Quotes / The Dung Ages

Edmund: Give the likes of Baldrick the vote and it'll be back to cavorting druids, death by stoning and dung for dinner.
Baldrick: Oh I'm having dung for dinner tonight.
Blackadder the Third, "Dish and Dishonesty"

"But nothing is going to cure that ugly mug, son. Maybe you'd want to invent some orthodontia."

"All that about the thunder of the drums, sunlight flashing on armor, magnificent destriers snorting and prancing? Well, the drums give me headaches, the sunlight flashing on my armor cooked me up like a harvest day goose, and those magnificent destriers shit everywhere."
Tyrion Lannister, A Clash of Kings

This is the medieval ages: the smell of drunkards, feces and urine, of horses and mules and other animals all mixed together. It was the butcher hanging his still-bleeding wares in the street raw, the woman gossiping out of windows to each other and air-drying their laundry over the lane, men carrying swords at their hips and eyeing everyone they saw, and open sewers down the sides of the street. It was the tankards in the pub window and the pints in the other pub two doors down. It was in the retched filth lying in the gutters and alleys, the complete ignorance of hygiene or respect for other life, and the men passed out next to barrels of ale.
Maddie, Home with the Fairies, Chapter 3 "Where Many Paths and Errands Meet"

...the actual Renaissance in no way resembled today's Renaissance fairs. Nobody took Visa, and the average person didn't live past twenty seven; it was an entire planet of Real World cast members. You either died of plague or were burned alive for being a witch. Such inauspicious circumstances gave rise to the murder ballad.
Tom Reynolds, I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You've Ever Heard

Large Man: Who's that, then?
Dead Collector: I dunno. Must be a king.
Large Man: How can you tell?
Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him!

Lindybeige: "Ironclad shows us the familiar Hollywood image of Medieval Times in which all peasants are covered in mud, and everyone wears brown—Unless they're baddies, in which case they wear black."
Ironclad: Part Two - costumes

In the period of which we speak, there reigned in the cities a stench barely conceivable to us modern men and women. The streets stank of manure, the courtyards of urine, the stairwells stank of moldering wood and rat droppings, the kitchens of spoiled cabbage and mutton fat; the unaired parlors stank of stale dust, the bedrooms of greasy sheets, damp featherbeds, and the pungently sweet aroma of chamber pots. The stench of sulfur rose from the chimneys, the stench of caustic lyes from the tanneries, and from the slaughterhouses came the stench of congealed blood. People stank of sweat and unwashed clothes; from their mouths came the stench of rotting teeth, from their bellies that of onions, and from their bodies, if they were no longer very young, came the stench of rancid cheese and sour milk and tumorous disease. The rivers stank, the marketplaces stank, the churches stank, it stank beneath the bridges and in the palaces.The peasant stank as did the priest, the apprentice as did his masterís wife, the whole of the aristocracy stank, even the king himself stank, stank like a rank lion, and the queen like an old goat, summer and winter. For in the eighteenth century there was nothing to hinder bacteria busy at decomposition, and so there was no human activity, either constructive or destructive, no manifestation of germinating or decaying life, that was not accompanied by stench.

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