Cellophane, Mister Cellophane,
Shoulda been my name, Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me,
Walk right by me,
And never know I'm there!
: I'm a generic guy. I dunno why I'm here. Dilmom
: I say we whack the generic guy.
Everybody should have at least one ordinary friend, and Dan is as ordinary as they come. He is so ordinary that most people have to meet him six or seven times before they remember his name ... One time for a computer project I scanned a whole bunch of student photos from the yearbook, then used a graphics program to morph them into a single face. What I got looked like a slightly fuzzy version of Dan Grant.
— Jason, Godless
He's an ordinary average guy
There was nothing. No one knew anything about him... There were like two lines about Bashir in the original bible, and sort of six pages for every other character... There had to be a doctor on the show, because there's always
a doctor on the show. And they were just sort of scratching their heads about who this doctor was going to be.
Astonishing that in seven years Harry Kim goes nowhere. Its like the character is stuck in stasis, always an eager young nobody
who wants to grow up and advance his career but never quite making it
up the next step of the ladder. Paris is promoted and demoted, hooks up with Bílanna and has a kid in the time that Harry Kim gets no development whatsoever. Take his first scene and his last scene in this series and he is exactly the same person doing exactly the same things.
Iíve always liked that while Wolverine, Beast and Gambit have actual logos (and even Jubilee gets a Varsity-style font), Cyclops is introduced by just shooting optic blasts at nothing while his name hovers above in what might as well be Comic Sans.'Yeah, we know this dudeís boring,' says this intro, 'but thereís a dude with knives on his hands in a second, so keep watching.'
X-fans are divided on their opinion of the X-Men's field leader, Cyclops. Half think he's a boring killjoy
whose real superpower is self-righteous repression. The rest liken him to Batman (minus the billionaire bank account & awesome spirit animal
) because of his strategic mind and extreme determination. The filmmakers are unwaveringly the former camp. So if you ever thought Cyclops was cool, the X-Men
movies will try their damnedest to cure you of this delusion. In the first X-Men
, there's zero evidence
that he deserves to lead the team or Jean's love. (There's a deleted scene where he commands Wolverine to wear one of his old leather uniforms, which shifts the dynamics
of the love triangle).
Winston is dead weight. Jay: (laughs)
I watched the cartoon
all the time as a kid, but I don't remember it much anymore. But did Winston have more to do in the cartoon? Rich:
Yeah. I mean, they all kinda had equal screen time in the cartoon. Jay:
Did he have more of a character
in the cartoon? Rich:
He was still The Other Ghostbuster
The down-to-earth one.
At the heart of all of this is the idea of Martha, which is, of course, also at the heart of one of Doctor Who
ís great Problem Seasons... Martha, in most regards, seems the forgotten companion - the one that didnít quite work. Thatís not to say she doesnít have her fans and admirers, nor that those fans are wrong. But they are swimming against the tide, and the show itself contributes to that tide.
Coulsonís right hand man is Grant Ward (Brett Dalton), whoís the muscles of the team, and about as expressive as a cardboard box full of styrofoam peanuts. In six episodes, the most intimate detail weíve learned about him is that when he was a little kid, his older brother beat him up over a piece of cake.
A fitting counterpoint to Clark as a teenager, she should really have died at the end of season three, I still attest. After that, she and Lois were essentially the same character
. Lois became her 'hotter
' replacement, which I am still hacked off about.
Unsure of what to do about that, the show tried numerous roles for her. Computer nerd. Girlfriend of every tertiary cast member (Jimmy
, Davis, eventually Green Arrow
). In the end, she was just there as another piece on the board to no real end...She uh, does computers. And helped kill people
. And dated Green Arrow because he was the last guy in the room. Then left.
That's not an arc.