"The Tongue offends, and the Ears get the Cuffing."
— Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanack (1757)
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Anime and Manga
"It hurts my fist communicating with you."
— Shinji, Altered Carbon: Resleeved
Fritz Stanford: HAHAHAHAHA! Are you afraid?! There's no way you're not! Now witness the awesome power of —
[BLAM!]
Revy: Shut the fuck up. Can't you see I wasn't even listening? I mean, were you trying to sell me the damn gun or what?
[BLAM!]
Revy: Shut the fuck up. Can't you see I wasn't even listening? I mean, were you trying to sell me the damn gun or what?
Jeice: We've had enough of this, ya coward. Now make a move! [Goku punches him in the face] AGH! You...cheap shot!
Goku: Hmph. You said to make a move. I thought you meant that you were ready to go at it.
Jeice: No. Yes. You! SHOW 'IM, BURTER!
Goku: Hmph. You said to make a move. I thought you meant that you were ready to go at it.
Jeice: No. Yes. You! SHOW 'IM, BURTER!
— Dragon Ball Z (original Funimation dub)
Zamasu: Just as we foresaw! Fighting this formidable Saiyan blight has carried our strength to new heights. This proves our transformative power! Our destiny is to cast judgement on all creation! Even you must see it now, [turning] Goku —
Goku: HERE'S WHAT I THINK! [punches him flying]
Goku: HERE'S WHAT I THINK! [punches him flying]
Zamasu: Hah! Potara earrings? Does the mimicry have no end? You pathetic mortals always try to emulate the divine! Now, why is that? Is it because we gods are so wondrous? Are you coveting our undeniable beauty? I understand, yet it's so tragic! Your mimicry is doomed to fail! Acts of gods are beautiful because we are inherently pure, while mortal endeavors will inevitably become wicked! Corrupted and marred by si-
Vegito: Yee-AH! (punches Zamasu in the cheek, then kicks him into the ground) Hah! Sorry to be rude, but you left yourself wide open!
Vegito: Yee-AH! (punches Zamasu in the cheek, then kicks him into the ground) Hah! Sorry to be rude, but you left yourself wide open!
Black Shadow: I WILL NOT DIE! NOR WILL MY DREAM!
Captain Falcon: FALCON PUUUUUNCH! [smashes Black Shadow in the face in a Taking You with Me moment]
Captain Falcon: FALCON PUUUUUNCH! [smashes Black Shadow in the face in a Taking You with Me moment]
Chisaki: You don't know Eri's value! A punk like you can't exploit an asset like her!
Midoriya: SMASH! [kicks Chisaki so hard the kaiju-sized yakuza is sent flying into the air]
Midoriya: SMASH! [kicks Chisaki so hard the kaiju-sized yakuza is sent flying into the air]
Takasugi: H-How dare you...
Dragon: Wait, Takasugi. She's good. I'll g—
(Ryoko smashes his face in with her wooden sword, knocking a few of his teeth out in the process)
Ryoko: Gotcha!
Dragon: Awful... I haven't... said...
Dragon: Wait, Takasugi. She's good. I'll g—
(Ryoko smashes his face in with her wooden sword, knocking a few of his teeth out in the process)
Ryoko: Gotcha!
Dragon: Awful... I haven't... said...
Comic Books
Judge Fear: Gaze into the face of Fear!
Judge Dredd: GAZE INTO THE FIST OF DREDD!
(Dredd puts his fist through Judge Fear's face and into his skull up to Dredd's wrist.)
Judge Dredd: GAZE INTO THE FIST OF DREDD!
(Dredd puts his fist through Judge Fear's face and into his skull up to Dredd's wrist.)
Smasher: Accessing hyper-strength upload from my exospecs.
[Drax the Destroyer punches him in the face, stopping him cold]
Drax: Accessing fist.
[Drax the Destroyer punches him in the face, stopping him cold]
Drax: Accessing fist.
Empress Gandelo: Did he break your heart, girl? One more painful loss to add to your grief? Under all of your posturing, you are nothing but a mewling infant crying for love. So weak. So sad. And so utterly predictable.
Supergirl: (punching her face so hard it cracks) In all your infinite wisdom, did you predict this?!
Supergirl: (punching her face so hard it cracks) In all your infinite wisdom, did you predict this?!
Xa-Du: Batgirl! You stole Kara Zor-El's solar tallow. Because of you, my ecto-mail is no stronger than a sick Kryptonian child would be on your world. But even a weak Kryptonian flesh suit is strong enough to rip out your heart!
Batgirl kicks his mouth
Xa-Du: Heh.
Batgirl kicks his mouth
Xa-Du: Heh.
Kryptonian Cop: Halt— In the name of— Unngh
Faora-Hu-Ul: I don't care to be shouted at, lawman! And I don't care to halt, either!
Faora-Hu-Ul: I don't care to be shouted at, lawman! And I don't care to halt, either!
Iron Man: I trusted you, Peter! I took you under my wing! Is this how you repay me?
Spider-Man: No. THIS IS! (KLANG)
Spider-Man: No. THIS IS! (KLANG)
Fan Works
Film — Animated
"See? Now you respect me, because I'm a threat. That's the way it works. Turns out there are a lot of people, whole countries who want respect, and they will pay through the nose to get it! How do you think I got rich? I invented weapons, and now I have a weapon that only I can defeat! And when I unleash it, I'll get— [Mr. Incredible throws a tree trunk at him; he narrowly dodges] You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can't believe it...!"
— Syndrome, The Incredibles
Film — Live-Action
Loki: ENOUGH! You are, all of you, beneath me! I am a god, you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by—
[WHAM-WHAM-WHAM! WHAM-WHAM!]
The Incredible Hulk: ...puny god.
[WHAM-WHAM-WHAM! WHAM-WHAM!]
The Incredible Hulk: ...puny god.
"When you have to shoot, shoot! Don't talk!"
— Tuco, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly
Marco: Where you going now, huh? No more table! Next time you have the chance to kill someone, don't hesitate!
(McClane shoots through the table and kills Marco)
McClane: Thanks for the advice.
(McClane shoots through the table and kills Marco)
McClane: Thanks for the advice.
Yon-Rogg: I'm So Proud of You. You've come a long way since I found you that day by the lake. But can you keep your emotions in check long enough to take me on? Or will they get the better of you as always? I always told you, you'll be ready the day you can knock me down as yourself. This is that moment. This is that moment, Vers! Turn off the light show and prove, prove to me that you can beat me witho-
[Carol energy-blasts him into a hill, then walks over.]
Carol: I have nothing to prove to you.
[Carol energy-blasts him into a hill, then walks over.]
Carol: I have nothing to prove to you.
Literature
Hari: And you don't block a groin-kick with your hands, you take it on the thigh. Every time you drop your hands, you're gonna get a whack. You understand?
Kris: Yes, I'm starting to— (takes uppercut to solar plexus)
Hari: Lesson two. Best time to hit someone is when he's off guard. Best time to catch someone off guard is when he's talking. When you talk, you're thinking about what to say next, not— (takes jab to face) ... Y'know, there's just the faintest chance I could start to like you.
Kris: Yes, I'm starting to— (takes uppercut to solar plexus)
Hari: Lesson two. Best time to hit someone is when he's off guard. Best time to catch someone off guard is when he's talking. When you talk, you're thinking about what to say next, not— (takes jab to face) ... Y'know, there's just the faintest chance I could start to like you.
'The primer, you whoreson bastard! Give me the primer!' Molitor yelled.
I gave him a full clip of bolt rounds instead.
I gave him a full clip of bolt rounds instead.
— Gregor Eisenhorn, Xenos
The disdain sleeted over her, tearing the planetary body of Magrat Garlick to pieces. She'd never be any good. She'd never be beautiful or intelligent, or strong. She'd never be anything at all. Self-confidence? Confidence in what?
The eyes of the Queen were all she could see. All she wanted to do was lose herself in them, and the ablation of Magrat Garlick roared on, tearing at the strata of her soul... exposing the core.
She bunched up her fist and hit the Queen between the eyes.
The eyes of the Queen were all she could see. All she wanted to do was lose herself in them, and the ablation of Magrat Garlick roared on, tearing at the strata of her soul... exposing the core.
She bunched up her fist and hit the Queen between the eyes.
He started by throwing fire into my face. Between one spurious sob and the next, his arm whipped back and then flashed forward with a great blob of incandescent flame nestled in his palm.
I brushed it aside with a negligent gesture. "Not good enough, brother," I told him. Then I knocked him cart-wheeling through the snow with my fist. It was tactically sound. He'd have felt my Will building anyway, and I got an enormous satisfaction out of punching him in the mouth.
I brushed it aside with a negligent gesture. "Not good enough, brother," I told him. Then I knocked him cart-wheeling through the snow with my fist. It was tactically sound. He'd have felt my Will building anyway, and I got an enormous satisfaction out of punching him in the mouth.
Live-Action TV
"What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP!"
"The law of my fist is about to compel your teeth!"
— The Blackfish, Game of Thrones
Jaime: Only a fool makes threats he's not prepared to carry out. Now, let's say I threatened to hit you unless you shut your mouth, but you kept talking. What do you think I'd do?
Walder Rivers: I don't give a rat-
[Jaime backhands Walder across the face.]
Walder Rivers: I don't give a rat-
[Jaime backhands Walder across the face.]
— Game of Thrones, "The Broken Man"
"Hold on a minute! There are three important, brilliant, and complicated reasons why you should listen to me. One—" [gets knocked out]
— The Tenth Doctor, Doctor Who, "The Idiot's Lantern"
Theatre
Sonny: Big Six here would like a word with ya.
Stone: I'm all ears.
Sonny: You don't need 'em. He talks with his hands.
Stone [Turning, to hit Big Six]: Is that so—?
[Big Six knocks Stone to the floor.]
Stone: I'm all ears.
Sonny: You don't need 'em. He talks with his hands.
Stone [Turning, to hit Big Six]: Is that so—?
[Big Six knocks Stone to the floor.]
Video Games
(Circle) Shut Wyzen/Kalrow/Augus/Deus up
— Actual prompts, Asura's Wrath
Chakravartin: You have exceeded my expectations. I praise you. You are indeed the one to inherit this world. Gaea must be led by one of its own. Now that you have become a perfect being, I may now leave this world, and save other worlds in need of my guidance. Come, and join your daughter (...) [extends hand] I am counting on you.
Asura: [extends arm into Chakravartin's face] I refuse!
"Aha, the first strike? Not one to mince words, are we?"
— Chaser, Scholar of the Burning Blood, should the player attack him mid-dialogue, Deepwoken
"Yours... not mine."
"Don't speak. Just die."
— Dante, Devil May Cry 2
Zamasu: It can't be... A god losing to a mortal... this cannot happen...
I am a god. I am justice given form - I am the world! The most noble, splendid, immortal... and supremely powerful god...
ZAMASU-
Vegito: (slams his fist into Zamasu's face) GOTCHA!
I am a god. I am justice given form - I am the world! The most noble, splendid, immortal... and supremely powerful god...
ZAMASU-
Vegito: (slams his fist into Zamasu's face) GOTCHA!
— Dragon Ball Fighterz Dramatic Finish
"I've had enough of your snide insinuations!" [punch]
— Commander Shepard, Mass Effect
"I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions!" [punch]
— Commander Shepard, Mass Effect 2
"I've had enough of your tabloid journalism!" [punch]
— Commander Shepard, Mass Effect 3
"Soon the defense will rest... her fist upon your face."
"What an agreeable little lamb you are! I have been grooming victims for the Vake since, oh, long before the Fall, but I've never found one as argh; damn you; ow; desist; REEEGH!"
— A certain treasonous Naturalist, being interrupted by your ticked-off character with an armful of rocks, Fallen London
Perun, Radegast, and Saladin died many more times than any one of Segoth's men. But any time one of them fell, another would cover them until they staggered to their feet again. The shield wall held. The three gave no ground.
Finally, his robes singed and ragged, Segoth signaled a retreat.
"Iron Wolves!" he shouted as his warriors scattered and a cheer went up from the people in the silver ruins. "I will slaughter everyone who has ever sheltered you!"
In answer, Perun shot him again.
Finally, his robes singed and ragged, Segoth signaled a retreat.
"Iron Wolves!" he shouted as his warriors scattered and a cheer went up from the people in the silver ruins. "I will slaughter everyone who has ever sheltered you!"
In answer, Perun shot him again.
— Grimoire: The Iron Lords: Lady Perun, Destiny
Moebius O and P: Do try to curb your disgust, you dirty pleb. Hah! We'll have you know this is the true form of Interlinking! Yes. The form in which two worlds become one. A far more refined form than this... half-assed one you've stumbled upon. Look upon us and tremble before perfection! You'll writhe in agony before we- (gets punched by Mio into a boulder)
Noah: Mio?
Mio: Stop...
Moebius O and P: Stop?
Mio: Stop toying... with everyone's lives!
Noah: Mio?
Mio: Stop...
Moebius O and P: Stop?
Mio: Stop toying... with everyone's lives!
Web Animation
AK-130 Android: Intruder. Identify yourself.
[Adam fires Blush into its face]
[Adam fires Blush into its face]
— RWBY, "Black" trailer
"What did you say to me?! Actually, it doesn't matter. I've got the best comeback of all: A SPAS-12."
Rubric Marine: Maybe if you were less of an egocentric dick, you would've noticed-
Webcomics
Psycho Mantis: Hold up... Crash Bandicoot? SERIOUSLY? You played THAT!?
[Solid Snake shoots Psycho Mantis in the head]
Psycho Mantis: Ow, wait I'm not finished!
[Solid Snake shoots Psycho Mantis in the head]
Psycho Mantis: Ow, wait I'm not finished!
"You engaged your foe in PUERILE BICKERINg when the only requisite rebuttal was a bURST OF LIGHt in its open maw…"
— Lucifer to Spender, Paranatural, Chapter 4 Page 149
Web Original
It feels like it's been centuries since two-time welterweight BlackBerry boxer grand champion Naomi Campbell has injected fear into the streets by whoopin' tricks left and right. Naomi hasn't curbed her cuntiness (THANK GOD), but I thought that maybe she retired her slapping hands and was done with leaving her mark (aka her palm print) on people's faces. Well, I thought wrong, because Naomi the Terrible was back to terrorizing hos in Cuba yesterday.
A cameraman from NBC News made the mistake of following Naomi as she left her hotel in Havana. Naomi told him to get out of her face. Now, when Naomi Campbell tells you to get out of her face, you either listen or you call your mother to tell her you love her, put on a helmet and hope for the best while clutching a rosary. The cameraman kept filming and so Naomi came for his ass... Naomi later called NBC News to apologize and said it was all just one, big misunderstanding! What Naomi means by "misunderstanding" is that she didn't want a camera filming her face for free and the cameraman didn't understand that, so she had to explain it to him in a language he may understand. The language being her favorite language: Slapanese. That’s what she meant.
A cameraman from NBC News made the mistake of following Naomi as she left her hotel in Havana. Naomi told him to get out of her face. Now, when Naomi Campbell tells you to get out of her face, you either listen or you call your mother to tell her you love her, put on a helmet and hope for the best while clutching a rosary. The cameraman kept filming and so Naomi came for his ass... Naomi later called NBC News to apologize and said it was all just one, big misunderstanding! What Naomi means by "misunderstanding" is that she didn't want a camera filming her face for free and the cameraman didn't understand that, so she had to explain it to him in a language he may understand. The language being her favorite language: Slapanese. That’s what she meant.
— Michael K., "Naomi The Terrible Is Up To Her Old Tricks Again"
, "Naomi The Terrible Is Up To Her Old Tricks Again"???: Difficulty is not a concern. But enlighten me, what is it that you think will be difficult about this plan?
[Nova simply presses the trigger of the thunderlord, causing it to let loose with its massive .50 caliber electrostatic rounds.]
Nova : See, the problem with that is plans become much harder to complete when you're dead.
[Nova simply presses the trigger of the thunderlord, causing it to let loose with its massive .50 caliber electrostatic rounds.]
Nova : See, the problem with that is plans become much harder to complete when you're dead.
Web Video
"Let this be a lesson, kids. When debating, solve your problems not with an agreement, but by screaming, "I AM A MAN!" and punching them in the guts. Allow me to demonstrate. "I AM A MAN!!!"" [punch]''
— Linkara, Atop the Fourth Wall
Rubber Soul: I'm Rubber Soul!
[Rubber Soul reveals himself.]
Rubber Soul: And this is my real identity, Rubber Soul, Mr. Damn Handsome.
Jotaro: What's with this guy? He's annoying.
Rubber Soul: Huh? What was that? There's something on my face? What is it? Huh? Handsome? Hehaha! Handsome on my face. Huhuhuhu! Seriously?! Oh man! Hahaha, Handsome on it, oh man! Can wash that off. Nah, no way, it's Handsome after a...
Jotaro: ORA!
[Star Platinum decks Rubber Soul in the face.]
Jotaro: You're pretty damn irritating!
[Rubber Soul reveals himself.]
Rubber Soul: And this is my real identity, Rubber Soul, Mr. Damn Handsome.
Jotaro: What's with this guy? He's annoying.
Rubber Soul: Huh? What was that? There's something on my face? What is it? Huh? Handsome? Hehaha! Handsome on my face. Huhuhuhu! Seriously?! Oh man! Hahaha, Handsome on it, oh man! Can wash that off. Nah, no way, it's Handsome after a...
Jotaro: ORA!
[Star Platinum decks Rubber Soul in the face.]
Jotaro: You're pretty damn irritating!
Jeice:Alright, you bastard! Prepare to feel the wrath of the Ginyu For—! (gets punched) GUOGH!! D'AAUGH! YOU GODDAMN WANKER! You punched me in the—! (gets punched) D'UOGH! D'AUGH! You did it again! I— (gets punched) D'ACK! Stop it! STOP IT, I— (gets punched) PIIIISS!!! (thinking) Auugh, what would the Cap'n tell us to do in this situation?!
Ginyu: (in flashback) Jeice, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face, always remember to—(flashback gets interrupted by yet another punch)
Jeice: D'OHH! OWWW, HE CUT OFF THE CAP'N!
Goku: So, are you gonna dodge any of these?
Jeice: Ohhh, that's what the Cap'n— (gets punched) Oowww! BURTER! SUPPORT!!
Burter: Well, you've got very nice hair, you're a beautiful shade of red, and honestly, you're the only guy I can rely on on this team.
Jeice: AH MEANT PUNCH 'IM, YA DAFT BASTARD!! Ugh! Oh, but thanks, ya know? Th-that really cheered me— (gets punched) OW! OH, GOD, I THINK HE BROKE SOMETHING THAT TIME!!
Ginyu: (in flashback) Jeice, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face, always remember to—(flashback gets interrupted by yet another punch)
Jeice: D'OHH! OWWW, HE CUT OFF THE CAP'N!
Goku: So, are you gonna dodge any of these?
Jeice: Ohhh, that's what the Cap'n— (gets punched) Oowww! BURTER! SUPPORT!!
Burter: Well, you've got very nice hair, you're a beautiful shade of red, and honestly, you're the only guy I can rely on on this team.
Jeice: AH MEANT PUNCH 'IM, YA DAFT BASTARD!! Ugh! Oh, but thanks, ya know? Th-that really cheered me— (gets punched) OW! OH, GOD, I THINK HE BROKE SOMETHING THAT TIME!!
— A comedic example from Dragon Ball Z Abridged
Cell: Look at you! I'm gonna call you "Whopping Cough", because you just devastated my children! And for a second there, I thought that yarn you were spinning was going to turn up short. But here you are! [chuckles] My final challen- [Gohan strikes him right through the stomach] WOAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Gohan: Careful, Cell. Your Vegeta's showing.
Gohan: Careful, Cell. Your Vegeta's showing.
— A more serious example from Dragon Ball Z Abridged
K. Rool: Oh, Donkey Kong! I see that was you all along, eh? Well, you know how it is, simple misunderstandings and whatnot. What do you say we let bygones be bygones and I'll be on my way?
[Beat]
Donkey Kong BANANA SLAMMA!
Western Animation
The Abomination: You ready, animal? With the Leader's tech, I'm stronger than you! I'm smarter than you! And I'm going to BEAT YOU TO A-
The Hulk: RAAAGH! (kicks Abomination through the ceiling)
The Hulk: RAAAGH! (kicks Abomination through the ceiling)
Condiment King: "What's this? Ah, the Big Bad Bat Guy. I knew you'd ketchup to me sooner or later. How I've relished this meeting. You, the Dynamic Dark Knight, versus me, the Conceptual Condiment King! Come, Batman, let's see if you can cut the mustard.
Batman: [delivers a single punch to CK's stomach] Quiet!
Batman: [delivers a single punch to CK's stomach] Quiet!
Megatron: Oh well, come on, let's have it. The usual "destiny and honor" speech.
Optimus Primal: Speech this. [POW]
Optimus Primal: Speech this. [POW]
— Beast Wars, "Nemesis, Part 2"
Cyclops: [blasts Mr. Sinister] I warned you before to leave us alone!
Mr. Sinister: I can't. I won't! The world needs — [gets blasted again] Agh!
Cyclops: What was that? I don't think I heard you right.
Mr. Sinister: I can't. I won't! The world needs — [gets blasted again] Agh!
Cyclops: What was that? I don't think I heard you right.
