Quotes / The Comically Serious

Beatrice: Are you here to make fun of me too?
Kay: No ma'am. We at the FBI do not have a sense of humor that we are aware of.

"Willie, we...are going...to DIE!

Plastic Man: Was that a joke?
Batman: From a ruthless, obsessive creature of the night? Don't be absurd.
Formerly Known as the Justice League

"This isn't funny, Dean! The voice says I'm almost out of minutes."
Castiel (talking on a cell phone and standing on a street corner), Supernatural

Dean: Cas, I'm human, I need sleep. Just give me, like, four hours, man.
Castiel: ...Four hours? (Dean hangs up) I'll just... wait here, then. (Stands perfectly still, staring off into space)

Garak: Mister Worf, you're no fun at all.
Worf: ...Good.

"I am not interested in having fun."
Tuvok, Star Trek: Voyager

"EDI has a great sense of humor. Or at least a really funny lack of one."
Kasumi Goto, Mass Effect 2

Jade: (to Billie) Okay, okay, sometimes you're no fun at all.
Ayla: (walks in) And speaking of no fun at all, I'm here too.
Billie: But I'm more fun than Ayla, right?
Jade: Oh yeah, everyone's more fun than Ayla.
Ayla: In fact, I'm changing my name to... No Fun Guy!
Billie: Hey Jade, that could be like your arch-enemy.
Ayla: That's right... Giggle Girl! Once I unleash my latest invention, the Federal Tax Code Emulsifier, no one will be having fun ever again!
Jade: Giggle Girl doesn't know the meaning of the word defeat!
Ayla: And she doesn't know the meaning of the word 'rationality' either!
Billie: Or the meaning of the word 'crayon'!
Jade: Giggle Girl does so know the meaning of the word crayon! It's the cute little pink thing I use to write 'No Fun Guy is a big poopyhead' all over your secret lair.
Ayla: D'oh! I knew I shouldn't have shot all those henchmen even after they said they didn't do it...
Jade: Hah! Giggle Girl always defeats the forces of boredom and no-fun-ness!
Ayla: But can she defeat...your next final exam?
Jade: Noooo! Not that!
Billie: (announcer voice) Has No Fun Guy defeated our heroine? Can she find a way out of this hideous trap? Tune in next week for the further adventures of GIGGLE GIRL!

Krusty the Klown: Free comedy tip, Slick: the pie gag's only funny when the sap's got dignity.
(Sees Sideshow Bob)
Krusty the Klown: Like that guy! Hey Hal, pie-job for Lord Autumnbottom there!

Jack: Hey, Optimus, wanna see something funny?
Optimus: No.

Angel: I'm busy....I'm brooding.
Lorne: Oh, you're watching hockey!
Angel: Yeah, but my team is losing.
Angel, "Life of the Party"

Angel: I do not have puppet cancer!
Angel, "Smile Time"

It's hilarious how you have no sense of humor!
Hades to Dark Pit, Kid Icarus: Uprising

We take it seriously; some of us take it quite seriously. That itself is funny.
Christopher Lam of Les Ballets Trockadero De Monte Carlo on the company's drag ballet performances.

Philip Fathom is one of our funniest characters and I don't think we've ever written a single joke for him.
Ben Acker, co-creator of The Thrilling Adventure Hour

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it
Mark Twain, "How to tell a story"

Cassie Cage: Nice miniskirt.
Kotal Kahn: A joke at my expense?
Cassie Cage: Nah, it's yours for free.