We can play it on my Nintendo Entertainment System. (As he raps) "It's the Legend of Zelda and it's really rad, those creatures from Gannon are pretty bad, Octoroks, tektites, levers too, with your help our hero pulls through. Yeah, go Link, yeah, get some, awesome! Intense!"
—Link, in any of his 3D games
"An ally of justice!"
—Link, describing himself to Mila in The Wind Waker
—Link, calling to any companion he takes on in a dungeon in The Wind Waker
"Please forgive me!"
—Link, apologizing to Hena in Twilight Princess
MANY YEARS AGO, PRINCE
DARKNESS "GANNON", STOLE
ONE OF THE TRIFORCE WITH
POWER. PRINCESS ZELDA HAD
ONE OF THE TRIFORCE WITH
WISDOM. SHE DIVIDED IT INTO
"8" UNITS TO HIDE IT FROM "GANNON"
BEFORE SHE WAS CAPTURED.
GO FIND THE "8" UNITS,
LONG AGO, GANON, PRINCE
OF DARKNESS, STOLE THE
TRIFORCE OF POWER.
PRINCESS ZELDA OF HYRULE
BROKE THE TRIFORCE OF
WISDOM INTO EIGHT PIECES
AND HID THEM FROM GANON
BEFORE SHE WAS KIDNAPPED
BY GANON'S MINIONS.
LINK, YOU MUST FIND THE
SEVERAL YEARS AFTER GANNON
WAS DESTROYED, LINK LEARNS
FROM IMPA ABOUT THE ANOTH-
ER SLEEPING PRINCESS ZELDA.
HE IS TOLD SHE CAN ONLY
AWAKEN WITH THE NO.3 TRY-
FORCE SEALED IN THE GREAT
SANCTUARY AT DISVALLEY. TO
REMOVE THE SEAL, CRYSTALS
MUST BE EMBEDDED INTO A
STONE STATUE STANDING IN
LINK SETS OUT ON AN
- ADVENTUROUS QUEST…
—Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (Original Japanese intro)
I Am Error
—Error of Ruto
Whenever there's a meeting, a parting is sure to follow. However, that parting need not last forever. Whether that parting is forever or only for a short time, that is up to you.
—The Happy Mask Salesman, The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Everyone barely registers his presence. They don't expect him to save the world, and many don't seem to realize it needs saving at all. He disguises himself as a Goron and a Zora various times when he's saving their various respective lands, and so his actions get attributed to whoever he's disguised as. Link himself ghosts through life invisible, a permanent outsider wearing whatever face he needs to gain trust so he can steal everyone's shit without ever permanently affecting their lives. It's like Quantum Leap for bastards.
My son... gives me Helpful Nintendo Hints that are far too complex for the adult mind to comprehend. Here's a verbatim example: "OK, there's Ganon and miniature Ganon and there's these things like jelly beans and the miniature Ganon is more powerfuller, because when you touch him the flying eagles come down and the octopus shoots red rocks and the swamp takes longer." And the hell of it is, I know he's right.
—Dave Barry, describing what may very well be Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, "Un Nintended Benefits"
King Harkinian: Mah boi, this peace is what all true warriors strive for!
Harkinian: Hmm... How can we help?
Link: Great! I'll grab my stuff!
Link: How about a kiss, for luck?
Zelda: You've got to be kidding me.
Gwonam: Squadallah, we're off!
Link: Whoah, what are all those heads?
Gwonam: These are the Faces of Evil. You must conquer each.
Link: I guess I better get going!
Gwonam: Here is the map. Where do you wish to go?
King Harkinian: Zelda, Duke Onkled is under attack by the evil forces of Ganon! I'm going to Gamelon to aid him!
Zelda: But Father! What if something happens to you?
King Harkinian: I'll take the Triforce of Courage to protect me. If you don't hear from me in a month, send Link.
Impa: Don't worry, Zelda - the Triforce of Wisdom promises that the King will return safely.
Link: Oh boy! I'm so hungry, I could eat an octorok!
"Many games have a story, only one is a legend."
—The Legend of Zelda: Collectors Edition
Zelda is a game where you swing your fuckin' sword at some pigs or whatever. There's bombs and triangles. Get three triangles! You win!