Quotes / Tank Goodness

In No Man's Land one early morn at sixty in the shade
From out the British lines there came the famous Tank Brigade
The Huns began to strafe 'em, couldn't make it out at all
Especially when the tanks began the Caterpillar crawl."

And the tanks went on, and they strolled along with an independent air
And their guns began to blare, and the Huns began to swear
For they pulled the trees up by the roots, and they made the Huns look like galoots
Did the tanks that broke the ranks out in Picardy.
-"The Tanks That Broke the Ranks Out in Picardy", a 1916 British propaganda song, sung to the tune of "The Man Who Broke the Bank of Monte Carlo".

"For the Red Army, the T-34 was a war-winner. It represents for the Russians I think achievement, self-sacrifice, heroism, diligence: all the qualities which they called forth from themselves in order to win this war."
Prof. John Erickson

"For four years Adolf Hitler's panzers have reigned supreme over the battlefields of Europe. But in the T-34 tank, they finally meet their match."
Sean Bean, Decisive Weapons: Queen of Tanks

"Yea verily, though I charge through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am driving a house-sized mass of fuck you."
Anonymous Mammoth Tank crewman, Tiberium Wars

"From the north, riding a wave of billowing dust, they came on, belching thunderbolts that shattered the sky and the smoke and the eardrums of the cheering men at the wall. They were beasts, but more than that: a massive, rolling river of dust and steel and chobam and engine oil and escaping fumes and whirling fusion generators that scarred the land with their passing. They were inexorable, their weapons thundering, their engines roaring, and thei hides impenetrable."

Tanks! Build! More! TANKS!
General Kwai, Command & Conquer: Generals: Zero Hour

Rage will only get you so far, General. Now, rage and a column of tanks - that will get you somewhere.

What I can not defeat with words, I will crush with the tanks of the Imperial Guard.
Lord Solar Macharius, Warhammer 40,000

Tanks come in two forms: the dangerous, deadly kind and the "liberating" kind.
Robert Fisk, British journalist commenting on Real Life wars

T is for Tank, and T is for Terror,
and K is the K for Killing In Error...
Leona Ozaki, Dominion Tank Police, sung while washing Bonaparte.

T is for Tanker, A is for tanker, N is for Tanker, K is for Tanker, E is for Tanker, R is for Tanker. Tankers can't Spell! But Tankers Can Kill!
— US Army Armor Running Cadence

It's like a religious experience. Wanna know my prayer? "Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil. For I am driving 35,000 tons of FUCK YOU!"
Mana Kirishima, Nobody Dies

This here is 66 tons of straight-up, HE-spewin', dee-vine intervention!
Sergeant Major Avery J. Johnson, Halo, about the M808B Scorpion Tank.

Your foe is well-equipped, well-trained, battle-hardened. He believes his gods are on his side. Let him believe what he will. We have the tanks on ours.
Colonel Joachim Pfeiff, 14th Krieg Panzer Regiment, Warhammer 40,000

Well, I'm a convict
In a siege tank I ride
Not Protossin'
Not Zergin'
No, I'm Terran... Up the Night!
Level 80 Elite Tauren Chieftain, Terran Up The Night

The man in the tank will win.

StuG: Shall we crush them? Or shoot them?
Armored tanks of mass destruction
Killers in the east
Rats who dare to stand before us
Feel our guns go live
Death in the shape of a panzer battalion
Insect of terror don't run face your fate like a man
Cannot outrun our panzer battalion
Thousands of tons of armor and guns
Making its way through the sand
Our panzer battalion is back for revenge
Artillery sweeping the land
First strike is ours no mercy is shown
There's rivers of blood in our track
Breaking their waves of defense with our tanks
Infantry watching our back
Blow their SAM sites clear for air strike
Ready for the storm
Minefields swept there's no surrender
Feel our napalm burn
Sabaton, "Panzer Battalion"

There's no reason to build any troops, really. Tanks don't move any slower, they just take longer to build and, well, they're fucking tanks!
Yahtzee in his review of Halo Wars

Tank beats Ghost. Tank beats Hunter. Tank beats everything! Oh, man, I could do this all day!
Marine, Halo 3

The best weapon against a tank is another tank. Therefore, tanks are always busy fighting each other and have little time to fight the war.
Murphy's Laws of Combat

Tank by itself is fearsome. Fast tank is even more fearsome. Fast tank flying through air and trailing dust, flame and entrails of slain enemy is like hand of god ripping swath through the advancing horde of enemies. They falls to their knees and weep for their sins and beg for forgiveness, and that is when you rip them apart with coaxial machine gun.
Captain Dmitri Arkadeyevich Strelnikov, SCP Foundation, Reddawn

Peter: Eh... I don't know...
Salesman: Did I mention the tank is a tank?
Peter: SOLD.

Simmons: Surrender! You're outnumbered!
Church: Bullshit, dude, I got a tank! People with tanks are never outnumbered!
Simmons: Also, it's your turn to-
Church: Sheila, shut them up.
Sheila the Tank: Firing main cannon! *BOOM*

Ready to unleash eleven barrels of hell!
Baneblade commander, Dawn of War

Tell the men the cavalry has arrived!
Ready to win the war, sir!
Leman Russ commander, Dawn of War

Life is Panzer, Panzer is life!
Yukari Akiyama, Girls und Panzer

The good news is that with our supply lines up and running we're able to send you the most powerful vehicles we have: Mammoth Tanks. Dare I say this mission might actually be fun?

When you're in a tank, things don't happen to you. You happen to them.
Jeff Wise, reporter for Popular Mechanics, after driving a tank for the first time

Kinzie: Oh no, don't you dare! I don't want that thing anywhere near my computer!
The Boss: Ok, ok...we won't use the tank.
Pierce: Really?
The Boss: Fuck no, we're getting our tank on!

Praise the Machine God, for he has given us tanks in plenty.