Quotes related to The Ditz.
Quotes:
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Anime and Manga
L: Oh, it's nothing. Matsuda is being stupid again.
Light: Well, that is his specialty.
Light: Well, that is his specialty.
''You never have a thought in your head, do you, Usagi-chan? The instant you de-transform, your intelligence takes a nosedive.
— Rei Hino, Sailor Moon
Film
[a truck full of explosives is rolling down a hill towards the campe, while also being broadcast on the tv]
Zangief: Quick! Change the channel!
Zangief: Quick! Change the channel!
Jenna: What are you doing?
Misty: I'm calling the police - they'll send the cops!
Jenna: They're the same thing!
Misty: Uh-uh! The cops rescue you, like on that TV show!
Misty: I'm calling the police - they'll send the cops!
Jenna: They're the same thing!
Misty: Uh-uh! The cops rescue you, like on that TV show!
"Are you sure the number is 9-1-1? If it's the South, maybe you have to type in a different area code."
—Misty, Hatchet
Literature
You remember Emmily—she was very sweet and we all loved her, but she was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Emmily wasn't even the sharpest spoon in the drawer. Most of the time, Emmily wasn't even in the drawer at all. She was lost somewhere in the bottom of the dishwasher.
—Jamie Kelly, Dear Dumb Diary
Ning Yingying’s role as a female character wasn’t just to be lovable and cute but also to dig her own grave and be a burden.
In the original work, the number of plot twists caused by her sudden disappearances, blunders, or other messes, had allowed Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky to drag out the plot for hundreds of chapters.
In the original work, the number of plot twists caused by her sudden disappearances, blunders, or other messes, had allowed Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky to drag out the plot for hundreds of chapters.
Live-Action TV
"Do you even understand what is going on here, or is the whole world just colours and shapes and the occasional noise in your head?"
— Patrick, Dead Set
"She was expelled from the National Union of Bimbos for being too dim."
— Alex, regarding Sally Smedley, Drop the Dead Donkey
Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.
Radio
"Shut up Eccles! Shut up Eccles! Shut up Eccles! Oh, that's me!"
— Eccles, The Goon Show
(The Serpentine has been drained and filled with concrete)
Seagoon: How did you get that lump on your head?
Eccles: I just dived in the Serpentine!
Seagoon: Didn't you know it was filled with solid concrete?
Eccles: No, but I know now. In any case, I wouldn't dare dive in a pool with water in it.
Seagoon: Why not?
Eccles: Can't swim!
Seagoon: How did you get that lump on your head?
Eccles: I just dived in the Serpentine!
Seagoon: Didn't you know it was filled with solid concrete?
Eccles: No, but I know now. In any case, I wouldn't dare dive in a pool with water in it.
Seagoon: Why not?
Eccles: Can't swim!
Eccles: Land ahead!
[Drawn-out sound of seagoing prison crashing up onto the shore]
Eccles: I shoulda said that sooner.
[Drawn-out sound of seagoing prison crashing up onto the shore]
Eccles: I shoulda said that sooner.
Theatre
"I think nothing, my lord."
— Ophelia, Hamlet
"That King, although noone denies
His heart was of abnormal size,
Yet he'd have acted otherwise
If he'd have been acuter."
His heart was of abnormal size,
Yet he'd have acted otherwise
If he'd have been acuter."
— Don Alhambra, Gilbert and Sullivan: The Gondoliers
"My name is Karen. I may not be smart. (Beat) That's it. "
— Karen, Mean Girls
Video Games
"Aren't you happy, Flonne? We finally found somebody dumber than you!"
— Laharl, Disgaea: Hour of Darkness
He's not just a regular moron. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation, working together with the express purpose of building the DUMBEST moron who EVER lived.
Frat Alien: My dad paid for this hole and this hole is named after my dad!
Master Shake: Maybe that's why it's called Ass!
Meatwad: Is it really called Ass?
Shake: I don't know, I'm shooting my mouth off!
Master Shake: Maybe that's why it's called Ass!
Meatwad: Is it really called Ass?
Shake: I don't know, I'm shooting my mouth off!
Webcomics
Marten: Aw, well Raven's nice, but... I think she's like, a savant who hasn't found out what her one preternatural talent is, y'know?
Tai: Is the amount of talent proportional to the amount of idiocy the savant otherwise displays? 'Cuz if so, she's gonna turn on the Weather Channel one day and spontaneously fix global warming.
Tai: Is the amount of talent proportional to the amount of idiocy the savant otherwise displays? 'Cuz if so, she's gonna turn on the Weather Channel one day and spontaneously fix global warming.
"I like swords."
— Fighter, 8-Bit Theater
Web Original
"Vain and stupid. Girl power!"
— The Nostalgia Chick, on Posh Spice in Spice World.
"Don't mind him. He was dropped on his head at birth and infected with a happy virus during childhood."
Caboose: Last time I was shot, I got a Purple Heart. Yeah, uh, I hope this time, I get a Purple Lung. You see eventually I, I hope to build an entire Purple Person. And we will be best friends.
Tucker: Maybe you should ask for a Purple Brain.
Tucker: Maybe you should ask for a Purple Brain.
Caboose: You're just jealous, 'cause you have no friends!
One/Zero: Suzaku, listen! It's me!
Suzaku: No, it is not! Because I'm me! And that makes you not me!
One/Zero: What the f***?
Suzaku: No, it is not! Because I'm me! And that makes you not me!
One/Zero: What the f***?
Western Animation
"You can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up, keep you on your toes."
— Patrick Star, Spongebob Squarepants
"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"
— Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons
"Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck..."
— Ralph Wiggum (while playing "Duck, Duck, Goose" with the furniture), The Simpsons
"When he grows up, I want to be like me!"
— Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons
"I can taste it with my sniff sniff!"
— Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons
"My cat's breath smells like cat food."
— Ralph Wiggum, The Simpsons
"With these stool wings, I'll fly to the banana!"
Lucky Bob: I spy, something that begins with the letter "B".
Cho-Cho: Blinking lights?
Lucky Bob: Nope.
Cho-Cho: Big moon outside window?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: Black darkness of deep outer space?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: A bagel?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: A blitz?
Lucky Bob: No.
Caption: 55 HOURS LATER
Cho-Cho: A bupka?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: Big Fat Flying Baby?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: A Bob who is lucky?
Lucky Bob: Uh... no.
Cho-Cho: Bursting blood vessels in the astronauts' necks?
Astronauts: TELL HER ALREADY!!
Sammy Melman: WHAT DO YOU SPY THAT BEGINS WITH A "B"?!!
Lucky Bob: Chocolate!
Cho-Cho: Blinking lights?
Lucky Bob: Nope.
Cho-Cho: Big moon outside window?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: Black darkness of deep outer space?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: A bagel?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: A blitz?
Lucky Bob: No.
Caption: 55 HOURS LATER
Cho-Cho: A bupka?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: Big Fat Flying Baby?
Lucky Bob: No.
Cho-Cho: A Bob who is lucky?
Lucky Bob: Uh... no.
Cho-Cho: Bursting blood vessels in the astronauts' necks?
Astronauts: TELL HER ALREADY!!
Sammy Melman: WHAT DO YOU SPY THAT BEGINS WITH A "B"?!!
Lucky Bob: Chocolate!
"If I had one dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar."
— Squidward Tentacles, Spongebob Squarepants
"And now it's time for Ask Dr. Stupid!"
Zim: Um, is it supposed to be stupid?
Purple: It's not stupid, it's advaaaaaaaaanced.
Purple: It's not stupid, it's advaaaaaaaaanced.
— Invader Zim, concerning GIR
Brain: Pinky, your complete inability to grasp the sublime is deeply sublime in and of itself.
Pinky: Oh, Brain, I love it when you say things about me that I don't understand. Poit.
Pinky: Oh, Brain, I love it when you say things about me that I don't understand. Poit.
Real Life
"You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance."
— Edward Flaherty
"So everyone is talking about "old" Hollywood, which I think is basically like regular Hollywood, except it's wrinkly and smells like mothballs and metamucil. The best way to get this look is to have your grandma sit on your clothes for awhile and then you can wear them!"
— Tiffany Thongbiscuit on the "Old Hollywood" look.
