Quotes: That Dude in the Suede
From his videos
"I'm here to provide an objective opinion of the anime culture for the discerning viewer. Now anime may still be classed in the "niche" market these days, but it has such variety, such potential, that I'm sure it will make it into the mainstream one day. Now, although I can't say that for sure, it is a subject I want to explore further, but for now I want to show everyone out there just exactly what is on offer with anime."
—Animenia: "Top 11 Anime Openings"
"More people need to know just how good AMVs can get, and they need to be shown just how brillant and layered some of then are, maybe through an easy to understand introduction that explains what they're watching like Masterpiece Theatre except on a much smaller scale. That's it! Scattered over the time that the users give me on the site, i'll present to you the best of the of the best of AMVs. It shall be called: AMV Heaven."
"You know what? Big shock, but not everybody loves anime, in fact there are some that think it sucks alright just meant of popsicle, but you know what? there's actually one thing that unites every single person who has seen an anime, whether it's casual or hardcore, die-hard fan or millitant flamer, there's one universal truth in anime that everyone who has seen it agrees with, that unites us in a way. That truth: It can be flippin' weird!"
"You play the worst Air Guitar I have ever seen. But, I liked the vid. meh, not bad."
"Oh, and it's not like I don't respect your opinion, but i also have to disagree that anime openings are more creative than American intro songs for cartoons, in general. They both have a bunch of good, and not so good, intro themes. Some of my favorite theme songs for animated series are American, just like how some of my favorites are also anime openings."
"This is outstanding. Great editing and acting. Love the curtains."
— Suede's first parody of his Fan Mail in his Comment Special.
"You suck! Why must you rip off The Nostalgia Critic? Every time someone like AVGN and NC show up someone has to copy them!"
"You Rock! I hope you're also going to do reviews, why not review this fine anime?"
"I don't like you! You have a weird accent, and things that are different make me fell threatened. Why don't you act more like the NC?"
"LOL dude amv heaven is great but could you review this anime? I'll lose respect for you and tell the internet that you find boys interesting if you do not."
"You suck! You aren't creative enough to review an anime and I compensate for things outside of my control by putting people who caught a break down."
"Review an anime!"
"I HAET YOU! REVIEW AN AHNEEMAY!"
"I LUV YOU! REVIEW ANIME!"
"So I like your curtains..."
— Suede's Second parody of his Fan Mail on his Trigun Video.
"AHHHHHHH! I'm unclean! AHHHHHHH!"
"Orochimaru; He's a cold-hearted snake and HOLY CRAP he's a woman."
"Nothing is safe! Nowhere is safe! [They'll] come in through your eyeballs and make your joints come to life! You're dead, I'm dead, WE'RE ALL DEAD! [headdesks] Dang, that's creepy!"
Frieza: You ruined everything you Saiyan freakshow! How dare you meddle in my affairs!
Subtitle: WHAR'S MAH METAMUSIL!!?!?
"Hey, Benzaie!, I'll play with you!"
"Hi, guys. This is That Dude in the Suede, sorry for the guerilla-style camerawork but I have to hide in my room because all of my my family are here for Christmas. So, I just want to wish you all Happy Holidays and a great New Year, and below, you will find the links to my AMV Heaven for this Christmas called The Twelve Pains Of Christmas, it's a hilarious video, and it does have Teen Titans in it, but I'm sure you can all find it in your hearts in this festive season to forgive them for that, it's fantastic. Okay, see you all later and Happy Holidays."
— Suede wishing his fans Happy Holidays.
"Hello, my name is That Dude in the Suede. I am a rip-off of That Guy in the Glasses, and proud of it."
"A lot of you probably don't even know who I am. Well, for a while, I was just this guy who loved That Guy in the Glasses and wanted to show them that maybe I could make videos as well. And I succeeded. It was pretty weird. As this website's resident anime reviewer and commentator on anime in general, it was my hope to be just a little bit different and offer anime fans a voice that didn't include those guys who use Windows Movie Maker to make Top Ten Lists and not explain their decisions. So I made Top Ten Lists, and I explained my decisions. But that wasn't all. I also commented on the different facets of anime culture, and I also commented on how some of it's just plain weird. And I also reviewed a couple of anime. I have a great regret that now I cannot review some of my favorites such as Cowboy Bebop, or review the Cowboy Bebop live-action movie with Keanu Reeves. Because That Dude in the Suede is going on hiatus for two years. As those of you who attended my blog-chat know, I'm a Mormon. And as a Mormon, I am taking a two-year mission for my church.
I honestly didn't expect myself to become this popular. I can't help believing what I do, even if this belief sees me cursed. I really do have to go guys, but I really will miss you. I'll definately miss being in the presence of such wonderful comic talents as Doug and Lindsay and the Spoony One—all of the chat pack, you know who you are. Linkara and...there are so many. And...I'm so grateful for all of you guys, and I hope you'll be able to receive me when I get back. Those who wish to fill my position, you must. Wear. Suede. This is That Dude in the Suede saying...I'll miss you guys. Will you miss me?"
Caption boxes: The End of That Dude in the Suede for Two Years. I apologize profusely to all that I forgot to mention. I will miss all of you. I still have tons and tons of ideas, so be ready for a deluge when I return. Oh, and...see you, space cowboy...
"Man I miss these things, oh yeah man, the camera's recording. Hello, this is Suede, i'm here to introduce my brand new video series, i'm going to be reviewing: Ninja Gaiden Σ. Now Ninja Gaiden for the original Xbox was one of my absolute favourite games, it was one of the first games that, I just could not put down until I finished it, it has just like, the smoothest graphics, the, I had no idea that graphics that good could be on the Xbox, and to be that smooth as well. I mean, Shadow of the Colossus had amazing graphics, but it just couldn't handle it's agenda, I heard of the PS3 version, I heard that's good, but. This, this one really pulled it off, it had fantastic graphics, but it also had excellent gameplay and you just felt like, a ninja when you were playing it. I've been wanting to review it for a while, but, I just didn't know the right way to do it, and after seeing how good Spoony does his Lets Plays, I thought:
"Well, heck, why not? I'll try doing that, see if it's popular enough, if it's not, I'll just give it up, but it's okay. I'm just gonna review this and see how it goes".
I want to see, I want to be able to show it cause it really captures the spirit of anime, it's got like the most unrealistic physics yet at the same time it almost feels like you could do it yourself, it has you going out and seeing if you can do kick-flips on the lawn, but it's also got some really, really ridiculous stuff on it, that's some of the stuff that I want to kinda make fun of, and, I don't know, there's just too much material for me to be able to just do a quick 10-minute review of it, so, I wannna just kinda walk everyone through it, in fact this might even be a bit of a nostalgia trip for you guys who remember how infuriatingly hard it is, so, without further ado, hopefully i'm not gonna die that much, so let's give it a shot, OK. This is: Suede Played: Ninja Gaiden Σ".
— The opening to the original version of Suede Played: Ninja Gaiden Sigma.
The Nostalgia Critic: Come on, everybody. We gotta find that thing and fast. This ain't no game anymore.
[The Critic turns around and is stopped short by a figure standing in a burgundy cloak.]
Obstacle: None shall pass.
The Nostalgia Critic: Oh, knock it off, jerkhole! We're in a hurry!
Obstacle: You are searching for unspeakable power.
Linkara: And it'd go a lot faster if you got out of the way.
Obstacle: But a great evil searches for it, too.
Obscurus Lupa: Sort of why we need to get going.
Obstacle: He will never stop until he finds it.
The Nostalgia Critic: Okay, enough of this.
Obstacle: Your destiny awaits you.
The Nostalgia Critic: Eat lead, ya fairy dropping!
[The Critic raises his sword to strike the figure, who catches him by the arm, then stops and removes his mask.]
The Nostalgia Critic: Suede?!
[Team A (apart from Lupa) cheers as Critic and Suede hug and pat each other on the back, etc.]
The Nostalgia Critic: How you doing, man? Holy smokes, I can’t believe it! What have you been doing with yourself?
Suede: Oh, I'm an obstacle. You know how it is...
The Nostalgia Critic: No kidding you're an obstacle! Holy smokes!
Obscurus Lupa: Who is that?
The Nostalgia Chick: Oh, that's That Dude in the Suede. He used to do reviews for the site.
The Nostalgia Critic: That thing with your voice– How did you do that?
Suede: It's just something that I can do, you know what I mean?
The Nostalgia Critic: That's incredible, man, that’s incredible! Oh, it’s great to see ya! Oh, hey, hey, hey- We’re looking for Malachite’s Hand. Do you know where that is?
Suede: Well, of course I do. I'm an obstacle, 'sake...
The Nostalgia Critic: Fantastic!
Suede: Oh, but first you must defeat me in mortal combat.
The Nostalgia Critic: What?
Suede: Oh, touch my sword.
[Suede holds up his katana lengthwise. The Critic taps it with his sword.]
Suede: Oh, I'm defeated, let’s get out of here.
[They walk away together.]
Benzaie: Oh, Suede! It's good to see you!
Suede: Benzaie? I thought you hated me.
Benzaie: Benzaie does hate you, but Conan loves you.
Suede: Oh, all right then.
The Nostalgia Critic: Hey, Suede, what is the story behind this Malachite guy anyway?
Suede: Okay, let me fill you in. A long time ago…
— Suede returns Suburban Knights Part 5
Caption: MEANWHILE, IN NEW ZEALAND...
That Dude In The Suede: People are starting to wonder about us, about who we are.
Suede: Shouldn't be anything to wonder about! You're just a different costume choice. Mine is more formal, yours is more casual.
That Dude In The Suede: And yet here we are.
Suede: And yet here we are.
"In honour of the first video he made for the site, Suede will now do a Top 11 list for his return. He's not lazy. Shut up."
— The first words of his first post-mission Animenia episode.
"Kappa Mikey! Your day will come!"
— Suede hinting at a future video.
"To be consistent, they all have to be cartoon series, without live actions or movies, and they have to be purely American concepts to avoid comparisons to the original anime.
— His rather vague rules to include cartoons in his Top 11 American Anime, which lead to controversy when he included Beast Wars in the list (see below).
"No one cares what goes to eleven!"
— Him talking about his personal choice to include The Legend of Calamity Jane in his Top 11 American Anime list, and a trait of the top 11 lists.
" You see, there is this one episode where Jane is roped into escorting an evidently valuable 11-I-think-year-old girl into a certain location. They bunk for the night and the enforcing girl asks for a story. Jane's tough exterior cracks very slightly, as she remembers how much she liked them as a child, and asks which one she would like to hear. The girl replies:"
" Tell me about the first time you SHOT somebody!"
" You need your rest."
" and them if that wasn't enough they actually Flashback to the first time she shoot someone! Whoah! Trigun much!"
" And THEN they reveal that the girl is Eleanor Roosevelt!"
"*Pulls a portrait of Eleanor Roosevelt*"
"'' Tell me about the first time you SHOT somebody!"
"That sort of deep psyche-dive-in just was not the norm in those days in children's cartoons."
— The only remains of The Legend of Calamity Jane Episode 11, that got burned in his brain.
"When I was on a mission for my church for two years, I noticed that without question or exception, ALL MALE TWEENS IN NEW ZEALAND were obsessed to a t-shirt-buying degree with one of two things: John Cena or Ben 10; with girls it wasn't even a option, it was either Hannah Montana or nothing."
"Another little sidenote here: another cool thing about The Transformers and American Comics in general that probably didn't stem from The Island Of Awesomeness but still runs parallel, is The Awesome Cross Over, look at this:"
*Shows the cover of The Transformers US Version Issue #3: The Transformers Four-Issue Limited Series Part 3: Prisoner of War!*
"Sweet Magna Carta! Look at this Cross Over! Spider-Man Vs. Megatron! Possibly the second greatest Cross Over concept EVER!"
"Imagine Batman: The Animated Series combined with Blade Runner and AKIRA in the most awesome yet Saturday Morning friendly way possible. Yeah, i know, my mind is blown as well."
"Kind of a less confusing The Dark Knight Returns lite."
"The best part though, and what it shares with many Sci-Fi anime is a unparalleled sense of immersion. A lot of the situations and problems Gotham Of The Future have to deal with are instantly recognizable today, but astoundly realistic is how they evolve in the future: You can imagine plastic cards completely replacing paper currency, genetic engineering getting so enhanced it's used like piercings. AND, most damming yet awesome of all, Broadway Musicals irreverently decipting serious events or personas."
"Does this sound FAMILIAR?!"
* Shows the first words of Springtime for Hitler*
I'm That Dude in the Suede, and whether you like it or not, I'm back! *beat* Please like it.
— His first Stinger.
" Currently there's a group of Obstacles that follow Doug around while they have to stop Doug from achieving perfection or something like that, and the guy who was going to block him in the woods took a desk job in Boise and I had to fill in because I'm a temp, you know, because the financial situation is pretty dire in New Zealand, so I just had to."
"Hello, Suede here, you may remember me from such anime reviews as the Top 11 American Anime, and if you go quite a lot further back the Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children review. I am a anime reviewer but I also love video games, what can I say, it's just, it was an absolute staple for me when I was in high school, at least until I discovered anime. One of my favourite games was Ninja Gaiden Σ, now I've always wanted to kinda comment on this game, maybe do a review of it, but there's always been so many different video game reviewers that I kinda wanted to make my niche elsewhere, so I did it for my true love, which is anime. Now I want to do kinda of a bit more than a Let's Play but a bit less than one of Spoony's Game Reviews. So, I'm gonna call it Suede Played. It's gonna be where I explain a little bit about where my nostalgia comes from this game and most importantly give it a bit of a healthy riffing for just how silly it is sometimes, don't give me wrong, this is an excellent game, this is a fantastic game, and I can't wait to show you how awesome it is, and it's just a great piece of nostalgia for me, but, it can be just so stupid at times, so just know this is good natured, and know that, even though I love this game to bits and pieces, it did kinda make me chuckle at times for it's stupid story, it's unorthodox characters, and, probably most importantly of all, the stinking camera."
"Ah, the mystical Ninja R3 Button! Luckily I carry it in my ninja utility belt!"
"Alright children, let's recap, shall we? this key was in the the hands of a Samurai, Samurai suit of armor, robotisized, fair enough. You can't cut off this robot's arm to get the key, that's stupid to start off with. Second of all, the only way you can open this robot's hand is by inserting the Fangs of the Samurai. Where are the Fangs of the Samurai? Are they in a ninja lockbox? (well, technically...) Are they in a ninja safe, surrounded by hundreds of ninja soldiers? No, no, no, no. Need I remind you that this key leads you right to you room, right to your very headquarters, where are you going to put this key? Where you're gonna put the jaws that open the hand that this key comes out of? You put it at the bottom of a pit that you want people to fall down! There isn't even an ambush at the bottom of this pit! What's at the bottom of this pit is clay pots, bats and a box that is openable by a boot that contains the key to your stronghold! You want your prisoners to find your key! Is it like some kind of psychological grip that you want to keep on then or something! It makes no sense! It makes no sense..."
"A few of my more hardcore fans may remember a short piece I did on the abject animated oddity that both unites and divides those with even a passing knowledge of anime. It was meant to be the first in a series, and in the first case I gave a cursory case to the frollical freakishness of Anime Hair. Unfortunately duty called not only to my religion but also to my more popular videos, and it was lost in the pits of eternity. Well no more! After mercilessly scolding myself a boiling rhetoric, i've decided that it wasn't such a bad idea after all. So with renewed energy, zeal and the fact that I actually came up with some ideas for it, I present to you the revamped and renamed show that was formerly know as Anime Weirdness. Ladies and Gentlemen: Fandom Stranger. This show will look at the strange and bizarre in not only anime itself but also everything surrounding it, beit corporate, cultural or culinary."
"Whohowhoah! What was that!? That was different. Ah, dang it! Was this whole thing just a Pokémon reference!? I love Pokémon! I would have loved to have done a cameo! Ah well, I guess there's nothing for it. Now where were we? Yes old man, tell me your secrets, and then it's up to Cinnabar.
"THAT is how you cry. That's the kind of crying where liquid oozes out of every orifice and you make noises like a drowning moose. The kind of crying that isn't attractive because... sadness isn't attractive."From Twitter
"Hey wow I just tweeted. I'm not sure if I should feel contemporary or dirty. We'll just have to see! Helloo, everyone!"
"Game Freak are either suddenly geniuses for challenging the Pokémon paradigm and causing actual cerebral activity while playing, or idiots."
"It's hard to take the Mayor (Nestor Carbonell) in Dark Knight seriously when you find out he played Batmanuel in The Tick Live Action Series."
"When your fiancée buys Beyond Good & Evil to play on your honeymoon you know you've done something right.^^"
"Discovering Todd in the Shadows. He's actually pretty awesome."
"I guess the reason I like it is I'm a bit of a music nerd myself. Especially when it come to mashups. Dang I love those things."
"For myself though, I've just never sworn. I don't know, you could blame my religious background, but I've honestly never been angry enough."
"I'm not sure you can listen to "Invaders Must Die" by The Prodigy and not be hyped about the first thing you lay your eyes on."
"[to Todd in the Shadows] what's an ot3?"
"Airbrushed by Anamanaguchi. Best song in ages and will be the Opening for Suede Played, a Let's Play series I might make. Thanks, Christopher Prentice !"
""And Yet It Moves" is a contender for the awesomest game title EVAR. Too bad I have no Xbox360."
"Another contender: I Hate Ice Levels. Oh boy do I."
"Just realized I haven't posted anything about anime yet, ironic as most of you are probably following me for it"
"Well here's something: you'd think Knives Chau from Scott Pilgrim was a Trigun reference, so Why did he make her a woman? And not evil?"
"Ghostbusters 3, Men In Black 3 were bad enough, but Big Mommas House 3!? It should have the tagline 'Big Mommas House 3: Somebody Make Him (Martin Lawrence) Stop'"
"To clarify, Big Mommas House 3 has not come out in New Zealand yet... Mercifully."
"So I'm just talking about the announcements"
"Well, your let's plays are my favorite thing of yours to watch. Sometimes it really is the simple things that can be effective."
"Did anyone else find Cars the most disturbing Pixar film? It's post-apocalyptic! Sentient, breathing biomech cars took over the world!"
"Just bought the 1st Pokémon theme on iTunes. At first I felt dirty, but I'm surprised how well it stands up musically. Real Guilty Pleasure."
"Those who want a bizarrely compelling puzzle fix, there's a new app out called Rogo. It was made by a relative of mine. Buy it or lite it!"
"Seriously, for puzzle nuts, this thing is insane. And downloads = viral = rich relative = highly increased chance of me coming back in force"
"@Webbman76 I will upload videos no matter what. However, how soon, how frequently and whether I go to comicon depends on downloads."
"My mum made an insanely addictive app for the iPhone/iPad called Rogo that she'd like more people to try. Even the free version is fine."
"Whoops forgot to explain. Rogo Is like sudoku only more forgiving yet somehow also more incomprehensibly compelling. Perfect bus stop fodder."
"To clarify that retweet, my mum made that app! Awesome! Everybody buy it NAO!"
— Will promoting a iPhone/iPad App called Rogo thatboth his mother and his wife worked on.
"Just found out you can stick the original Tomb Raider Playstation disk into your computer and import the soundtrack with no problems. Awesome."
"I keep hearing how horrible Final Fantasy XIV is, but no one says why, they just say it's horrible! Can someone tell me what made it so bad?"
"Just tried Salmon Egg Sushi for the first time. It's AWESOME. like eating 20 little salmon at the same time."
"I just played Mirror's Edge and.. I liked it. It's trial & error had an old school charm!"
"Game I liked but every one else hates: Mirror's Edge. I dug the oldschool learning curve and sterile post-apocalyptica!"
"Now able to continue playing Final Fantasy XIII. I don't hate it as much as everyone else, although I do want to rip Snow a new one when he says words."
"#hating Snow Saying "I'm a hero" does not make you one if you are an idiot. It sure as heck didn't work for me. Wait."
"Best (and I'm sure for many, only) good line from Final Fantasy XIII: "we'd better run." ... "I meant AWAY!" #Sazh is not that bad"
"What in the blue blazes is Vanille's accent meant to be? South Afro-Australian Norweigan?"
"Final Fantasy VIII got me through my 14 year old Angst phase. Subsequently it still holds a special place in my heart, warts and all."
"The first time I played Pokémon Red I ignored my party and beat the whole game with an overpowered Charizard."
"Actually a better Pokémon Red confession would be that I honestly used my Master Ball on a Ditto. A Ditto!"
"Currently (12/05/11) rockin out to The Bootleg Portal 2 Soundtrack. Release it, dagnabbit, Valve Software, you'll make a mint!
"Why do people continue to follow me? I feel like I update about as much as a pregnant sloth."
"Just saw Atop the Fourth Wall - Top 15 Worst Heroes Becoming Villains. So in Green Lantern 2 he'll go insane and kill everyone? Best sequel EVAR!
"Well, I'm off to the daily grind that prevents me from videos. It involves a knife, a gun, a huge warehouse and a whole lot of shrink wrap."
—Suede's description of his job (working in a grocery store warehouse organizing orders to different grocery stores across the South Island of New Zealand).
"This is phenomenal and must be downloaded. It changes the tone but It does make me want to do what it says in the chorus."
"Just watched The Powerpuff Girls Movie. Surprisingly sound storyboarding and action choreography and an awesome soundtrack! Go Genndy Tartakovsky!"
"Muhuahahahahaha!!! you all thought I was a lazy jerk, when really was just being a SECRETIVE jerk! FINALLY I can exhale and do stuff!"
—Suede talking about his appearance in Suburban Knights Part 5.
"Isn't it deliciously ironic that DJ Earworm's 'United State of Pop 2009 (Blame It on the Pop)' is better than the Pop Songs Of 2009 put together when that's EXACTLY WHAT IT IS?"
"Reading tweets while listening to Portishead does not a comfortable experience make."
"Just discovered Pushing Up Roses et al. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE!? Shortys is so nostalgic (and funny) it hurts! sniff... Putt-Putt..."
"Don't you get it, people? Electronic beats, synthesized melodies, WOODWIND SOLOS!? We're reverting to The Eighties again! #make it stop"
"Need to trim my Beard, starting to look like Green Arrow. Although this is awesome, it just doesn't work without The Hat."
"Just bought the entire first season of Pokémon. I am proud of this fact. Truly this is the geek generation."
"I think I'm addicted to mashups. Done wrong it's like grating tinfoil on a root canal, but done right it's soo sweeeet..."
"I think it's the gamble that really hooks me. Will this next one be good? will it be bad...?"
"As someone who religiously read the original Carl Barks Disney Ducks Comic Universe comics as a child, I will now nitpick where he cannot:
- Why did they change Scrooge's shirt from red to blue? did they think it was too Scottish?
- Scrooge didn't live in a mansion, and would rather shoot himself in the kneecap than hire a butler or a maid.
- Flintheart Glomgold was South African in the comics. Why did they change that? that's all I can think of for now."
"by the way, I loved the show. I'm just messin' around."
"That was all in response to Doug Walker's excellent Ducktales review, If you didn't guess already."
"For those who asked, Yes, I have read The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck. Favourite comic series after Watchmen. It's awesome."
"That out of the way, WOW what an awesome response! I must admit I had some self-doubt leading up to it, thank you all!"
"I was also worried it would be overshadowed by Spoony One and NC, but it seems like it wasn't too bad."
"First bite back at nitpickers: We didn't get Exo Squad in New Zealand. We cool? X3"
"Point Dos: I must apologize to Andrew Dickman for giving a poor description for my title card, but it still works in that it has no spoilers!"
"And one more before bed: I am SORRY I did not know Beast Wars was Canadian! Your accents all sound the same! It was my bad, sorry."
"Wow, I have twice as many comments as NC! Weird! And only two Trolls that I can find, and even then they both say they like me! Cool!"
"One thing I have learned since becoming a C-Grade Internet Celebrity is that it really is truly impossible to please everybody."
"For every "Megas XLR rules!" there's "why you put dumb Megas XLR?" For every "you would've been lynched if Avatar: The Last Airbender wasn't #1" there's "Avatar: The Last Airbender sucks!"
—Suede's response to the reception of his "Top 11 American Anime" video.
"Currently playing Batman: Arkham Asylum. It's awesome, but why don't these modern Batman's ever give Scarecrow his hat? It was always so awesome!"
"I'm looking for a good secure web host for m