Welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain.
I hope that you've enjoyed your stay so far.
I see you've met my assistant Scarface.
His appearance is quite disturbing,
But I assure you he's harmless enough.
He's a sweetheart, calls me master,
And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me.
— Jonathan Coulton, "Skullcrusher Mountain"
The sound comes from the far corner. Radu and Mikhail, Alexei's szlachta, shamble in tandem from the shadows. They are bipedal, for they must move to obey their master's commands, and they have arms and hands to assist their master in its tasks; but otherwise, Alexei has taken great liberties with their anatomy. Giger or Goya could hardly have rivaled Alexei's creativity.
"Down!" Alexei hisses. The pair flinch back into the shadows. "When I need your services, I shall tell you. When I decide to feed you, I shall. Until then, begone!"